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Original poster

Mum's boyfriend kicking her out of their home after 24 years

383 replies

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:44

Just found out that my mum's partner has sold their house and is kicking her out. She doesn't know yet.

They aren't married but she invested £25k into their first home, which they bought for £125k. Her name has never been on the deeds.

They have moved house four times and their current home is worth maybe £800k. She's done loads of DIY and they have also had lodgers that she has done the work for. She paid £30k for the kitchen last year.

My mum's boyfriend's son (whom I have thought of as a stepbrother) has said that his dad plans to give my mum back the £25k from their first house. We are both shocked that his dad is being so mean.

Although they are not married I can't believe that he can get away with just giving her the £25k. If she can prove she bought the kitchen does that give her any rights at all?

Hoping that someone can give me advice on what my mum should do. Is it better if she stays in the house until they reach a fair settlement or is she better to get away as soon as possible?

OP posts:
Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:59

My 'stepbrother' has only just told me so I haven't spoken to my mum yet. I knew things weren't ideal because she was coming here on her own for Christmas but I'll make sure she speaks to a solicitor asap.

OP posts:
Dontaskdontget · 04/12/2022 19:59

bumbledeedum · 04/12/2022 19:57

Google constructive or resulting trusts, they could be applicable.

Do this!

ReallyTiredAndHungry · 04/12/2022 19:59

This reply has been deleted

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Stopthebusplease · 04/12/2022 20:00

Whatever happens please don't encourage her to move out of the house until she absolutely has to. As everyone else has said, she hasn't done herself any favours by not marrying this guy, but getting legal advice a.s.a.p. is clearly the most important next step.

FloydPepper · 04/12/2022 20:00

Someone’s asked this, but who’s paid the mortgage for 24 years?

hay5689 · 04/12/2022 20:00

This happened to me but not to the value of your mother's predicament. She needs to get all proof of anything she's paid for, home improvements, mortgage etc and get to a solicitor asap.

If she can prove she's contributed to the value of the home by improving it she's got a case. It's complicated and expensive and for me wasn't worth perusing because the legal fees would have taken up so much of the money but at what her house is worth I'd go for it.

Ihatethenewlook · 04/12/2022 20:00

CharityShopChic · 04/12/2022 19:54

The problem is that legally, it's not her home. It's his home and he is allowing her to stay there.

Show quote history

This is why you need proper legal advice, because you get people like this who don’t have a clue about the legalities. As she has been living there for so long and put so much money in she could potentially get a temporary cohabitation order put in place, they then need legal advice to negotiate on a deed of separation which could leave her with a fair bit of money. Do not let her leave that house!

bellac11 · 04/12/2022 20:01

HomemadePickle · 04/12/2022 19:57

This is a terrible situation and I’m so sorry for your mum - but I’ve said YABU as this is the reality in England if you are unmarried. In NZ, for example, you start to accrue legal rights after 3 years of cohabitation. But this is not the case in England and there is no straightforward answer and certainly no automatic entitlement to anything.

Its nothing to do with her being unmarried. Its because she didnt buy the house with him, he bought it and he owns it and he is on the deeds. If she was on the deeds as a proportion of ownership then she would have a claim on the house

As it is she will have to prove she paid out for the things she did

GetThatHelmetOn · 04/12/2022 20:03

If she has evidence that she had paid towards the mortgage or maintenance she may be able to make him pay that money back.

Either way she needs proper legal advice asap. Move this thread to legal but bear in mind that she won’t be able to go through this just with free advice or that of the CAB.

Speedweed · 04/12/2022 20:03

He can sell it, but she doesn't have to leave - she'll have a right of occupation (similar to a tenant), so that's a bargaining chip as he'll have to get confirmation from her in writing that she'll go when it's sold. But go and see a good lawyer asap, as she'll be able to sue - and tell her to start collecting evidence of her diy and working on these properties - receipts for payment, emails instructing builders, photographs of her doing the diy etc, as far back as she can find.

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 20:03

To be clear he definitely paid the mortgage, but she has made significant contributions that were both financial and time-intensive over the years.

OP posts:
Stopsnowing · 04/12/2022 20:04

Legal advice needed re constructive trusts and seeing if she can register something at the land registry to stop him selling until
the dispute is resolved.

GetThatHelmetOn · 04/12/2022 20:05

Ihatethenewlook · 04/12/2022 20:00

This is why you need proper legal advice, because you get people like this who don’t have a clue about the legalities. As she has been living there for so long and put so much money in she could potentially get a temporary cohabitation order put in place, they then need legal advice to negotiate on a deed of separation which could leave her with a fair bit of money. Do not let her leave that house!

Show quote history

Deed of separation for the unmarried?

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 04/12/2022 20:06

She needs to provide evidence of her financial contributions and she urgently needs proper legal advice. MN is not the place for her situation.

chercez · 04/12/2022 20:08

So who will be telling your mum that this is happening?

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 20:09

Sadly the kitchen is probably the tip of the iceberg in terms of what she has spent, but I mention it because it's one thing she can clearly prove she has invested in. Not so sure how she can prove things in the past.

OP posts:
donttellmehesalive · 04/12/2022 20:10

So she refused marriage, didn't contribute towards the mortgage and didn't put her name on the deeds. I don't know how I'd feel if dp didn't pay the mortgage for decades but then expected a percentage. As pp have said, she needs proper legal advice but I expect he'll be doing the same.

Ihatethenewlook · 04/12/2022 20:10

GetThatHelmetOn · 04/12/2022 20:05

Deed of separation for the unmarried?

Show quote history

Yes. This is for people who are unmarried and have no cohabitation agreements in place. They need to draw up a deed of separation contract to decide how the house value is to be divided, and what their future living arrangements will be.

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 20:12

I only just heard about this from my (erstwhile) stepbrother. We both think my mum's partner should tell her himself, but obviously if he hasn't told her by tomorrow then I will because if it's true he's sold the house she needs to be getting her ducks in a row.

I don't want her to leave the house tonight if she has a stronger legal position if she stays.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 04/12/2022 20:12

What would her share of mortgage/rent have been for the 24 years?

EmmaAgain22 · 04/12/2022 20:14

donttellmehesalive · 04/12/2022 20:10

So she refused marriage, didn't contribute towards the mortgage and didn't put her name on the deeds. I don't know how I'd feel if dp didn't pay the mortgage for decades but then expected a percentage. As pp have said, she needs proper legal advice but I expect he'll be doing the same.

Exactly, if she didn't pay towards the mortgage, I'd be inclined to return what she put in, allowing a figure for work on getting lodgers, and that's it really.

I would think someone not paying a mortgage or not asking for a legal set up to protect their deposit is someone who doesn't want the commitment of a mortgage or ownership. Otherwise, why would they just live in my home under my name?!

berksandbeyond · 04/12/2022 20:14

Let this be a lesson to a lot of naive women on Mumsnet...

LadyHarmby · 04/12/2022 20:14

Mmm. Her not paying the mortgage changes things a bit. She’s essentially been living cost-free. Sure, she’s spent £30K but rent or mortgage would’ve cost her more than that over 24 years.

Managinggenzoclock · 04/12/2022 20:15

I think she would probably need to get a registered interest the house and that she owns a percentage of the house based on her equity of the first house. This is all far from straightforward. She needs a solicitor yesterday (well 25 years ago!). Everything else she had planned tomorrow is unimportant . She needs to get all her documents including any bank statements, emails/texts she has from the time of the original investment and take them to a solicitor.

Whinge · 04/12/2022 20:16

As pp have said, she needs proper legal advice but I expect he'll be doing the same.

He's probably already sought legal advice. OP I'm sorry that your mum is in this situation, are you able to tell her in person tomorrow and help her with the next steps?