It’s a dog one. Who was being unreasonable?

[Ohhelpicantthinkofaname]

So, I own a friendly, if slightly mad medium sized dog.

today we were out on a walk and was heading back up a footpath with a stream to the side. Most people have their dogs off the lead along this path, it’s nothing unusual.

so I’m walking up the path and my dog is a little way ahead. A child approx 20+ meters away see my dog, screams and runs back to his mum. The child is probably 7-9 years old. I call my dog back so she’s near me.

A man who was with them and I think a friend rather than the child’s father comes up to me and says “that child is scared of dogs”. I reply “ok, well my dog likes kids, but I’ll take her over here” and walked over to where the stream was a threw her ball in so she would just play and ignore them as they walked by.

the man gave me the filthiest look and mutter some choice things about me under his breath.

to my mind it’s better for a child with a fear of dogs to see a dog at a safe distance minding its own business, rather than me panicking and rushing to put it back on the lead, making it seem like there really is something to fear. My dog has good recall and I trusted her not to cause an issue. Also at that child’s age I would have thought some exposure to dogs to try and address what is clearly quite a serious fear would be a good thing, rather than feeding into it by trying to ensure he doesn’t encounter any dogs.

so was I unreasonable for not putting my dog straight back on the lead, and the man was justified for his glaring and muttered insults. Or is it fine to keep her off the lead, occupied and at a safe distance?

The kid passed by without incident btw. If I though my dogs would have actually done anything she would have been on the lead.

Until it's not, as you can never 100% accurately predict any animal's behaviour. A dog might be friendly and just want to "say hello" but that doesn't mean everyone wants it to.

So far in his 11 years he's been 100% reliable. He doesn't even want to 'say hello'. And I don't think the law is going to change before he offs it, so we'll just carry on as we are.

My doggie woggie adores off lead walks, no law against it, no crime, so it’ll continue.

So no lead in a shared space, no matter how many times you parrot repeat that idea.

There's numerous cases of men attacking women in parks; a few years ago a woman was murdered in my local park by a stranger on Christmas Eve.

Can we make it illegal for men to access parks and other public spaces unless they're on a leash, and preferably kept under control by a woman? How am I meant to know the difference between a strange man who just wants to say hello and one that wants to stab me to death?

After all, you may think your hubby-wubby enjoys his solo walks and would never do something like that, but I'm sure Wayne Couzens' wife thought the same.

Yabvu. It’s important that you recognise that fear of dogs is not some irrational phobia that a child needs to overcome, like a fear of mice/spiders/dark. Fear of dogs usually means the child has had a bad experience with an aggressive dog and a lazy owner who didn’t have it under control.

What was needed in this situation was not you to arrogantly step into the parent’s role and decide that it was your place to ‘desensitise the child to an off-lead dog’ - what was needed was that you demonstrate that you had the dog under control, by putting it on a lead. The child and its family had no way of knowing if you were a lazy/incompetent dog owner, or if your dog was aggressive. A nice person would have prioritised reassuring them.

You were not nice. You were very rude and unkind to a frightened child.

Guide dogs are allowed everywhere. Therefore if you want to absolutely guarantee a dog free space you'll need to stay at home.

@Lockheart I’ve always been okay with guide dogs for the fact I appreciate it’s a necessity and they tend to be incredibly well behaved. Never had an issue with them even as a kid. And when it was only them inside cafes, hotels etc in the 90s it was a far more infrequent occurrence to see them.

Now it’s opened up to all dogs I see pet dogs in most local cafes I sit in on a very regular basis! Can’t remember the last time the dog I seen inside a cafe, bank or library etc was a guide dog, nowadays I’m just seeing pet dogs! Cafe Nero last week and one was barking it’s head off because the owner said these two kids could pet it - not sure if the dog agreed.

Now they have infiltrated everywhere yes it is unfortunately hard to avoid them (pets) but of course I won’t just “stay in” and erode my whole quality of life. However, I’ll continue to take reasonable steps to do what I can to avoid them by checking policies or venues where possible. I haven’t seen one in a theatre yet which is good as I adore theatre. I guess I’ll just cross that hurdle if and when I come to it.

I like that the Manchester tram doesn’t allow (non guide) dogs either because other forms of public transport do, which is annoying. Can’t they have at least have specific carriages for dogs in trains 🙄

Trams in Manchester do allow dogs now... I always thought it bloody stupid that theres a tram stop right outside the RSPCA animal hospital, but you couldn't take a dog on the tram.

They do have to be well behaved though and if not, like any other form of public transport, they can be asked to leave.

Just to say something about dogs in cafes. My SIL has two very excitable, (and not particularly well trained) dogs. She and MIL took them into a dog friendly cafe and were asked to leave because the dogs were barking very loudly. They reached a compromise as SIL had already paid for food and drinks at the counter and agreed they would sit at one of the tables outside. Unfortunately the dogs were even more excited by this turn of events and went bananas, overturning the table together with MIL and SIL's open sandwiches and traybakes. Thankfully the coffee wasn't ready or there could have been scalded humans and animals. I know, I know - NADALT, but crikey it gave me good laugh. And fair play to the cafe owner for chucking them out of her dog friendly establishment.

We definitely DO need businesses that are dog friendly to be willing to boot out customers with dogs that can't/won't behave/aren't trained.

I am obviously very pro dog friendly businesses but that certainly doesn't mean tolerating dogs jumping around or constant barking (the odd woof of surprise, they're still sentient beings of course, but not endless barking!).

Our local caffe nero chucks out people who bring their dogs in minging and wet/muddy too, they have to sit outside or go get dried off/cleaned up first.

Calling your dog away from the child was fine, I wouldn't have cared whether it was on the lead as long as it is close to you and away from my child.
However your attitude about dogs and children is way off. It's not up to you as a random stranger to decide that a child's fear of dogs needs to be addressed by you and your dog!
Plus most dog owners are complete idiots and will let their large dog lick a child's face or jump up knocking them over and think that's appropriate. After a few times of that, children who previously liked dogs do start to get a bit wary.

I went to a very dog friendly cafe the other day, to the point that dogs were part of their whole branding and they had a sign that said something like ‘dogs welcome, humans tolerated’.

They had a code of conduct on the door that asked people not to bring in reactive dogs, to alert staff to any ‘accidents’, and while the occasional barking was ok people should take dogs outside if they barked persistently.

I thought that was great and something that more dog-friendly places should do. Then everyone knows what’s expected.

@Boomboom22

You don't want dogs in towns/parks or the countryside? Where do want dog owners to walk their dogs? Start at the kitchen, around the dining room, right turning through the living room and a few laps of the back garden?

Going by previous posts, we're all apparently supposed to rent a fenced field for an hour or two every day.

@SnackSizeRaisin " Plus most dog owners are complete idiots"

???????????????????

"It's not a strategy, just my views." - You've told us your view numerous times. It's tedious.

"doggie woggies" - ??? Are you 5 years old?

"Glad to see some recent posters also agree." - Yes some do. But more posters disagree with your view.

Read my posts, I've not once suggested there should be any law, just common courtesy in a shared space where people, not dogs, should come first. But hey I'm the bad guy apparently.

So because I don't bend to everyone else's view, it's tedious? The arrogance of some people on this thread knows no bounds. Any person is more important than any dog. People should have priority in a shared space.

And I'm sure the next thing will be that I am arrogant, and that I'm oppressing your dogs rights or whatever. As I've noted in other posts, I've had multiple intrusive incidents with dogs off leads in shared spaces, including approaching my baby and biting me. Perhaps some of you for once tiny nano second can appreciate why I might hold ( and tediously repeat) the view I have.

Put your dog on a lead. Please.

@Justdontbejudgy -"So because I don't bend to everyone else's view, it's tedious?" No, it's not because you stick to your views. It's because you just repeat those same phrases over and over and over again. Yes, it's tedious to keep hearing the same crap from the same person ten times in one day. As for the rest of your post, you've just done it AGAIN, repeated AGAIN what you've already said numerous times.

So I'm not allowed to respond to people unless I say something different?

No, i didn't say that. I said if you've already stated your view numerous times and have nothing NEW to add, then what's the point saying it again. and again. and again.....

I'm off now, you've bored me into oblivion. Keep wittering on if it makes you happy......

Ok bye!

PS. keep your dog on a lead in shared spaces!

Why?
cos you think you’re king of the world?
you aren’t

though you seem think tedious nagging is some kind of human-behaviour change tactic

It isn’t so good luck with that!

Nope

I'll do that when you actually follow you alleged username and stop being judgy. Which will be....when?

It's quite clear none of the dog owners on this thread are going to change their views or even acknowledge in the slighest what is driving mine (adverse experience that is dog owners' faults not mine BTW). I'm not nagging, I'm merely not shifting my view and neither are they, with their tone pushing me to respond in an increasingly facetious way....and my, don't you all get SO ANNOYED!!!!!!

My opinion remains steadfast and no one will change my mind, I'm actually finding everyone's annoyance kind of perplexing. No one is forcing you to read my posts, I've been quite clear from the off, yet somehow sticking to my opinion makes me tedious and that I think I'm 'King of the world'..eh alright....As a Republican I wouldn't want to be the King of anything, but that's a whole other discussion.

Kindly keep your dogs on a lead in shared spaces. Thank you and goodnight.