If you are a mum/dad family, do you actively talk to your children about different ‘types’ of families?

[Family87]

Do you spend time talking to your children about families that are different to your own- same sex families, adopted children, single parent families etc etc?
do you think your children have the idea that their family is the ‘right’ or ‘normal’ family?

I'm a single mum and I've never had occasion to take about different types of families

Yup I do. We are a 2.4 kids family so I make sure they understand that families can look different. I grew up in a single parent family which was common where I grew up but is less so where I am now. Eldest is 6.

Are your children very young or why hasn’t that been a conversation for you? Surely you’ve explained that some children have 2 parents, your children have one, some have 2 mums etc?

Not consciously no but I mentioned to my 3 year old the other day that some kids have 2 mummy's instead of a mummy and daddy. Can't remember how it came up. The little shit thought about it for a minute, looked DELIGHTED then asked if HE could have 2 mummy's as he'd prefer that to just having me 🤷

Yep absolutely! Very important as we're a straight 2 children, 2 adults, married family.

No. Her friend has done it for us. 🥴 DD is 6.
She knows some men like men and some women like women and that they may have a child. That’s it so far.

Never brought it up with them.

My oldest has said that some kids only have a Mum or Dad or two Mums, whatever. Never needed to talk to him about it. He just knows.

But of a strange question I think

Yes, my three (all under 7) understand there are different types of family. They are at school with people from single sex parent families for example and they know people who don't live with both parents.

No. If she asks I’ll tell her but no real need.

Yes but eldest DC is gay, another DC has a friend who is adopted, and my bestie is a single parent.

This subject is also usually covered during PSHE at school.

We talk about how some people spend time with their mums and dads in different houses, some people have two mums or two dad's, some people just have one parent, some people live with guardians or grandparents but it's not a forced conversation, usually in response to something she's observed at school or on TV. I find children just accept this as normal and to discuss it in a forced way is to almost make them question that and to make them think they should think a standard mum-dad-children family is normal if that makes any sense?

I'm a single parent to 2 DC, who are coming up 5, and, yes, we've discussed different types of family.
My children don't need to know or think that their family is 'normal' or 'right': they know who their family are, including their Dad's side, and that's it.
🤷

Yes I have had many conversations, not sit down and talk conversations but just chatting.

We’ve never made a big point of it, as I think that would imply that it is a big deal. But we have certainly mentioned on enough occasions about people having two mums or dads, some children are adopted etc. The only thing is, my DC don’t actually know anyone from a family that isn’t a mum and dad together, so have no context for it in their own lives.

Yes but mainly because their cousin is adopted so we had to explain to him. He is 4

Yes. We are a relatively 'normal' family (whatever that means!) and have always thought it important to teach about different types of family.

Yes. Fortunately they already have friends with families with two mums or two dads that they've made at nursery/ school so actually they brought it up themselves.

Yes I do. And we have all sorts of families in our acquaintance circle. Single, same sex, mum and dad., adopted,
living with grandparent. Very conscious of normalising all different types so it’s not unusual and undoing sadly the work of a preschool teacher who told the kids same sex people couldn’t get married 🤯

Yes I do.

I also make sure that I have lots of books around with all types of families in them too. I really try not to make my house too heteronormative.

My kids know that some of their friends family's are different to ours, that seems plenty for their age. I've never deliberately brought it up or discussed hypothetical family set ups.

Not exactly but they know lots of children in blended families and we’ve never labelled those arrangements as being different/less desirable, and the children just accepted the arrangements without questioning. Always been very open about homosexuality and that some people fall in love with someone the same sex so they marry etc.

I didn’t sit DD down to have a conversation about it but over the years we’ve had opportunity to discuss different issues… my sister is a single parent for example. My friend had a child on her own through IVF etc. Another friend is of Indian Caribbean heritage… it all gets discussed.

I do with my six year old. One of his friends lives with a foster family so we've discussed that. We've also discussed same sex parents, I can't remember how it came about now.

Yes, from the point that we could have sensible chats with them (about 3 or 4) we have talked about different relationships or different types of families.

So when they say they want to live with mummy and daddy forever we tell them that's fine, but they might want to live by themselves or with a boyfriend or girlfriend (I have 2 girls).

When they play if they both want to be mummy I always let them know that some people have 2 mummies so they can both be mummy in their game.

We then do the "some people might have 2 mummies, 2 daddies, 1 parent, some people might grow up with grandma/other relative, etc etc"

Not all at once but we cover off kids without families, kids in care, adoption, fostering etc.

Don't throw all the info at them all at once but just naturally drop bits of info into normal conversation scenarios.

We were a mum/dad family and now divorced so she knows about that. She’s 11 so aware of LGBTQ stuff. When she was little she once said she couldn’t marry a girl and I corrected her and she thought it was like her Great Aunties… but they are actually spinster aunts who live together not a couple so it was an explanation. One of her primary classmates had two Dads and as far as I know it never caused comment. My sisters husband is the father of only one of my sisters 2 kids…

I think these days kids come across a lot of options for families pretty early and I certainly have never heard DD claim ours to be Right/Normal.