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Original poster

Mum's boyfriend kicking her out of their home after 24 years

383 replies

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:44

Just found out that my mum's partner has sold their house and is kicking her out. She doesn't know yet.

They aren't married but she invested £25k into their first home, which they bought for £125k. Her name has never been on the deeds.

They have moved house four times and their current home is worth maybe £800k. She's done loads of DIY and they have also had lodgers that she has done the work for. She paid £30k for the kitchen last year.

My mum's boyfriend's son (whom I have thought of as a stepbrother) has said that his dad plans to give my mum back the £25k from their first house. We are both shocked that his dad is being so mean.

Although they are not married I can't believe that he can get away with just giving her the £25k. If she can prove she bought the kitchen does that give her any rights at all?

Hoping that someone can give me advice on what my mum should do. Is it better if she stays in the house until they reach a fair settlement or is she better to get away as soon as possible?

OP posts:
holrosea · 05/12/2022 10:03

Your mum clearly needs independent legal advice ASAP but this site had useful guides :
rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/

Specifially the parts :
Living together
A guide to living together and the law
Owning property jointly with your partner

BadNomad · 05/12/2022 10:08

You need to tell her now. Find out if she signed anything recently to say she would leave the house when it's sold.

Whinge · 05/12/2022 10:09

I've got the day off work and I'm going to get more advice before I go and see her later.

Getting more advice is pointless if you don't know the full ins and outs of her situation. It would be best to go round this morning and see if she's aware of the sale. She may know more than you think.

EmmaAgain22 · 05/12/2022 10:16

heathspeedwell · 05/12/2022 09:57

@EmmaAgain22
They have moved four times in the last 24 years. They would buy a run down house, do it up, rent out rooms as they got them finished and then sell up and start again.

Neither of them have been paying a mortgage for some time - neither of them have had jobs in that time - the properties were their job. So this idea that she's been living rent free and putting money away is a red herring. She came into the relationship with money from her previous house (and her inheritance) and spent most of it on him and his family. I don't know how much she can prove she spent on the houses over the years, the £25k deposit and the recent kitchen are the first things off the top of my head. I did try to advise her against it but she can be quite stubborn, and she was also always so busy!

The £25k he's going to give her back isn't enough for a deposit on a new place but may stop her from getting any benefits. I've got the day off work and I'm going to get more advice before I go and see her later.

This is actually even more of a reason for thinking she must have money put aside. I would get a clearer picture before trying to get advice.

Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2022 10:21

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 05/12/2022 08:16

Again, you are wrong and misinformed. You need PROOF to bring a claim for a beneficial interest, and the OP's mum has none.

Show quote history

She has put a £30,000 kitchen in and has proof of this. Home improvement may be enough to establish a beneficial interest. She may also have proof she paid the initial £25,000. She needs legal advice from someone specialising in this area asap. It will be expensive in terms of legal fees and each claim depends on evidence. It’s not an easy option but with a property worth £800,000 well worth paying for advice.

skyeisthelimit · 05/12/2022 10:21

Sadly your mum has been very silly to have not had part of the house transferred to her name over the years when she put large sums of money into it.

She needs urgent legal advice and should be able to register and interest in the property and fight for a higher share than £25K, but it could take time and money.

She will need to prove the larger sums, that improved the value of the house, like the kitchen.

Her original share was 1/5, and that may have changed over the years as they moved houses etc, but she should still be entitled to at least 1/5 of the current property. But morally and legally are 2 different things.

Who had the income from lodgers and Airbnb?

SomeBeings · 05/12/2022 10:21

What a rotten situation. Hope your SweetTime gets some good advice

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/12/2022 10:23

Perfect example of why no-one should ever expose themself to such risk.

Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2022 10:25

heathspeedwell · 05/12/2022 09:16

@AlwaysGinPlease I think she probably did know but thought it didn't matter because he was the one and they'd always be together. Literally just last week she was singing his praises. Presumably while he was seeing solicitors and estate agents behind her back.

Another thing to think about is her will, pension, death in service etc. If she’s left him money in her will or nominated him as recipient she’ll need to address that. She may of course have only left things to her children so no change needed.

ThatEdgyFeeling · 05/12/2022 10:50

EmmaAgain22 · 05/12/2022 09:39

But it's 24 years...she must have savings because she's not been paying the biggest bill most people have?

anyway, if you can establish the truth of it, you must tell her, but I'm wondering if you ought to talk to him first. Hear it from the horse's mouth.

Show quote history

The improvements appear to have been made by her under that financial assumption. That she had cash

OhmygodDont · 05/12/2022 10:52

The anger at his talking to solicitors behind her back is exactly what we tell women on here to do by getting their ducks in row before showing their hand and leaving. His followed the advice every single person on here would give to a women wanting to leave her partner.

Pascor · 05/12/2022 10:59

Just found out that my mum's partner has sold their house and is kicking her out. She doesn't know yet

No. If it was their house, he couldn't have sold it. It's HIS house.

She is yet another woman who has been incredibly foolish and thrown away financial security, her resources, and her earning potential.

pecanpie24 · 05/12/2022 11:36

If you've lived in a house longer than a certain time, I'm sure you are entitled to half or am I imagining that?

Pascor · 05/12/2022 11:38

Yes, you have completely imagined that.

nettie434 · 05/12/2022 11:40

I haven't got any practical advice heathspeedwell. I just wanted to say that I hope your mum is able to get something that more fairly reflects what she has contributed.

LeilaRose777 · 05/12/2022 11:46

Bank statments - your mother's bank will be able to give her statements going back years and years. She has to ask for them specifically though, usually at the branch. She should then go through them with a highlighter pen marking all the money she spent on the house/him/his children, then mark each page that has an outgoing like this with a post it note. Let your step brother know that she is going to fight tooth and nail for her money - and I advise you to help her, even move in with her if you can. Above all, she must not leave the house. If you/your mum make enough fuss, and put enough barriers in his way, he will buy her out. I think with everything you've said it would be around 150k.

LokiBear123 · 05/12/2022 12:02

She needs legal advice ASAP. She needs to know what is going on now, this is so unfair on her. Tell her what her ex- boyfriend is doing then get her to a solicitor

Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2022 12:03

pecanpie24 · 05/12/2022 11:36

If you've lived in a house longer than a certain time, I'm sure you are entitled to half or am I imagining that?

Totally false.
How the heck would that work. No one would have a lodger, live with an adult step child etc if that was the case.

bluegreygreen · 05/12/2022 12:33

If you/your mum make enough fuss ... he will buy her out. I think ... it would be around 150k

As opposed to simply asking her to leave a house she has no legal right to stay in? Seems unlikely.

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 05/12/2022 12:38

Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2022 10:21

She has put a £30,000 kitchen in and has proof of this. Home improvement may be enough to establish a beneficial interest. She may also have proof she paid the initial £25,000. She needs legal advice from someone specialising in this area asap. It will be expensive in terms of legal fees and each claim depends on evidence. It’s not an easy option but with a property worth £800,000 well worth paying for advice.

Show quote history

She has put a £30,000 kitchen in and has proof of this.

Where does it say in any of OP's posts that her mum has proof of this? That she paid for it?

I do hope that she does have proof, but more than likely she does not. Even if she has proof her scumbag ex can claim that it was a gift.

704703hey · 05/12/2022 12:47

I'm sorry but what a wanker to do this out of the blue and try to take financial advantage. Hopefully your mum gets good legal advice, he knows full well that she contributed.

Hope she is not too devastated.

MichelleScarn · 05/12/2022 12:48

heathspeedwell · 05/12/2022 09:57

@EmmaAgain22
They have moved four times in the last 24 years. They would buy a run down house, do it up, rent out rooms as they got them finished and then sell up and start again.

Neither of them have been paying a mortgage for some time - neither of them have had jobs in that time - the properties were their job. So this idea that she's been living rent free and putting money away is a red herring. She came into the relationship with money from her previous house (and her inheritance) and spent most of it on him and his family. I don't know how much she can prove she spent on the houses over the years, the £25k deposit and the recent kitchen are the first things off the top of my head. I did try to advise her against it but she can be quite stubborn, and she was also always so busy!

The £25k he's going to give her back isn't enough for a deposit on a new place but may stop her from getting any benefits. I've got the day off work and I'm going to get more advice before I go and see her later.

So there's not been a mortgage for several years, surely when she's been involved in the purchases she's said, wait a minute I need to be on the deeds too?

Shitfather · 05/12/2022 12:56

pecanpie24 · 05/12/2022 11:36

If you've lived in a house longer than a certain time, I'm sure you are entitled to half or am I imagining that?

Naaaah. That’s imagined, I’m afraid.

Original poster
heathspeedwell · 05/12/2022 12:57

So I talked to her this morning and she is in shock and denial. She thinks that they are going to stay friends and she is going to remain part of the family, so she doesn't want to rock the boat.

She's busy today apparently, but she's meeting me for lunch tomorrow. I'm going to gently try to explain that he's not acting in her best interest.

Thank you so much to everyone for your advice, especially @TooTrusting . I hope I can help her to at least get the interest on the £25k she 'lent' him all those years ago!

OP posts: