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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum's boyfriend kicking her out of their home after 24 years

383 replies

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:44

Just found out that my mum's partner has sold their house and is kicking her out. She doesn't know yet.

They aren't married but she invested £25k into their first home, which they bought for £125k. Her name has never been on the deeds.

They have moved house four times and their current home is worth maybe £800k. She's done loads of DIY and they have also had lodgers that she has done the work for. She paid £30k for the kitchen last year.

My mum's boyfriend's son (whom I have thought of as a stepbrother) has said that his dad plans to give my mum back the £25k from their first house. We are both shocked that his dad is being so mean.

Although they are not married I can't believe that he can get away with just giving her the £25k. If she can prove she bought the kitchen does that give her any rights at all?

Hoping that someone can give me advice on what my mum should do. Is it better if she stays in the house until they reach a fair settlement or is she better to get away as soon as possible?

OP posts:
Blowyourowntrumpet · 04/12/2022 19:45

She needs to get some legal advice ASAP

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:46

Sorry, didn't do the unreasonable bit. Am I unreasonable for thinking she deserves more than her investment of £25k all those years ago?

OP posts:
Seeingadistance · 04/12/2022 19:47

She needs to see a lawyer now!

Ivyblu · 04/12/2022 19:49

Oh deal. Your mum should of got married especially if she was the one to be giving up her home!

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:50

I agree she needs to see a solicitor but it's staggering to think that he can sell her home from under her feet when she has invested so much time and money into it. She got together with him at a time when she was quite vulnerable, and we all thought he was lovely.

OP posts:
Vermin · 04/12/2022 19:50

Who has paid the mortgage?

Pumperthepumper · 04/12/2022 19:51

She’s been very naive here. She needs legal advice.

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:51

I think all the paper work would have been in his name, but she can easily prove she has paid for things like the recent kitchen.

OP posts:
Byelaws · 04/12/2022 19:52

Lawyer. Tomorrow am.

BuckarooBanzai · 04/12/2022 19:53

There is a lot she can do legally. Lawyer up is the answer.

donttellmehesalive · 04/12/2022 19:53

Well £25k was a 20% stake in their first house but I don't know how she can prove that. As they have increased their mortgage, with each move, who paid it? I'm surprised she hasn't asked for her name on the deeds at any point, or to protect her investment. As pp have said, she needs proper legal advice.

TinFoilHatty · 04/12/2022 19:54

She needs to get legal advice quickly.

As a parallel issue, did you (her children) have knowledge of her putting these huge sums into property owned effectively by someone else? I know she is an adult, free to make her own choices, but if the kids knew, why did no one say hang on Mum, run that past a legal bod first, or if not then get bloody married first?

CharityShopChic · 04/12/2022 19:54

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:50

I agree she needs to see a solicitor but it's staggering to think that he can sell her home from under her feet when she has invested so much time and money into it. She got together with him at a time when she was quite vulnerable, and we all thought he was lovely.

The problem is that legally, it's not her home. It's his home and he is allowing her to stay there.

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:54

I don't know if she's better to come and stay with me, or to refuse to leave their home until he makes a more reasonable financial settlement.

OP posts:
Ihatethenewlook · 04/12/2022 19:55

Op mn is the worst place for legal advice, believe me. If you want opinions on the situation, then of course it’s unfair. But your mum needs legal advice asap. And I’d strongly advise her to stay in the house rather than leave. Just thinking about it logically, she loses a lot of legal hold over the house if she’s not even living in it. I wouldn’t be leaving that house until ordered by the court.

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:55

She was resolutely against marriage and has always said one divorce was enough.

OP posts:
TeachesOfPeaches · 04/12/2022 19:56

It's possible that she can make a claim on the home as she has financially contributed to improving the value of the house.

You need to look into establishing 'beneficial interest'.

MandyMotherOfBrian · 04/12/2022 19:57

She may be able to demonstrate that she and interest in the property and that there was a common intention between the two of them that she had an interest in the property. Especially if she has acted to her detriment over the years by relying on this belief. But yes, as PPs said, the only way to find out is get level advice asap.

TinFoilHatty · 04/12/2022 19:57

She was very naive, then. I am sorry.

Chuckiegg · 04/12/2022 19:57

My legal knowledge is about 20 years out of date but I think she needs to register her beneficial interest at the land registry urgently.

bumbledeedum · 04/12/2022 19:57

Google constructive or resulting trusts, they could be applicable.

HomemadePickle · 04/12/2022 19:57

This is a terrible situation and I’m so sorry for your mum - but I’ve said YABU as this is the reality in England if you are unmarried. In NZ, for example, you start to accrue legal rights after 3 years of cohabitation. But this is not the case in England and there is no straightforward answer and certainly no automatic entitlement to anything.

Isittrueornot · 04/12/2022 19:58

She was silly to choose not to get married.
She needs legal advice but the fees will be heavy as I imagine the ex will fight it

Dontaskdontget · 04/12/2022 19:58

It isn’t clear cut. She might have some legal rights to a % of the house under trust law or maybe a promissory estoppel issue, or at least be able to make a strong argument in court then negotiate a settlement, but she needs a good lawyer who knows about equity and trust laws in your jurisdiction.

Anyone on this thread who says that she definitely has legal rights or definitively doesn’t is probably misinformed. This is a classic grey area case.

bellac11 · 04/12/2022 19:59

There is little point people going on about what she should have done. The fact is it isnt her home and she needs advice and all her evidence of the things she paid for out of the various homes over the years.

She should stay put as long as its safe for her

After 24 years what has gone wrong for this to end like this?