Not to feel comfortable with DH putting cameras up all over the house?

[Iwantyourmidnights]

Please help settle a debate between DH and I.

We have a toddler DS who does lots of the usual adorable/funny/unexpected things, and DH keeps talking about installing cameras in every room in the house so that we can capture all of the funny candid moments. For example today he did something funny with our cat in our bedroom while I was getting dressed, I told DH about it and straight away he said 'this is why we should have cameras up!'.

I do kind of get where he's coming from, DS is his first child, he's an absolutely doting father and he loves taking and watching videos of him and watching him grow up. However, I've just started mat leave and before that worked from home full time. I said to him that I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing I was being filmed all day long when I'm at home alone. Especially in our bedroom where we sleep/get dressed/sometimes enjoy, ahem, private time!

DH thinks I'm the weird one and most people would be fine with being filmed 24/7 big brother style. I think he is terrible at empathy and seeing things from the perspective of others, and most people would feel uncomfortable as I do.

To avoid the inevitable LTB pile on, I just want to say I'm 100% certain there's no hidden abusive/nefarious reason why he wants to put cameras up.

So:

YABU - there's nothing wrong with living under 24/7 surveillance in your own home, stop being a weirdo.

YANBU - DH is the weirdo wanting to film every moment of every day on the off chance DS does something funny.

No would not like this. Nothing would be private.

They’re given live updates by the monitoring company, we pay a fee for it that goes to the local police.

but do continue to post misinformed crap

Horrible. Also, he's not laid-back, the antithesis of laid-back, from the sounds of it.

If you tell him to GTF, are you not concerned he might covertly install recording equipment anyway?

So you and everyone you know are loaded enough to have MI5 level security (nice humble brag) but not rich enough to just… live somewhere nicer. Right

That’s ridiculous. Millions of people have been able to raise their kids and have happy and funny memories of them without putting cameras everywhere in the house. It’s bloody creepy and a horrible invasion of privacy.

God no! Sounds absolutely horrible. What a depressing way to live being filmed at home all the time just in case you might capture your toddler doing something cute.

You said you have cameras everywhere, implying they are filming indoors too @Vitalsigning
So you haven't answered the question of WHY you do it.
I suspect it's "because I can", as you seem quite dismissive & unwilling to examine your motivations or your family's rights to privacy.

No matter how you dress up the semantics (or try to justify it by, of all things, the decreasing cost) - that is surveillance.
How is it "security" to be filming indoors?
You even admit that you've used it to point out somebody doing "something silly". It's about invading your family & visitors' privacy - not protecting against intruders.

What kind of hell scape do you live in that you need this level of protection. You’re nuts

So glad it's not just me thinking this. I mean, downton Detroit I might understand, but where in Britain is so bad that the poster has to rig her house out like Fort Knox?

And the idea of guiding the police during a burglary.....😅do police actually turn up for those now?

YANBU

i don’t even allow social media in our house. I’m not in it. I don’t allow my children on it

so cameras for me would be a huge no no

@Vitalsigning I'm curious. Are you in the UK?

Certainly where I live, small town Midlands, an automated call to police would be unlikely to result in a response before next year.

Hardly MI5 level, bank level with the police monitoring is what we went for in the end.

Also living somewhere nice is actually a large part of why these systems are needed.

Hardly a humble brag responding to someone asking a question, but I hope you get help for that massive chip on your shoulder.

Vitalsigning burglars are quick, professional and efficient. By the time the police arrives to your house, the burglars have gone and robbed you blind. Most of them wear a face mask, hoodies and tracksuits so identifying them from footage is nigh impossible. If you have cameras at the entry points, surely that’s enough to notice that you had visitors to your house.

Yep, our police response is very fast, had a false alarm last year and they were round in 12 minutes.

Although this does mean we only have 2 strikes left (if you have more than 3 false alarms in a 5 year window you have the police response removed)

Right, I suppose if the burglars nicking the Monet from the 7th bedroom en suite trigger the intruder alarm that's a reasonable rationale for having cameras.

Otherwise, nope it's not common to have surveillance vs security cam. And I'm with the YANBU gang, although the moderate end be creepy and controlling.

Your entire lives are livestreamed to an alarm company @Vitalsigning? You know they just sit there flicking around to see if there's anything they can wank to don't you?

OP - no it's not normal. It's intrusive and weird.

Vitalsigning, it sounds as though you and your friends & family etc are living in fear. Luckily, most people don’t feel the need for constant “security” surveillance, or direct links to the police & an alarm company. Somehow we manage.

OP yanbu, it’s totally unacceptable.

OP I find this whole idea incredibly disturbing. So there would be a live stream of people getting dressed, undressed and every other waking moment on the off chance that a child does something so funny it can’t possibly be missed. This is absolutely bizarre and I have never heard anything like it. If something funny happened are you expected to make a note of the time for him to find this moment or is he going to trwal through the footage every day. This is beyond weird.

Must be nice to just be concerned about being burgled. Unfortunately criminals enter a home for all kinds of reasons, and some aren’t a quick in and out.

I have 1 camera in my house, it doesn’t record and it’s so I can check the drive from elsewhere in the house.

No way would I be happy with cameras in the house watching and recording. I would remove the cameras whilst you are home. All adults in the house need to agree for them to be used, you don’t agree, get rid of them.

Take a wild guess at what I work as…..trust me, any police officer worth their salt will search all the rooms. Even real time updates will have a delay on them.

I assume you have cameras in the toilets and bathrooms then?

The feed starts after a first trigger alarm.

Odd the amount of people with such strong views yet 0 understanding of how the systems work…that’s Mn for you though

Either living in fear or we've got royalty on the thread.

Where do you live where this is common?

It's frankly weird and unnecessary. I wouldn't really believe his motive either. To catch the 'funny' exploits of your child there would need to be several cameras around the room to get the best shot.

Are you planning on being a SAHM?

I think a previous poster had it right. Shades of The Truman Show.

Of course they will search each room, but if they know everyone is upstairs for example that makes it a bit easier on arrival.

It also helps if the alarm has put people off entering further so the police can then respond to a different call or deprioritise.

We’ve had a response before, so know how it works.

Its also weird how you totally ignore the aspect of monitoring from the alarm company in terms of other emergency services, which is actually a massive benefit for the internal cameras.