Not to feel comfortable with DH putting cameras up all over the house?

[Iwantyourmidnights]

Please help settle a debate between DH and I.

We have a toddler DS who does lots of the usual adorable/funny/unexpected things, and DH keeps talking about installing cameras in every room in the house so that we can capture all of the funny candid moments. For example today he did something funny with our cat in our bedroom while I was getting dressed, I told DH about it and straight away he said 'this is why we should have cameras up!'.

I do kind of get where he's coming from, DS is his first child, he's an absolutely doting father and he loves taking and watching videos of him and watching him grow up. However, I've just started mat leave and before that worked from home full time. I said to him that I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing I was being filmed all day long when I'm at home alone. Especially in our bedroom where we sleep/get dressed/sometimes enjoy, ahem, private time!

DH thinks I'm the weird one and most people would be fine with being filmed 24/7 big brother style. I think he is terrible at empathy and seeing things from the perspective of others, and most people would feel uncomfortable as I do.

To avoid the inevitable LTB pile on, I just want to say I'm 100% certain there's no hidden abusive/nefarious reason why he wants to put cameras up.

So:

YABU - there's nothing wrong with living under 24/7 surveillance in your own home, stop being a weirdo.

YANBU - DH is the weirdo wanting to film every moment of every day on the off chance DS does something funny.

This is so weird and intrusive. It's also stupid because it's not going to be possible to catch all of the cute moments of a toddler with a static camera in a room, so his reasons don't even make any sense.

Every single visitor and tradesperson and family member who came into your home would have to be informed about the cameras. Try explaining to the HV why there are cameras in every room!

It’s really really not common. Do you have a side line in camera sales or something 😂

I wouldn't be ok with it. A couple of friends have cameras in hallways/kitchens for when their pets are left alone but I think that's the most I'd agree to.

Whether he is controlling or just a doting dad, it's creepy and intrusive.

I think that’s very odd. Never heard anything so weird. During a typical day your son won’t say that many hilarious cute things. I’ve got countless videos on my phone of funny things my children said, or sweet moments on the swings or at the zoo. That’s plenty.

It’s not surveillance of family

It’s called a security system.

Although it does come in handy when people do something silly

Yup this is very weird! Maybe one room, but not all of them.

Your husband is sick. Having cameras all over the place is totally abnormal and intrusive. And what is this bullshit about capturing funny moments? Bollocks to that! Don’t let him brainwash you into this crap. And what about your son’s permission? He is little now and has no idea he is being filmed, but might oppose this when he is older. Everybody deserves privacy and your husband doesn’t respect that. If he does this to his own family, I dread to think what kind of person he is. Oh let me guess…controlling and sick.

So what is the benefit of having a camera in every room as opposed to just the entry points?

Why do you need them in the house though? The outside would be sufficient for security reasons

Absolutely no way would I agree to this.

No. It would be a very odd thing to do.

I don’t know one family who doesn’t have internal security systems set up, including cameras.

That includes all friends, family, co workers etc.

A few don’t have 100% coverage but they all have at least a few rooms covered.

Might be a financial thing though.

Honestly that’s fucking weird, who has surveillance cameras up in their home . Eugh

Christ on a bike! There is no way in a million years I would agree to that. It would actually be a dealbreaker for me.

I had a boss (who owned the company) who had cameras at home and work. He used them to spy on everyone and check up on them/see if they were working.

Specifically in a playroom, a dedicated room for a child to play in then maybe ok but anywhere else in the house no.

We have outside cameras and I just forget they are there. Inside I would definitely remember they are there and feel on edge despite not doing anything weird or camera worthy. So your Dh is wrong, very, very few people would be happy with being filmed 24/7.

Very weird OP. Resist!

They tie into our police link, so if someone breaks in the police are notified, they are also then given live updates as to which rooms are impacted, so they don’t waste time when they attend.

They’re also monitored by the alarm company, so in the event of a break in they will live monitor all rooms to ensure if anything happens they can also call for ambulances or other emergency services.

We have an internal security system. Movement sensors activated when the alarm is on.

But cameras, no way. Just unnecessary and intrusive.

YNBU all the time your husband is spending downloading, cutting, editing and watching these videos (I'm trying to think what genuinely funny thing a toddler could do with a cat) he's missing out on actual moments that are happing around him. And no - there no way I'm having my daily life recorded by my partner, absolutely mental.

If you still are not sure if your dh is beung unreasonable

I can promise you right now, the police won’t be guided by your cameras giving a live updates if you have a break in 😂

YANBU. How would he feel if you started taking photos of him every 5 minutes? Or is it ok for him to film you and your child, but not for him?

What kind of hell scape do you live in that you need this level of protection. You’re nuts.

Our security system consists of motion sensors in downstairs rooms and the hall. Only switched on when we are out. That’s it. Why is anything else necessary? Unless you live in a mansion stuffed with valuables.