Mum's boyfriend kicking her out of their home after 24 years

[heathspeedwell]

Just found out that my mum's partner has sold their house and is kicking her out. She doesn't know yet.

They aren't married but she invested £25k into their first home, which they bought for £125k. Her name has never been on the deeds.

They have moved house four times and their current home is worth maybe £800k. She's done loads of DIY and they have also had lodgers that she has done the work for. She paid £30k for the kitchen last year.

My mum's boyfriend's son (whom I have thought of as a stepbrother) has said that his dad plans to give my mum back the £25k from their first house. We are both shocked that his dad is being so mean.

Although they are not married I can't believe that he can get away with just giving her the £25k. If she can prove she bought the kitchen does that give her any rights at all?

Hoping that someone can give me advice on what my mum should do. Is it better if she stays in the house until they reach a fair settlement or is she better to get away as soon as possible?

There is no such thing as common law marriage. There never has been in England. It's a common fallacy to think that it exists.

As someone else just mentioned and I did above you can register things at the land registry which puts anyone off buying ( a spouse by the way, but not in this case here of unmarried people can register a spouse's right over the marital home whih any Mumsnetter who is married and does not have the marital home in joint names should go and do this week).

Her solicitor can register immediately that she is making some kind of claim over the house based on her contribution to kitchen etc in equity I think but really she needs to go to see a solicitor very urgently.

Even just limiting to £25,000 putting that in an inflation calculator from 1998 brings that sum to £44k after inflation since then.

Of course she can chose to go and not fight be even then should not leave until she has the 25k or 44k in the bank. Also find out the current house value and if advertised for sale perhaps speak to the estate agent.

I’m not a legal expert but … what I DO know, is that when I bought my ex out of the family home, with a mortgage, my adult children - who live with me, were required to sign an indemnity stating that they had no claim on the house. Get legal advice now, but I suspect that they will want to know whether she has ever signed anything of that nature. I wish her the best of luck.

Bloody hell. Your poor mum OP.
I'm marrying DP in a few weeks and mainly because it's prudent to do so (even though I of course hope we'll stay together).
I appreciate that she might feel one divorce is enough but it's always a faff splitting up if there's proper involved. I did it once and it wasn't far off getting divorced in terms of paperwork.
He's properly taking the piss. Sounds like it's a big house. She should move herself to another room and stay until it's all settled. What a horrible thing for him to do.

You are not being unreasonable - your mums partner is. However if nothing is in writing she is unlikely to be entitled to anything. Similar thing happened to me. GET IT IN WRITING, PEOPLE!!!!

It is of no help to your mum but I do hope that people have learnt from your post that there is no such thing as Common Law Marriage. I know far too many fairly educated people who think that it is!

No. There is no such thing as a common law wife. It’s worrying that women are still so uninformed regard this and that it gets repeated every single time there’s a thread like this.
women must make informed choices regard cohabitation and protecting themselves financially

@heathspeedwell not saying for a moment it is. But it will help her to have everything properly documented. It won’t help her to leave him to do what he likes hence suggesting OP or someone stays with her for moral support. It is for OP/OP’s Mum to decide what to do and if they do decide to challenge him, it is better to have done their prep, especially as it is easy to miss things.

@Zone2NorthLondon worrying isn't it. Such naivety makes me wonder how some people even function.

Thank you everyone for the support. I have asked my aunty to come along tomorrow to lunch and I know my mum listens to her so I've got everything crossed that we can help her to feel strong enough to stand up for herself.

OP I really agree with a PP that you owe it to your mum - even if this is personally very uncomfortable for you - to shock her into facing the seriousness of her situation.

You've got to shake her by the shoulders metaphorically (maybe literally too) because she has very little time and it sounds as though she is in actual psychological denial. She's clearly used to putting herself last in terms of this relationship and feeling grateful for crumbs - it must be absolutely painful to watch. If you have inherited any of her low self-esteem you might also find it hard to truly face the enormity of the skullduggery she is facing - but face it you must. She literally could end up homeless in a few years if you don't, and for your own self-esteem you must not get into a situation where it is your job to fix the horrendousness of her situation at the expense of your own family and relationship.

Sorry if this is all unnecessary - I'm just worried by a slightly unusual lack of horror/outrage/panic in your tone. Perhaps you are just a very calm but firm person!

@AlwaysGinPlease bit harsh

natcen.ac.uk/news-media/press-releases/2019/january/almost-half-of-us-mistakenly-believe-that-common-law-marriage-exists/

Almost half of people believe common law marriage. It’s not just a few uneducated people.
Week in week out there’s a post on mumsnet of somebody in a mess due to living as a couple without paperwork in place.

@Havehope21 it's not meant to be harsh it's just exasperating.

As @Zone2NorthLondon points out it's always the same lines trotted out in threads like these. Why are women so unaware of their financial vulnerability in such situations.

As your mum put £25K in for the first house and has presumably never had that £25K refunded to her then maybe she should ask for what that original investment is now worth in terms of house price increases. After all, they could not have continued buying houses without her original investment. The average rise in UK house prices from Q2 1998 to Q3 2022 is 318.78% so her original £25K investment is now worth £104696 so surely £104696 of the current value of £800K is attributable to your mum's original £25K. (the actual increase may vary depending on the specific region they live in). According to the Nationwide Building Society house price calculator.

Bold type fail, don't know how that happened.

What an awful situation. This will be very easy for a lawyer to unravel and resolve.

Thing is, if he’s been married 4 times before then it’s perfectly understandable that he wouldn’t have wanted to be married again. He knew he was protecting his assets. Plenty of women come on here and say that as the higher earner they would never get married again for that exact reason.

And equally many women believe they don’t want to marry again because they want to protect the property for their children. He’s doing just that.
It doesn’t seem right but I don’t see that he’s really done anything wrong here. The OP’s mother is an adult. She knew what she was doing and that she didn’t have any entitlement to his house if not on the deeds, and if she didn’t know that then that is on her. We need to stop blaming others for women’s lack of thought in these matters.

He has said that he is going to give her back the £25k. As several posters upthread said, this is going to cost far more to fight than any potential settlement, even the £25k. If she goes down the legal route she will end up with nothing.

I think the whole thing is massively confused by the fact that their joint 'business' was effectively property development, even though they happened to be living in the properties concerned. You need a good lawyer.

A lot of assumptions & anecdotes exist I genuinely think many people are unaware until an unexpected event occurs. Then,sadly, their assumptions and beliefs are revealed as anecdote and misheld beliefs.

I read a lot of inaccuracies on mn repeated assertively as if fact
change the locks . No. If it’s his house you cannot deny access by this means. If you need to limit access you go to court for an injunction

common law wife, No it’s not a legally recognised status and confers no automatic right

maintenance support when unmarried and split up. No automatic entitlement . This came up recently. A poster C&P about spousal maintenance and presumed it applied to cohabitation too

I don’t think @AlwaysGinPlease was harsh, really it is unwise to passively presume one’s rights. Make informed choices, avail yourself with reliable accurate information.

It won’t be easy for a lawyer to resolve. Claiming a beneficial interest isn’t straightforward and requires detailed evidence. It will cost a lot in legal fees (Solicitor and barrister) as it’s a complex area and potentially go to mediation or court. Not dissuading her from getting proper advice, she definitely should but it’s not a quick easy solution.

Yes she needs to manage her expectations. It is likely to be a difficult/ expensive road potentially at her risk - and that’s even if the solicitor advises if it’s worth proceeding at all. Dh does litigation and always advises clients to avoid it if possible.

I really hope that this horrible situation encourages other women to protect themselves. When my mum gets her head around what has been done to her she will be absolutely devastated.

This won’t be very easy To resolve at all. It’s really unhelpful to make global statements
well meaning but erroneous advice