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Original poster

Mum's boyfriend kicking her out of their home after 24 years

383 replies

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:44

Just found out that my mum's partner has sold their house and is kicking her out. She doesn't know yet.

They aren't married but she invested £25k into their first home, which they bought for £125k. Her name has never been on the deeds.

They have moved house four times and their current home is worth maybe £800k. She's done loads of DIY and they have also had lodgers that she has done the work for. She paid £30k for the kitchen last year.

My mum's boyfriend's son (whom I have thought of as a stepbrother) has said that his dad plans to give my mum back the £25k from their first house. We are both shocked that his dad is being so mean.

Although they are not married I can't believe that he can get away with just giving her the £25k. If she can prove she bought the kitchen does that give her any rights at all?

Hoping that someone can give me advice on what my mum should do. Is it better if she stays in the house until they reach a fair settlement or is she better to get away as soon as possible?

OP posts:
Whinge · 08/12/2022 09:25

I still haven't found any evidence of the sale so I don't know if he's lying about the house already being sold to try to make her move out, or if he's done a private sale.

This might be a daft question, but has he actually told you he's sold the house? or are you hearing this second hand through his son?

Imdoingitnext · 08/12/2022 10:04

It's an awful thing to happen to your mum
But I I wondered this too. I'd check out the facts before getting legal advice.

LexMitior · 08/12/2022 12:39

Yes of course the possibility is that the step son wants a big fight between your mother and his father so suggested this sale to poison matters.

I wonder who benefits from this?

PrincessConstance · 08/12/2022 13:02

TeachesOfPeaches · 04/12/2022 19:56

It's possible that she can make a claim on the home as she has financially contributed to improving the value of the house.

You need to look into establishing 'beneficial interest'.

Correct.

Goldpaw · 08/12/2022 13:12

OP, you can sign up on the land registry website to be notified of any activity that might flag up a sale. They send you an email.

I did thisfor my own house and my dad's after he died.

Chersfrozenface · 09/12/2022 09:10

OP I'm sure this will come up if your mother speaks to a lawyer, but in case she want to ask about it herself, can she get hold of figures on income from the B&B's / Airbnb's?
If so, she can point out how much how her work contributed to earning that income. That would be in addition to any sums she can spent on properties.

For that matter, were they run as proper businesses? Was the income from them reported to HMRC and tax paid on it if required? Was she paying National Insurance or was the business paying it for her? This will impact on what state pension she will get. She should probably go to www.gov.uk/check-state-pension and check that she has enough NI contributions for a state pension.

LadyEloise1 · 19/12/2022 12:47

How are things @heathspeedwell ?
I hope your Mum got legal advice.

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/01/2023 09:30

@LadyEloise1 thanks for asking - we have now seen a brilliant solicitor who has been really helpful and has many years of experience in Tolata claims. It was a horrible shock for mum to find out her partner was trying to screw her over, nobody wants to admit they have made such a big mistake. But now she's getting happier and braver by the day. I am hopeful this will give her a whole new lease of life.

OP posts:
IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 04/01/2023 09:39

heathspeedwell · 04/01/2023 09:30

@LadyEloise1 thanks for asking - we have now seen a brilliant solicitor who has been really helpful and has many years of experience in Tolata claims. It was a horrible shock for mum to find out her partner was trying to screw her over, nobody wants to admit they have made such a big mistake. But now she's getting happier and braver by the day. I am hopeful this will give her a whole new lease of life.

@heathspeedwell Have they broken up or are they still together? Is she still in the house?

LadyEloise1 · 04/01/2023 11:14

@heathspeedwell
I am so glad she is getting the help she needs. The stress on her must be awful. I believe stress causes illness. Be gentle with her. What a horrible shock she has had.

saraclara · 04/01/2023 11:21

Thank you for updating. I really hope that her solicitor is successful at getting her everything her she is due. Thank goodness she found her fight.

What is your 'step-brother's take on all this? As he warned you, does that mean he doesn't approve of his dad's behaviour?

nettie434 · 04/01/2023 21:05

Really glad that your mum has found a specialist solicitor and that she is reacting so positively to what must have been a terrible shock.

Naddd · 04/01/2023 23:37

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:55

She was resolutely against marriage and has always said one divorce was enough.

Then really she should have had her name on the deeds. Or at least sought legal advice. With her already being divorced she would have has some insight surely.

Anyway id seek legal advice asap. I would personally tell her to stay put unless in danger. He may well offer her more.

Has she spoken to him telling him what she does want ie 30k for the kitchen plus the 25k plus whatever the % increase of that.

Does she have any proof of the 25k? I think you said she does for the kitchen.

MissMarplesbag · 04/01/2023 23:45

heathspeedwell · 04/01/2023 09:30

@LadyEloise1 thanks for asking - we have now seen a brilliant solicitor who has been really helpful and has many years of experience in Tolata claims. It was a horrible shock for mum to find out her partner was trying to screw her over, nobody wants to admit they have made such a big mistake. But now she's getting happier and braver by the day. I am hopeful this will give her a whole new lease of life.

Thanks for the update OP, glad that your mum has seen sense. How has the ex reacted towards the push back?

Naddd · 04/01/2023 23:48

heathspeedwell · 07/12/2022 17:34

Thanks everyone for the tips. I still haven't found any evidence of the sale so I don't know if he's lying about the house already being sold to try to make her move out, or if he's done a private sale. My mum comes and stays at mine once a week so he could have sneakily been doing viewings on that day. Just found out she also paid thousands for a new boiler for their current house.

I hope I haven't made her sound daft, she's a very bright woman but very trusting and she sees the good in everyone.

Just wanted to say she's not daft. You're meant to be able to trust your partner aren't you?

Its actually quite sad that you have to say to people make sure you protect yourself, just in case. You would think that even if things don't work out a fair settlement could be worked out between a couple, after all there was love/respect there once.

Its ludicrous that if your married you get half even if nothing was contributed but if you lived together its different even if one contributed more.

Anyway hope ur mum gets her fair share

Neverhot · 05/01/2023 01:05

Thanks for the update op, really glad she has gone to see a solicitor. Keep us updated 😊

80sPrincess · 10/05/2023 00:02

I'm so sorry your mum went through that, she should have gotten therapy before getting involved in a 'partnership' after her divorce. But this is why it's never a good idea to mix your finances and DNA with someone you wouldn't marry first unless it's purely business with paperwork in place to prevent incidents like this.

ThatEdgyFeeling · 10/05/2023 04:01

@LadyEloise1 is there an update? How is your mum? I am really hoping that she managed to do something, anything!

foulksmills · 10/05/2023 08:07

@ThatEdgyFeeling LadyEloise isn't the OP, heathspeedwell is.

LadyEloise1 · 10/05/2023 08:59

@heathspeedwell is the original poster @ThatEdgyFeeling.
I do hope her Mum is doing well.

ThatEdgyFeeling · 11/05/2023 15:42

Oops. I do hope she is OK though

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 12/05/2023 09:25

Thanks everyone for your help and support, it made a huge difference.

I'm happy to say that mum is doing really well. She's got herself a little flat (not exchanged yet but shouldn't be too long now). She's been on a couple of lovely holidays with relatives, is currently staying with her favourite sister and they are out most nights seeing live music or going to the cinema, coming over for dinner etc.

We had a hiccup in the legal side of things as the first solicitor we saw has since retired. But the new one we're seeing is very dynamic and she's exploring a few avenues.

More than anything I'm just happy that mum's got away from her controlling partner. In news that wont surprise anyone he's already moved on to his next victim.

OP posts:
Ktime · 12/05/2023 09:39

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:55

She was resolutely against marriage and has always said one divorce was enough.

She's been monumentally stupid.

I hope a lawyer can help her claw money back.

A cautionary tale for other women.

Ktime · 12/05/2023 09:45

Cross post! Glad she is doing well.

WineIsMyMainVice · 12/05/2023 09:55

Ihatethenewlook · 04/12/2022 19:55

Op mn is the worst place for legal advice, believe me. If you want opinions on the situation, then of course it’s unfair. But your mum needs legal advice asap. And I’d strongly advise her to stay in the house rather than leave. Just thinking about it logically, she loses a lot of legal hold over the house if she’s not even living in it. I wouldn’t be leaving that house until ordered by the court.

Agree