To wonder why many on MN

[CourtneeLuv]

Are so pedantic, literal and joyless?

Other sites aren't like this

if you were literally and joyless would that also equate to pedantic?
or of you were pedantic and joyless would that mean you are very literal?
if not then move on.

I joined a few Facebook groups over lockdown (under an alias thankfully) there were some truly bonkers people on them and the Admins were so bossy with what was and wasn't allowed. It really was joyless.
I left them and closed the FB account, will not be doing that again.

Seriously?

there's no way I'd give my real name and postal address to any website, but MN hasn't been the best for data protection.

I think a lot of MN users must be admins of facebook groups 😂

Totally agree with this. Our local Facebook group is so aggressive.
If someone posts on there they get (mainly men) responding with "who cares" and "get a life".

It does, and it is.

What if being pedantic and literal is their main source of joy?

EDUCATE YOURSELF OP

Not really, they are just tosspots

I find posts that more or less immediately recommend ‘counselling’ or ‘therapy’ really irksome. It’s often passive aggressive and would only seek to make the OP few guilty. And I speak as someone having counselling myself. Someone will post with an AIBU or worrying about something probably hoping for a bit of a rant and some support and someone will reply with ‘have you had counselling for your anxiety?’ or ‘it sounds like you need to contact your GP for help.’ As if you would ring your GP because one time you had a panic about something and overreacted a bit.

I don't see how you can know that.

Yes, seriously. I'm trying to remember when it was it might have been longer ago than I remember. Possibly before the hacking in 2015 thinking about it.

We were given a number and an address to send the parcel. You didn't know who it was going to, no names (either real or MN nicknames) were disclosed. But I suppose you could check out where your 'number' lived if you wanted to.

I vaguely remember that, although I was not a part of it. I think a few people went a bit overboard with the sob stories in the run up to Christmas in the hope that they would be nominated for gifts, and some people were spending insane amounts as well.

I'm a member of an Australian forum that does a secret santa every year. Trolls are swiftly dealt with and 99% of posters are helpful and welcoming. I think a lot of it has to do with the culture of the site as enforced by the moderators.

I think once the Daily Mail started using MN as an article pit then it attracted the same kind of bitchplopping attitude found on most trash news sites.

I agree with a PP. If you hide AIBU then it's actually a pretty pleasant place.

I've had posts deleted. For no reason at all, except was in disagreement with the pack.

I’d agree that gardening, what we’re reading, weight loss chat are all pretty benign, but chat, relationships, parenting, work/employment issues, education - can all be very unpleasant.

IIRC you didn't have to be 'nominated' if you were buying one then you would receive one (but not from the person you were buying for) but I think you could say you didn't want one.
And there would be no way of knowing if the number you were given was from a poster with a sob story.

It isn't against Talk Guidelines to disagree with the majority. You must have broken the guidelines in another way to be deleted. I still don't believe anyone gets reported and deleted just for disagreeing unless their posts breach the guidelines in some way.

You must have disagreed with 'the pack' in a way that broke Talk Guidelines and someone was bothered by it enough to report.
They don't tend to delete 'for no reason at all', but if you felt it was unfair you could have taken it up with them.

I have known posts deleted for going against the majority. Sometimes, there is a fine line between a minority view and a goady view, but I don’t always toe the MN party line on everything.

Sometimes (not always!) it is a good solution to talk through an especially difficult situation face to face and one to one with someone who has great empathy but is impartial and can help guide the poster to a solution that’s good for them.

Online forums can be of some help but if some of the posters responding are nasty or misguided, I feel sorry for the person on the receiving end and wish them better support!

Going against the majority doesn't breach Talk Guidelines though so there must be more to it.

Oh, sometimes there’s definitely more to it. I mean, if someone posts something racist and huffs about it being a ‘minority view’ it clearly isn’t a minority view, just racist. (Not saying the above poster was racist!)

But I have known MN make errors and I know that it can be quite hard to get those errors acknowledged when it does happen.

But I had not been ableist. The OP hadn't either.

Comments are also removed if they get too many reports

so yes, comments do sometimes get removed for just going against the grain instead of breaking talk guidelines

But I have known MN make errors and I know that it can be quite hard to get those errors acknowledged when it does happen

Everyone will see it a different way so an error to one will be the correct action to another, both the moderators and posters.

It would be interesting to see how this site would be if fully moderated though, I've a feeling people wouldn't like that at all.

If they're getting 'too many reports' then there has to be a reason for that, so it's more likely the whole thread will go for turning into a bunfight or not helping anyone.