To be proud of my son for standing up to his bully?

[Spreeofthemoment]

My DS is in y6. One boy in particular has been making his(and a few others) life hell he’s it wanted to go to school because of him. Well today, he snapped and floored this boy after he came and pushed DS over(he’s always pushing him!). This boys nose was bleeding. I got a call off the head and told him I won’t be punishing my son and that I’m proud of him for standing up for himself and showing this boy he won’t be bullied anymore, as clearly the school weren’t doing anything to protect my son!

What dreadful behaviour. I’d be ashamed.

Well done to your son!

...I would also be very proud of him x

Well done to your son! I am sure he won’t be bullied any more!

Yeah I’d be fine with that.

What's shameful about standing up for yourself? Why should bullies get away with it?

Well done to him. Schools seem to do absolutely nothing about bullying, which goes on over years, and are then surprised when the person snaps.

@MolesOnPoles yes you would be ashamed if your son was the class bully making others lives miserable

No, I’d be ashamed if my son used violence.

Has the bullying been reported previously and not dealt with properly? If so, you could tell the school that it's all their fault. Most people can only be pushed so far.

Good on your ds!
The school will no doubt punish your ds (I hope they punish the bully too!) but I’m glad you’ve made it clear you will not be punishing your ds. What did the headteacher say when you said that?

I hope they haven’t been overlooking the bully’s behaviour all this time and now see the bully as a big poor victim and your ds the bad guy. That’s sometimes how it goes 🙄🙄.

Good for him! Bet he doesn't do it again

I'm on the fence here @Spreeofthemoment so I haven't voted. 'Two wrongs don't make a right' and all that. Also, violence never solves anything. Even if someone 'started it' with violence. I can't condone what your son did.

As opposed to just standing there and taking the violence? Nah, fuck that, you need to set boundaries and sometimes those boundaries need enforcing. With as much force as needed.

I've done/said the same OP. There's a constant stream of advice about standing up to bullies but unfortunately we don't always act calm and reasonable. You know the back story, perhaps the teachers don't. But well done for supporting your child. Obviously you need to go careful that you don't promote physical retaliation as I'm sure you do.

I've got second hand proud vibes going on here OP. I was bullied throughout school and never stood up to my bullies. I'll bet the bully doesn't do it again.

Can’t blame the kid. If an adult was winding me up and pushing me over I’d snap and give them a slap too.

My ds was bullied at secondary school.. Including shoved in front of a bus. One day ds hit him. Wasn't bullied again.
Years later another ds moved school in secondary.. New kid getting grief... My lovely ds shocked me by head butting the lad.. The lad actually shook his hand and all was well. School backed off with any punishment.. Ds never had anymore trouble.. Sometimes ime it is the best way.

Well done to him, I’d be proud of him too, and I bet he doesn’t get bullied again.

YABU

Its a shame you haven’t taught your child how to be confident and stand up for themselves without resorting to violence.

I'm proud of him too. Physical retailation is the only thing that stopped my school bully. It was great.

Get lost with your snidey post about a child who has been subjected to constant bullying. I'm sure your kids (if they exist...) are perfect and can solve everything with reason and debate (in which case send 'em to the Kremlin, they're nedded there).

Good for him. Those of us who have been victims of bullying know that often the only way it stops is by the victim fighting back, and hard.

It's certainly not true that schools do nothing about bullying, but there are limits to what they CAN do. They have to consider both sides of a story fairly, bullies are sly and will always find ways to get to their victim when there's noone around.

The law recognises the difference between violent attack and self defence, and everyone has the right to defend themselves. The school will peddle the "violence is never the answer" line but you're right to ignore them because sometimes it actually is. I'll bet your DS gets no more strife from this little toerag ever again.

Have you got lost on MN?

The OP asked a question, people, myself included answered.

Weird you think that posting in AIBU means no one can vote YABU

It's a shame that your son has been put in the position where he feels that this is the only thing left that he can do.
I really hope the bullying stops now. It's a horrible thing to experience.
I would probably say to my son that violence is still wrong in any situation, but highlight that he had been failed by it not being stopped before it got to this point.