If you are a mum/dad family, do you actively talk to your children about different ‘types’ of families?

[Family87]

Do you spend time talking to your children about families that are different to your own- same sex families, adopted children, single parent families etc etc?
do you think your children have the idea that their family is the ‘right’ or ‘normal’ family?

This

What’s not age appropriate about explaining about different families that your children will undoubtably encounter?

Yes I do, as I remember when both my kids were about 2 when they started saying stuff which made it clear that they assumed all families have 1 mummy and 1 daddy. So I wanted to nip that in the bud pretty quickly. These days they both know families come in all shapes and sized.

some boys choose to live as girls and some girls choose to live as boys when they're grown up.

How do you live as a girl?
Answer without resorting to stereotypes and able to include the wide breadth of all girls women please.

My children have learned this through life. There’s always been friends from different types of families, as well as in our immediate family. We’ve never had to have a formal chat.

Thanks everyone for your answers.
i go out of my way to talk about the different types of families that other children may have.

i think it’s extremely important and not just something children should be left to observe on their own especially if they live in the typical nuclear family.

i also think it’s important to explain about difference races, disabilities, specialities, genders etc etc

I don’t. However, in her class, there are 2 adopted children, 3(inc twins) with same sex parents & quite a few with single parents so when we speak about them, we (she) speaks like it’s normality so I’m happy with that. I don’t want to talk about it for her to think it’s different in any way. I just want her to accept it as just perfectly normal.

Absolutely. My friend fosters so the kids know that they're not her bio kids.
My 3 DC have 2 dads between them.
Etc etc

We had a book called the Family Book when DD was little that someone gave her. If I recall it mentions lots of different family set ups. She was aware some people have 2 mums, separated parents, or no father around just from friends at nursery and school.

I don't think it needs to be 'a conversation' does it? Surely children work it out by watching TV, being with other kinds of families at school etc, and if they ask questions you can answer them as and when?

Same with the whole 'sex talk' some parents seem to have with their kids. Surely just let it happen organically as and when your children ask?

I’m a single parent and DD’s aunt is married to a woman. Many of my closest friends are single parents and a lot of my friends are gay. DD thinks this is normal and tbh she probably knows more families like this than traditional mum and dad families.

So I have never needed to have a conversation like this with her really.

Never occurred to me too. We are a mum and dad family with 3 kids and all of our family and friends are.
Perhaps i should!!

We often talk about it because that’s life and I’d rather she hears things from us than playground stories that are half truths. A bit easier as my sil is in a same sex marriage and they have a child so that’s their normal and this is hers. Helps open the conversations I suppose. I’m very much about teaching that love means being cared for and respected regardless of it being a family member, friend or partner. I also discuss that not all children have loving parent/s, an extended family that are helpful and supportive, it’s good for them to see the bigger picture and helps build empathy.

Yes, my 2.5 Yr old has a book called love makes a family and I read it to her and we talk about the different families in the book.

Yes but mainly because one of their Uncles is married to a man (no kids) , and a kid in my daughters dance class is raised by a mum & a dad who now tries to socially present as female. So the topic has come up.

No things come up in conversation- eg. My eldest DD said she wants to marry me when older and I said you can’t marry family, then she said will I marry a boy and I said you can marry a girl, more often girls marry boys but girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys. A sit down intense talk about gay relationships, feckless or dead parents isn’t needed imo.

Yes, consciously. I am bringing my kids up in a traditionally minded country, and they would definitely not encounter many different types of families, so I feel the need to actively introduce the idea.

Not really. It’s never come up. We don’t know any gay people so I suppose it’s just not a topic that’s ever come up for us.

What's not age appropriate?

My wife and I are both women. Do you think we should somehow hide that from our own child? Or from his nursery friends?

OP we're a same sex couple so not who your question was aimed at, but we do have books with a range of other family types too. DS is only just 2 so I'm not sure he really understands yet, but I do think it's important for kids to know that there are many different models of family.

@Tigger7654 ;-)

My LO isn’t quite two yet, so we don’t talk about different families in depth (still working on what shouldn’t go in his mouth!), but I do think it’s important.

He has a couple of books about everybody being different, and that includes families. As he gets older we’ll chat about what different families look like.

Absolutely. I have gay married friends and DD said it's sad they couldn't have kids, so I explained that they can adopt.
DS best friend at school is being brought up by two women. Although one is know as mum and the other by her name. So not sure if they are 2 mums! Anyway, DS who is nearly 6 has not asked anything!

I don’t actively choose to have conversations about it: why make it a big thing? But they know some people are attracted to their own sex, and have asked if they can have children still, which I’ve explained. They know some children are in care homes, some fostered, some adopted, some live with their parents, some split their time between parents, some only see one parent. It’s an organic sort of understanding through meeting different people, reading books, watching TV, talking about how our days have been…. No big conversation, but to my dc this is just normal. They don’t expect everyone, or every family, to be the same and I don’t think that they’ve ever been at all surprised by any of the myriad variations they’ve encountered.

Yes.

We've been a nuclear family.
To a lone parent family.
To married again and now a blended family.
My oldest daughter is also gay.

My DC's know families aren't based around structure but love and safety.

I don't recall ever having a specific sit down conversation about this but I'm sure it came up naturally at various points.

The trans conversation did come up once or twice because DD's school had a member of staff who pushed some dodgy info onto the kids which we did have to clarify the truth of but that was about it.