It’s a dog one. Who was being unreasonable?

[Ohhelpicantthinkofaname]

So, I own a friendly, if slightly mad medium sized dog.

today we were out on a walk and was heading back up a footpath with a stream to the side. Most people have their dogs off the lead along this path, it’s nothing unusual.

so I’m walking up the path and my dog is a little way ahead. A child approx 20+ meters away see my dog, screams and runs back to his mum. The child is probably 7-9 years old. I call my dog back so she’s near me.

A man who was with them and I think a friend rather than the child’s father comes up to me and says “that child is scared of dogs”. I reply “ok, well my dog likes kids, but I’ll take her over here” and walked over to where the stream was a threw her ball in so she would just play and ignore them as they walked by.

the man gave me the filthiest look and mutter some choice things about me under his breath.

to my mind it’s better for a child with a fear of dogs to see a dog at a safe distance minding its own business, rather than me panicking and rushing to put it back on the lead, making it seem like there really is something to fear. My dog has good recall and I trusted her not to cause an issue. Also at that child’s age I would have thought some exposure to dogs to try and address what is clearly quite a serious fear would be a good thing, rather than feeding into it by trying to ensure he doesn’t encounter any dogs.

so was I unreasonable for not putting my dog straight back on the lead, and the man was justified for his glaring and muttered insults. Or is it fine to keep her off the lead, occupied and at a safe distance?

The kid passed by without incident btw. If I though my dogs would have actually done anything she would have been on the lead.

*If you're so het up about trying to avoid dogs, have you considered the fact the problem is your sensibilities, as opposed to the dogs for just, you know..... existing.

If your fear dictates everything about where you go, you really need to seek help.*

Are you serious? Have you ever watched your tiny 6 month old baby be attacked by a dog while sitting in his pram? By a dog whose owner said 'he's never done anything like that before'? You can't seriously be trying to tell me that I'M the problem, not dogs and their idiot, arrogant owners?

Shared space? Dog on lead. No debate.

No yanbu. I have a tiny, friendly dog. Her recall is excellent and she likes to say hello to other dogs and kids. She always comes straight back if I call her away. Not had a bad experience yet.

You are applying your very rare and unfortunate experience to everyone else.

Maybe rare, but surely you can see why people would prefer to avoid this, especially when all it takes is for dog owners to take pay proper attention to their dogs and make sure they can't approach strangers. (Unless both side clearly communicate otherwise)

MN dog haters out in force again 🙄

Apart from there is. As you don't need a dog on a lead in all shared spaces if they're under control.

This.

I must say I’m surprised by how many people who are scared of dogs, or who have a child who is scared of dogs are saying the OP should have brought her dog close to the passers by. Why would someone who is scared of a dog opt for a dog to be brought close to them?

I do apologise for my error - in some places in the uk there are dog parks.

In 20+ years of dog ownership and working in various aspects of the dog profession I have never come across one, despite living in several different regions of the uk and on a quick poll of my professional network only one of them is aware of one (I suspect the same place someone else described up thread)...

So my point still stands, the availability of dog parks, as well as their detrimental effects on dog behaviour, make them not an option for the majority of dog owners, and not a sensible option for anyone.

As for those misquoting the dangerous dogs act - the fear of injury has to be reasonable. Being scared of a dog all the way over there, that has been seen to be responsive to verbal cues, isn't approaching anyone and is interacting with its owner is not reasonable.

The lead is not what determines 'under control' and dogs can be out of control and on a lead!

The lead is not what determines 'under control' and dogs can be out of control and on a lead!

I said this a few times up thread - a dog on the lead isn't necessarily under control, especially when being on a lead brings it closer to the other humans. I find the obsession with leads on this thread a bit odd. I'd find it less weird if people wanted all dogs to be muzzled in public spaces - I mean, I'd hate that, but at least it would make some sense. Mandatory training or competence based dog licenses would also make sense, even though they'd be a nightmare to enforce. But a lead doesn't make a dog safe, and being loose doesn't make a dog dangerous.

A muzzle might stop a dog biting but it won’t stop it from jumping up, knocking kids over, and generally being a nuisance. The only solution is for dog owners and non-dog owners alike to be reasonable and respectful. Dog owners should not allow their pets to approach strangers, especially not children, unless they know everyone involved is happy with it. That means the owner either needs be vigilant on walks and to make sure Fido has very good recall, or keep the dog leashed on walks where there is a chance of meeting others. Non dog owners, meanwhile, should be rational and polite. If an owner clearly has good control and takes the dog well away from any pedestrians who don’t want to get kicked, sniffed, and jumped on, then the pedestrian should say thank you and not kick up a fuss about leads. It’s really hard to see why any of this is controversial.

If it was public space, not designed for dogs only, YABU for keeping it off leash.

It's not the law or even required in most areas. A dog just needs to be under control. Which OPs was.

Yep, 'under control' is the requirement in UK public spaces, unless specified otherwise on signs or by a by-law. That can be voice control.

I think the OP did exactly the right thing in taking her dog away to do something else and give the kid space - perhaps the comment about her dog liking kids wasn't the best thing to say but who hasn't said slightly the wrong thing when confronted with someone barking a random statement at them rudely?

Ywnbu at all!
Your dog was under control.
Why anyone would say Yabu is beyond belief.
Hope you and your dog enjoyed the rest of your walk.🐕🐕🐶🐶🐾🐾

About time people educated thier kids to expect to see dogs out on a walk you should he able to enjoy your doggie walks.

@Anotherproblem

Exactly, I get the impression some people train their children to hate/fear dogs, which is very sad for them as dogs are everywhere! What happens when they receive a party invitation to a home where there are dogs, or if their best mate has a dog? They’ll be the ones who miss out.

No, I don't have a dog. But we have friends and family who have dogs, so I had to help my DDs overcome their fear of dogs.

Yep I'm.also not a dog owner but I believe this is life and people should get a grip instead of been hostile to dog owners most dogs just want to be friendly.

@LizzieW1969 I didn't 'train' my child to not like dogs.
He has autism.
Fear of dogs is very common in Nd because it's a fairly rational phobia seen in black and white. Loud unpredictable animal bigger than me=scary.

And it's the arrogance of op thinking that she is a)able to and be) entitled to train my child out of a phobia which tells me all I need to know about her.

So now dogs are apparently higher up the hierarchy than the neuro diverse as well as children.
And you wonder why most dog owners are considered cocks?

Yes, well done on the "no shit, Sherlock" post there - of course dogs shouldn't be allowed to jump up or knock kids over, but the whole point of my post is that a lead also does NOT stop a dog doing those things if the owner doesn't also demonstrate some common sense, training or have the decency to step away from the path. The OP did use her common sense and training, because her dog did not approach the child or jump up or anything else - hence the "put it on a lead" hysteria is nonsensical. A dog with poor recall, should, of course, be on a lead as a minimum requirement, but that's not relevant here. The posters here seem to think that the dog being under control, not approaching the child, licking it, sniffing it or jumping on it, is insufficient purely because it was not also on a lead.

It's almost like you didn't even read the post you quoted 🙄

Your dc has autism (so do 2 of mine). OP took her dog off the path to avoid “scared” child. Carer of scared child had a go at OP for allowing her dog off lead in an an off lead location. OP took her dog off the path to avoid scared child because she saw child was scared. No child was “attacked” by a rabid dog.

Im not getting the angst here tbh. Not every dog attacks people. Those that do are, rightly, kept on lead and muzzled - if their owners recognise the risk their dog presents. Not enough owners do, I agree. Some owners muzzle their dogs and don’t recognise the tragic scenes their muzzled dog can cause.

But in this instance OP clocked the distressed child and moved her dog away from the public footpath. Nobody was injured by the gnashing of teeth - or even approached. MN is bonkers on times 🥴

OP you WNBU. Some posters relay their random experiences from years ago.

I’m so glad I live in a rural location and have fields, tracks, beaches and mountains to walk my dog, with no stress. Honestly, I couldn’t deal with the wrath of dog haters, for no reason. Other than then they hate dogs.

Walk your dog on a local beach now. Only dog walkers will be on the beach this time of year. It’s so less stressful than dealing with entitled dog haters in the summer months

No need to be so rude. I did read the post I quoted, and I responded to the suggestion in it that compulsory muzzles would make more sense than compulsory leads. (No, because dogs don’t cause harm solely by biting, hence my point about the need for proper control, whether on or off leads.) I agree, it is a bit ‘no shit, Sherlock’, but since most of the thread is people either screaming that dogs should be leashed at all times or conversely that they should run free and those that fear or dislike them should just stay at home, the middle ground I propose in which people are just not inconsiderate pricks actually seemed worth stating. Why you have such a problem with that is beyond me.

Yes until they jump up on me with their muddy feet, or worse jump on my toddler who is scared of dogs, or even worse coming and biting my ankles while I am running with headphones on giving me the fright of my life.

And don't tell me it is fine, because it's not. The space is for everyone and I shouldn't have to experience any of the above but I have. Keep your animal on a lead in a shared space. I like dogs and would have one if I had the time and space to look after it, but I don't want unwanted contact with other people's dogs who are "under control".

Read the OP eh?

Dog went nowhere near anybody. It was recalled and stayed with its owner!!