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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why many on MN

236 replies

CourtneeLuv · 04/12/2022 08:54

Are so pedantic, literal and joyless?

Other sites aren't like this Confused

OP posts:
christmastreewithhairyfairy · 04/12/2022 10:06

JustAnotherHappyFatty · 04/12/2022 09:16

I'm hopefully not like that but......there are so many threads on here that could be solved by a simple Google search. There are many threads where the OP asks for advice and then disputes for hours why even the most sensible options won't work for them.
There are loads of troll posts and I think some genuine posters get mixed up I those as well.
There are also joyless, pedantic people in real life that use the site!
Maybe a bit of compassion fatigue thrown into the mix as well.

True but the issue is that people speak on here (and the Internet in general I guess) in a way they never would in real life. If a friend or even say work colleague asked a slightly dippy question in RL you wouldn't say "just fucking google it" and walk away. It's sad that it seems acceptable to slap people down like that.
I short - I agree OP.

karendrury · 04/12/2022 10:07

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Lovageandrose · 04/12/2022 10:07

It’s an anonymous forum so it attracts the nutters.

atsusnaiboyz · 04/12/2022 10:08

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I said it to explain why I am literal and why I come across as pedantic.

Vitalsigning · 04/12/2022 10:09

It’s a natural occurrence on forums like this, usually because of the type of person who will typically use a forum in the first place.

A lot of posters on here are lonely, have no friends, are shut ins, hate their partners, aren’t well paid, don’t have good careers and take that out online.

It’s naturally selecting, as most regular users here will be regulars for a reason, because they tend not to have anyone irl to socialise with or discuss issues with.

It’s seen across many subjects on here, people who hate weddings, hen do’s, baby showers, holidays, posters who can’t believe people could invite more than 30 people to a birthday party, people who can’t believe there are many people in professional roles who are paid a lot but aren’t expected to be behind a desk from 9-5. This type of person won’t have many friends in real life so have to resort to online interactions.

Id say 80% of regular posters on here will fall into this category, as most would ask their friends or family for advice.

karendrury · 04/12/2022 10:09

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DorritLittle · 04/12/2022 10:10

Just asked DH if Pistonheads is literal, pedantic and joyless and he said "pretty much".

AccioChocolate · 04/12/2022 10:11

For all reasons stated above I'm not surprised MN is full off knobs. But what really surprises me is that Facebook is full of assholes.

I can see your name. I can see your job. We have 5 mutual friends, one of whom is your wife and you've just made an inappropriately sexual remark and been overtly racist. Do these people not know how social media works?

nailvarheaven · 04/12/2022 10:11

atsusnaiboyz · 04/12/2022 09:50

@AccioChocolate no. It's asking for clarification of an ableist statement.

For the love of god, we get it. You're autistic. So are millions of other people including my DC but they do not use it as a way to dissect peoples comments and make everything about them.

BeyondTheLetterOfTheLawTheLetter · 04/12/2022 10:12

@NatalieIsFreezing are you me?!

Vitalsigning · 04/12/2022 10:12

atsusnaiboyz · 04/12/2022 10:08

I said it to explain why I am literal and why I come across as pedantic.

Show quote history

Stop derailing this post by continually banging on about yourself.

BeyondTheLetterOfTheLawTheLetter · 04/12/2022 10:13

To be fair, I am autistic, pedantic, literal, and pretty joyless 😕

knittingaddict · 04/12/2022 10:13

Sickofcoughing · 04/12/2022 09:59

I often think that about the lack of joy.

A major cohort of posters here seem to enjoy NOTHING. Sex for example is something to be ensured. I rarely rarely hear anyone talking about someone they really fancy in a purely lustful way. If they do they are mocked and scorned, told they are desperate and pathetic.

If someone is insecure about feeling old and unattractive looking there's a unanimous agreement as if these posters can actually see her IRL and know what she looks like.

If someone is upfront about the fact they are generally considered attractive there is an absolute pile-on and they are called deluded.

The same with careers - no cheerful sharing of successes or encouraging each other. It's all working to protect yourself from your husband after he leaves you for a younger model.

I'm glad the MN world isn't my world.

You do realise that people come to mn with problems don't you? I'm not going to start a thread about how much I still enjoy sex with my husband after nearly 40 years of marriage. No one needs to hear that and I don't think it helps anyone who is struggling to say it either.

Generally speaking there's going to be a fair bit of negativity when women come here for help with very difficult situations.

AccioChocolate · 04/12/2022 10:13

I think the me-railing is useful at proving the Op's point tbf.

Pugsbladder · 04/12/2022 10:13

Well said nailvarheaven my thoughts exactly. It gets tiresome.

DorritLittle · 04/12/2022 10:15

It’s naturally selecting, as most regular users here will be regulars for a reason, because they tend not to have anyone irl to socialise with

Most people I know just pass the time in between kid stuff and/or find it interesting.

munnytrin · 04/12/2022 10:19

AccioChocolate · 04/12/2022 10:13

I think the me-railing is useful at proving the Op's point tbf.

Yes it is.

munnytrin · 04/12/2022 10:21

People with autism are all different (I should know) and don't want to be lumped with some people as we don't all share the same characteristics or feel the need to bang on about them.

BeyondTheLetterOfTheLawTheLetter · 04/12/2022 10:21

(I'm joking btw, I am autistic but I'm also capable of self-deprecating humour)

VouisLuitton · 04/12/2022 10:28

I think if you post on AIBU then you have to accept (and expect!) those kind of responses. I’ve found that when posting on specific boards the advice and feedback is far kinder.

Iliveinanoodie · 04/12/2022 10:28

I have hidden a few topics that seem to attract the worst of these problems. It's not perfect, but it definitely helps. 😀

KettrickenSmiled · 04/12/2022 10:30

heldinadream · 04/12/2022 09:00

Because inaccurate, weirdly metaphorical and happy clappy is a pain in the arse.

😂😂😂

DuplicateUserName · 04/12/2022 10:30

Iliveinanoodie · 04/12/2022 10:28

I have hidden a few topics that seem to attract the worst of these problems. It's not perfect, but it definitely helps. 😀

If I was going to hide topics for that reason, I'd definitely start with this one Xmas Grin

Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2022 10:31

Some people in RL can be 'pedantic, literal and joyless' TBF.

Most posters here are just passing the time as they would if watching TV, or reading a magazine. It's a distraction and escape.

Hiding whole topics and individual threads can make your experience better, as can taking a lot of what is posted with a pinch of salt.

Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2022 10:32

DuplicateUserName · 04/12/2022 10:30

If I was going to hide topics for that reason, I'd definitely start with this one Xmas Grin

Show quote history

There were requests in the past to rename the AIBU topic 'Petty Gripes'. Accurate. Grin