To leave dh alone with the baby all day tomorrow without telling him

[reddyt]

Dh has gone to sleep in the spare room after our argument tonight, which I have told him I hate!

To top it off, this now means he gets a lovely nights sleep & I am left to do night feeds alone!!!

Im honestly thinking tomorrow i will take our other ds to school, then swan off to the shops or somewhere, leaving him with the baby & not telling him.

I am fully aware this is probably a childish response but this is just where I'm at.

Do it? Or don't do it?

Don't talk rubbish!

It would've been a barrage of LTB!

Of course there would have been plenty of LTB. But there would also be posts excusing and justifying his behaviour

But in this instance, he's gone 10 foot across the landing.....everyone knew where he was.

So, he is not wrong and going out and not telling your OH you're not coming back all day, is wrong.

Is he supposed to know if he's doing afternoon school run etc?

Of course, he could've trumped OP, taken the DC, gone and stayed in an Airbnb for the night.

Made her sweat?

I said no one can adeptly manage their own anger

unless you “help them adeptly manage their anger” @Melloyellow1983

so we all need shudder @Melloyellow1983 in our lives to “help us adeptly manage” our anger because “no one can adeptly manage their own anger”! 😂

@Feef83 you are tedious. “help them adeptly manage their anger” is not a quote from what I’ve said. You’ve made it up to fit your argument. That’s really weird.

I’m not going to waste my time trying to communicate with you any more. There’s no point.

Final point. You have been depressingly predictable. You’re exhibiting all the behaviours that you were criticising the OP for - proving a number of my points. Thank you

No one can adeptly manage their anger.

a direct quote @Melloyellow1983

😂

Followed by

I am pretty adept at helping others manage their anger

So you say people can’t manage their anger

but it would seem with a bit of help from @Melloyellow1983 … problem solved!

@Feef83 thank you for clearing that up. As you can see, me being adept at helping someone isn’t the same as making the person adept at doing something. I never claimed to be able to do that. I shared what I did for work to emphasis the difficulty in managing one’s own anger. Moving the words I said around gave them different meaning so thank you for correcting.

I’m not going to waste my time trying to communicate with you any more.

🤔

You seem to forget what you wrote in previous posts!

Why would you even say that to OP?! You’re attitude on this forum towards a person you don’t know is disgusting.

Not sue what you did on Friday as you didn’t come back to update

but if you are tired then you sleep in spare room tonight and he can do all the night feeds

how old is baby and how often waking

YABU In not telling him, although not wrong for demanding some time out. Tell him you're going and it's because you need a break - not that it's retaliation for his behaviour. Don't use your baby as a weapon.

I think it ok for u to have time by yourself,but it is very childish to not tell your husband. No idea why you would do that?🙄

I can see leaving him with the dirty dishes but not a baby. That sounds irresponsible to me.

Sounds like you both need to grow up

Have you heard the phase “talk” also if he works isn’t it more reasonable for you to be up doing the feeds .I’m assuming his the provider and works and you look after your dear baby all day . If that’s the case then yes YABU . If you both work then you both need to talk , don’t play stupid games involving your baby

I’m late to this… I’m so hoping you said
“F’ you!”
and went out for the day

This ⬆He is presumably a capable adult or OP wouldn’t even be considering this & also the parent… he’ll cope 😝

Instead of hijacking reddyt's post, why can't she tell us what she did do? Did she really leave him with a baby without telling him when or if she'd be back? It must have been one hell of an argument for her to do such as cruel and childish thing!
Are you really leaving this post in the air reddyt?

@Dee876 Whichever parent goes out to a paid job and whichever parent stays home and looks after the baby both are working.

So, both parents need sleep and both parents should be sharing or helping each other with the night feeds and resettling the baby.

Both parents should work as a team to ensure that each gets an equal amount of sleep and adequate breaks.

If you’re not breastfeeding, why not? Do it. Book into a spa for a few hours. Pull over in a lay by with a book. Whatever you need.

Don’t do it out of anger, sounds like you are both tired

So long as you are sure he is aware he is responsible for the baby (ie you don’t leave with the other kids without checking that he is still in the house and hasn’t just wandered off on his own mission)

I remember it so well and it’s very tough. Nerves are jangling. Blood is running hot. I drove off and then…. I had nothing to do all of a sudden, except walk around the shops and drink coffee. So the problem was I spontaneously had the free time I’d craved but I’d forgotten how to spend it.

Far better, find yourself a regular amount of time away. He has the kids every Friday and you do figure skating. Or spend it with friends/family. Or a creative MA (which is what I did). Then he gets the opportunity to grow and get in a routine and learn to spend time with his kids and you get to find what you want to do. It’s win win.

Good luck. You really deserve time to yourself - just don’t weaponise it and devalue yourself. Make it really work for you .