If you are a mum/dad family, do you actively talk to your children about different ‘types’ of families?

[Family87]

Do you spend time talking to your children about families that are different to your own- same sex families, adopted children, single parent families etc etc?
do you think your children have the idea that their family is the ‘right’ or ‘normal’ family?

Yeah, DSs both went through primary with kids with 2 mums or dads & looked after & adopted children. We've plenty gay friends. We know families that foster.

So I guess it's not a "conversation" as such. It's just part of their lives.

We just addressed it as it came up.
my brother is gay, he and his finance have been together since before I had children and when they asked about it (usually about 4) we just said that some men love other men, rather than women. Same with single parents - some mummies and daddies don’t get on and they have to live in different houses, but they still live their children.
little children are very accepting of difference much more do than adults.

There are also friends and acquaintances he has who have some disabilities or neuro-diversity. We've had to be very clear that E is particularly vulnerable just for safety reasons, and have gently explained when he's confused by behaviour that maybe F sees some situations a bit differently. Generally I prefer not to highlight differences unnecessarily, and I think little kids notice those differences less than the adults do.

No. They knew all types of families, so it really was 'normal' for not everyone to live with a mum and a dad, no need to make a big deal of telling them it was.

No but we have people in our family that are adopted, gay, most of their friends parents are divorced and they have half and step siblings, some have never met their dads. They know it's all "normal"

Yes, but mostly because there is a little girl with two mummies at DD nursery so it was an opener.

Also, DSS lives with us full time but goes to see his mum every other weekend, and so that led to a conversation about how not all children live with their mummy and daddy all the time.

I don't know if I would have broached it yet if things hadn't happened that allowed me to discuss it naturally (rather than specifically sitting down and raising the subject) but I would probably have raised it with a book or something.

Hi

No just explained the practical, financial and biological complexities of being a single parent of gay parents, that will be experienced by that child.

Ultimately it is always easier to be a heterosexual two parent family so explaining the difficulties of doing something different (which isn't obvious to kids who don't understand why a child doesn't have xyz) helps them understand as it arises.

I don't give an opinion either way - just explain thinfs as they come up.

No, but 5 year old is being taught at school that “girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys” so apparently there’s no need!

Yes…the dolls house figures aren’t mummy, daddy, etc. but the man, lady, etc.

If we see a child in the park and they refer to the child’s ‘grown up’ as mummy or daddy then I’ll just say remind them that it could be a grandparent, aunt, etc.

I have a step daughter though so I’ve always been conscious of explaining about different families.

No. Both have a child in their class with 2 mums, and several with single parents or separated parents, so they know there are lots of types of families and I've never felt the need to discuss it with them.

That's not to say I think things should be more difficult - hopefully within my lifetime things will even out

No, because he’s three and it’s not necessary.

DS’s Godfather is openly gay and engaged to his male partner. And DH and I have been to two same sex weddings, and referred to their weddings in front of DS.

We’ll say more like “some children live with two Mums” etc as and when it comes up. We have so many gay friends that it’ll all be very matter of fact - I don’t believe in stage managing these things or over thinking them.

I will never lie to my children though - I don’t agree with or believe in gender ideology and identity, so I won’t humour that nonsense at home. And DS will always know you physically need a man and a woman to make a baby.

We discuss different families since DS was about 2 (he's nearly 4). It's not made into a big deal because it's not. We are simple and straight forward about it families come in many different shapes/sizes/types they are all families.

We have a mix of friends family set ups from adoption to gay couples so for us it was answering questions in a age appropriate way and then build from there.

What's the difference between boys and girls? Boys can piss standing up without needing physical aids, I guess?

Thank you for kindly pointing out my inadequate answer to my 5 year old, it's not something I'd given much thought to but she needed to know urgently when she spotted that one of the school Dads was wearing a skirt and make up.

I didn't really fancy going into the whole thing with her because I know my understanding around trans issues isn't perfect. I'm more than happy to hear balanced, child friendly explanations if you can help?

No, this is our normal, mum dad 2 kids, if they ask I'll explain that others have their normal.

No, because I was a single mum until she was 3, I wanted her to grow up and know that there is no right or normal, as long as a child is loved and cared for.
I didn't want DD to think that she would need to stick it out in a relationship that didn't work, especially for reasons like DV etc.
I hoped it would empower her.
I then realised at 7, that we don't really know what our children will grow up to be, we don't know their sexual orientation. So I started to talk about couples and families different to our own in that respect.
It's turned out to be the right thing, as DD thinks she is bisexual, leaning towards being more attracted to females than males. She's always said how it was never a question of if she would be supported and loved still.

I think it also helps prepare them for the world outside of our home.

My DC have grown up understanding that families come in all shapes and sizes. I grew up in a single parent family. Out of my 4 closest friends, two are single parents, one is a lesbian and married and they have children. My kids never really questioned any of it. We never made a big deal of the fact that X doesn’t see their Dad, or Y’s parents don’t live together or Z has two Mums. It’s just life.

They’re teens now and pretty chilled and non judgemental.

No, not sure why I would? Families coming in different shapes and sizes seems the norm now, so I’m not sure what good pointing out the blindingly obvious is.

‘Some men wear women’s clothing. But they are still men’ is how I will explain it 🤷🏼‍♀️

They knew about adoption from a very young age because they have an adopted cousin a few months younger than our eldest.
They knew about fostering because we fostered.

They knew about children with special needs because we lived in special schools.
They knew people died sometimes and left families without a parent because they altar served at funerals from about age 9 or 10.
They knew some of our friends were gay.

That said, we’ve always adhered to the view that children are best born into and raised in a loving, marriage (gay or straight) where the parents offer security and a lifelong commitment. We believe casual sex has consequences that negatively impacts on others and that hedonism isn’t good for society or for individuals.

It's never come up in conversation here, so no. I think I might have unusual children though, because none of them have ever asked where babies come from either.
I get fun questions like what will happen when the sun implodes, and such like!

I do when the situation arises. It’s best they accept different scenarios at a young age so there’s no judgement in later years.

I've never specifically gone out of my way to talk my kids about it. But I have always made a point of saying something if it has come up. So if they are reading or watching something, or if they ask a question.

Yes, often. They have cousins and friends with same sex parents or in single parent families so from my DC’s earliest days we’ve talks about it very openly whenever it’s come up. It’s very normal to them.

Yep, fairly often. My brother is adopted and we have single mums and lesbian and gay couples in our family and friends groups so that helps as it's all very visible to our kids