It’s a dog one. Who was being unreasonable?

[Ohhelpicantthinkofaname]

So, I own a friendly, if slightly mad medium sized dog.

today we were out on a walk and was heading back up a footpath with a stream to the side. Most people have their dogs off the lead along this path, it’s nothing unusual.

so I’m walking up the path and my dog is a little way ahead. A child approx 20+ meters away see my dog, screams and runs back to his mum. The child is probably 7-9 years old. I call my dog back so she’s near me.

A man who was with them and I think a friend rather than the child’s father comes up to me and says “that child is scared of dogs”. I reply “ok, well my dog likes kids, but I’ll take her over here” and walked over to where the stream was a threw her ball in so she would just play and ignore them as they walked by.

the man gave me the filthiest look and mutter some choice things about me under his breath.

to my mind it’s better for a child with a fear of dogs to see a dog at a safe distance minding its own business, rather than me panicking and rushing to put it back on the lead, making it seem like there really is something to fear. My dog has good recall and I trusted her not to cause an issue. Also at that child’s age I would have thought some exposure to dogs to try and address what is clearly quite a serious fear would be a good thing, rather than feeding into it by trying to ensure he doesn’t encounter any dogs.

so was I unreasonable for not putting my dog straight back on the lead, and the man was justified for his glaring and muttered insults. Or is it fine to keep her off the lead, occupied and at a safe distance?

The kid passed by without incident btw. If I though my dogs would have actually done anything she would have been on the lead.

Imagine having sensibilities vs being blind to the myriad problems dogs and their entitled arseholes bring everywhere.

it is NOT irrational to fear a beast with teeth, that has been known to bite, maul, KILL. Damn right I’m wary. Stop being so complacent, you’re ignorance is risking the rest of us.

Cars and men will kill many more people each year than dogs. But someone who screamed and ran away at every Prius or bloke out doing his shopping would quite rightly need help for this irrational fear.

It is. The vast majority of dogs are not dogs that have bitten, mauled or killed.

Well said, Lockheart!

people are commonly hospitalised from human bites. Do you fear all people too?
perhaps we should all be messaged and muzzled in public @Cup0fAmbition ?

Human bites! Pahahaha! Nope I've never heard of anyone suffering a human bite. On the other hand, I know many people who have suffered a dog bite.

Let's all just be sensible now. We really should ban/cage/cull anything that may be dangerous to children. Some adults are agressive, so no child should ever be in a position to go near one. Some men are paedophiles, so no man should be allowed out in public. Vehicles are dangerous if driven by the wrong person, we must remove all cars from the roads. Some parents are abusive, so no parent should ever be allowed access to any child, even their own.

We really must teach our children to be afraid of everything, so they grow up and stay safely locked in their houses for the rest of their lives.

Funny how Lockhart seems to understand men are a statistical danger when it comes to dogs, but not when they're arguing for men to be included in women's safe spaces.

It's really difficult.
When I walk my dog and I see other dogs /children up ahead , I put my dog back on the lead.

The trouble is, my dog thinks that there's something afoot when I do this. Hence, growling .

Never used to be this way but I , maybe stupidly, believed all the posts from people who were petrified of dogs , especially ones who weren't on leads.

So now my dog is nervous.

If I plod along a pavement then he'll turn to fat.

Maybe no one should keep dogs?

I haven’t read the entire thread so don’t know if this has already been mentioned, but I think that all responsible dog owners who control their dogs pay a tax for those who don’t. The other people probably had no reason to believe that you could control your dog and that it wouldn’t approach the girl, and in fact probably had plenty of experience of dog owners saying “oh, he/she won’t do anything” just before their excitable dog rushed up to the girl and leapt up, reaffirming her phobia. I hear this throwaway comment all the time just before someone’s dog tries to attack my leashed reactive dog.
This was NOT an educational opportunity, but a time to pay your ‘good dog owner’ tax and demonstrate that at least some dog owners are aware of and sympathetic to the needs of others.

I don't think I've ever argued FOR that.

Lots of people fixating on your statement about your dog liking kids, but they're seemingly oblivious that the bloke who approached you didn't use his manners at all. "That kid's scared of dogs" isn't even a request, let alone a polite one. He doesn't deserve the measured, kindly responses everyone on here claims they would've given him. The child, of course, deserved consideration from the OP, but the fixation on what she said to the man is what surprises me. I find it outrageous that the OP is expected to be polite and psychically know that some people will misinterpret her comment about the dog, but the man is allowed a free pass to be as rude as he likes. Is that because he's a man and she's a woman, or just because there's a dog involved?!

To be entirely honest, I suspect my response would've been to look blankly at him until he clarified what he wanted and asked politely for it to happen. Manners cost nothing, and he definitely started the awkwardness of their exchange.

I think you've mixed me up. A search of my post history would make it quite clear I do not believe TWAW...

I think the decent thing would have been to put the dog on the lead so the dad and the child could relax and not have to keep looking over their shoulder. People are very sentience to it at the moment as horrendously entitled and irresponsible dog owners are are everywhere in appallingly high numbers at the moment. Not tarring you with that brush OP, you sound sensible and conscientious enough, although you did ultimately decide your dogs enjoyment trumped the childs right to feel safe, which often is what ultimately lies at the heart of these stand offs.

Fair enough.

You were sensitive and careful OP. You took your dog out of the way.
That man had no right to be annoyed.

I too would not put my dog on a lead, she has perfect recall and would not dream of approaching a child.

And how do other people know she has perfect recall? Special badge? Tag? Branding?

Or just your say so...

Yabu. You should have just put it on a lead.

Probably by her behaviour I expect 🤦‍♀️

Oh well if you’ve personally never heard of it we can all rest easy then.
I mean you’re clearly some kind of expert and your opinion definitely overrides actual evidence!

or perhaps you’re just someone ranting about your personal biases on the internet 🤷‍♀️

And how can one predict a dogs behaviour?
It takes about twenty seconds to go from sitting by owner to jumping up at strangers. Less if the distance is as the op describes.

So, I own a...................slightly mad medium sized dog*

Animal madness isn't predictable and fear of dogs in not irrational. Many people have a rational fear of dogs having been attacked by peoples pet dogs who were described as 'friendly' by their owners.

Fair enough, our own children matter to us more, as we protect our own. But what makes humans matter more than dogs? I must have missed that memo....

You did ask the question OP…. Are you being unreasonable. And then the only ‘level headed’ responses are those who completely agree with you. That does reek of entitlement. If you 100% back yourself and your dog over the rights of others, why even ask the question. You’re doing scared kids a massive favour right? 🙄🙄🙄🙄