To think it's not on for H to eat dds chocolate.

[Bogiesaremyonlyfriend]

Dd started her period yesterday, first one. I bought her a massive bar of galaxy as a little gift as she was a bit upset. She has had one line of it last night and taken one in her lunch box for school today as a treat. Husband has eaten all but one line of it, do over half the bar. I'm furious and think it's massively not on. He thinks it's chocolate and was left out so fair game.... He knew the reason for the chocolate and that it was something special for her. Dd2 knew not to touch it and hasn't even asked for any as she knew it was dds little treat and not for her (if she'd asked dd1 would def have shared)

I wouldn’t leave expensive alcohol out. So that’s a bit of a silly post but this is AIBU, silly posts are the norm

Ask first. Always.

More fool you then, how possessive some of you are over food is just wild.

How ridiculous to hide alcohol from your own adult children.

most people will drink some of their parents’ expensive alcohol at some point.

I'd have eaten him if he touched my chocolate 🤣
He should definitely replace it, that's not on. Especially the reason why you got it for her.

Is a galaxy bar expensive now?

this thread is too funny, typical MN

@Bogiesaremyonlyfriend

"I have never and would never do that. Honestly, I'd never take something that wasn't mine. Not from anyone, she isn't lesser than me just because she is my child. I'll ask and we share things but I'd never eat it while she was out at school. She is 12 not 2 she is going to know it's gone"

Exactly. It's someone else's property. This is made worse in that it was part of acknowledging her first period. It's a bit of a rite of passage.

(Also your children will be able to look after most of their needs at this age if they visit their dad. Also at 12 if she doesn't want to go she's very unlikely to be made to).

Fuck me. I told him I was angry he ate dds chocolate. In response he took the very last line and chewed it really loudly close to my face just to prove he could. He told me what's the problem she can just get some more. I told him it was special for her and he said "well are you refusing to get her some more"

Is he a sociopath?

I'm beginning to think so. I'm literally shaking with anger that he could do that. When he asked if it was a problem there was so much malice in his voice and face.

He’s horrible, but you know that already. You plan on getting rid of him, I hope that’s soon for yours and your children’s sake. Short term, replace her chocolate but let her know what her father did. Ling term, get him out of all your lives.

Greedy bastard.

Well he’s a cruel bully but I expect you already know that.

Not read whole thread but soeed up your plans to leave if you can, clearly he isn’t above deliberately upsetting your children as a way to get at you.

This is actually scary. He probably didn't even want the chocolate, just wanted to assert his authority over you and dd. He doesn't see you as equal to him in any way.

I hope you can get out of this relationship as quickly and as safely as possible OP x

Christ he's one scary fucker.

Proper cunt, isn't he? I hope you can leave soon, OP.

Wanting that level of control is just scary. You don’t eat other peoples gifts unless they give you permission. It wasn’t a chocolate bar it was a gift.

Apologies if someone has mentioned this as I have not read full thread but this is so similar to another post made a while ago about a partner eating a tin of soup. It was indicative of huge problems but that poster got away and as far as I know is now doing well.

Might be worth a search op

Is there anything practical we can do to help you leave him OP?

Any resources you could be directed to?

I remember your thread about the keys and also your little girl's crème egg.

Every day they are forced to live in a home with this cruel and spiteful abuser is another day they are being damaged.

Especially at such important ages. The DD this thread involves is now soaking up this dynamic even more than she will have previously and it's being normalised.

She thinks this is what a normal relationship should look like and what a normal dad behaves like. It's positively setting her up for abusive relationships in her teen years and beyond and I know that would break your heart.

I know you know that already but you've had lots of support since spring this year (that I can remember) and have said many times that you feel stuck even though you want it to be over.

What can we do to help?

I honestly don't know. I mean this has pushed me massively because it's gone from being me to being my child and that has really made me angry in a way I haven't been before. So maybe that will be the driver. I'm working on it in therapy!!

@Bogiesaremyonlyfriend I wonder if you re- read your old threads would it help give you perspective? I only remember your key one, but there have probably been others. It's one I check in on every once in a while to see if you've updated it because I'm worried about you - it's bizarre, here I am really and truly worried about a stranger who I only know through my phone. I wish I could come take you and your DDs away from him and that house.
You were so close to leaving before, but he's ground you down so much you can't see the woods for the trees. You're like the boiled frog, it's gone on so long you don't even know how bad it is.

Please, please, really consider leaving. It'll be the hardest, but best thing you'll ever do.
💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

I no it’s no that simple.but your still doing the abuse of the previous threads just in a different guise.
you will say this next time.he will hurt you again,or them. But the trouble is even if indirectly he already has been.
if it gets psychical will it be once he hits the child? But then you will stay.somehow you will.
working through it in therapy although incredible and brave is not working to leave.not actively like you need to be from this man.

When I read your first post I knew there was more to this than a bar of chocolate.
I'm sorry to say I was right and what a hateful bastard he is.

I don't really see the big deal. Maybe the dh's upbringing is different. Whatever I buy and put in my kitchen is for everyone in the family we don't have our own stuff, anyone is welcome to it.

I see how she will be a little disappointed to see the chocolate gone but it's no big deal we can get another one. I definitely would not leave my husband for this I might just send him out for some more when he goes out.

Haven't you read the thread ?