Lived experience re racism on Mumsnet

[lightlypoached]

People on a now suspended/ soon to be deleted thread may know why I'm posting this. I was going to post it there but will start a new (soon to be suspended /deleted I'm sure) thread here instead.

At work we did some 'lived experience' sessions where people openly talked about their everyday experiences of sexism , racism and homophopia. The idea was for everyone to listen to the truth of what was being said, and to learn from it. The 'rules' were that you weren't allowed to challenge someone's story as it is their experienced truth. Questions were welcomed and we all learned a great deal. It was a real eye opener.

It helped me to be more aware and to look out for the more insidious words and actions, so that I would not unwittingly do them, and could call others out if I spotted it.

If ever I see racism on here I'll report but the point is that many (a large majority I suspect) of us are white so we don't always understand or see racism (that's a bit shit, but honest).

I think that some 'lived experience' sharing would help immensely. We could have a one-off special thread that would be allowed to refer to content of old threads as well as real life so we can hear specific types of comment that are problematical, and get under the skin of why. Strict rules on contributions though and no debate - all about listening and learning. We could have that as a pinned thread for people to read and learn from.

Is that a daft idea or could it work?

I'd like to be on a site where everyone feels at home , listened to and respected.

So AIBU to suggest we have a one off lived experience thread about racism ?

So if any woman cries rape we must believe them but if a non white person cries racism we don't? Explain please

I've become suspicious of this kind of exercise in the workplace, because the event becomes the activism, and a replacement for meaningful change.
I'd also like to be on a site where everyone feels at home, listened to and respected; but I don't think that's possible on a forum with open membership, so I consider it a work in progress.

Where has anyone said that?

It's a fact.
He called me love and asked if he could help me change my tyre.

What are you disputing?

If I said it's raining, that's a fact.
I didn't say why it was raining. That's an opinion.

I really hope you are never on jury duty! You have repeatedly demonstrated your difficulty with understanding the difference between facts and opinions so I will leave it there, as I have neither the time nor inclination to explain things to you over and over again.

Can you tell me what you think is fact and opinion in my statement?

That ship has sailed OP I'm afraid

From the moment a cause is used for justification of toppling statues and getting people fired for 'microagressions' a lot of support will be lost

People have a duty to look out for their own and try to change things that affect them and their family personally. Nobody is owed 'allyship' and the way activism has been conducted in this matter is wrong IMO

I'm also not a fan of 'no debate' in general

If I tell you something happened, it happened.
A man called me 'love' and offered to help me change a car tyre.
That happened. It's a fact

People also have the ability to lie. There's a reason why the word 'lie' exists. The current trend of forcing others to accept things at face value is worrying

I’d love to see the police trying to get a witness statement out of that poster:

Couldn’t tell you if it was a man or a woman, officer, it would be purely opinion.
The weather? Wouldn’t like to say.
What did the offender do? Well, that would be conjecture.
Time of day – not in a position to say it as fact.

Another one who should never be allowed near jury duty.

I would never dispute the fact that Ireland was indeed colonised, exploited and denigrated. Your boss reporting you to the police and referring to you as “it” is horrific.

‘Irish’ however isn’t a race so anti-Irish sentiment/actions/etc isn’t racism. It is discrimination and a specific kind of xenophobia, but not racism. You should be able to share your experience as discrimination.

“People have a duty to look out for their own”

care to expand, in this context?

Would you enlighten us all then with your opinion then?

It’s in the same vein as your “if the lived experience of PoC should be considered then so should that of paedophiles and KKK members”

no?

Ooops there you go again, policing what people can and cannot share as their 'lived experience'. Your hypocrisy is quite impressive. No hint of self awareness.

what about what I said is denying her lived experience? you’re the one confusing things

damn, bit the bait AGAIN

No, I don't think anyones' reported 'lived experience' should just be assumed to be accurate and without nuance. Hence my query to @pocketvenuss because I can't see where anyone has suggested that a woman who 'cries rape' (their words) should just be automatically believed.

You have literally directly told her that her belief that it was racist is wrong.

care to expand, in this context?

Who do you consider your own? Would you look out for those who don't share your ethnicity? Everyone, without exception?

White guilt?!? Bloody hell. That's a new one

Only if you live under a rock or are a time traveller.

All right Lawrence.

@dollymixtured Thanks for confirming that I was right to stay silent when my workplace wanted people to share their stories.

I do struggle with why my skin colour makes my ‘lived experience’ invalid even though my country was colonised, and impoverished and starved by the British Empire.

I even left that job because of what I consider racism - and what the Equality Act would define as racist as it classifies based on race, ethnicity or nationality. It did not matter what my qualifications were or how good I was at my job, I was Irish, therefore guilty.

@SomebodyMcSomebody I think your experience is totally valid and you shouldn't be afraid to share it. Skin colour isn't the only marker of racism.