To be proud of my son for standing up to his bully?

[Spreeofthemoment]

My DS is in y6. One boy in particular has been making his(and a few others) life hell he’s it wanted to go to school because of him. Well today, he snapped and floored this boy after he came and pushed DS over(he’s always pushing him!). This boys nose was bleeding. I got a call off the head and told him I won’t be punishing my son and that I’m proud of him for standing up for himself and showing this boy he won’t be bullied anymore, as clearly the school weren’t doing anything to protect my son!

I was bullied in primary school. Eventually I snapped and flattened one of the bullies. My mum went ballistic at me when word got back to her but I wasn't bullied in that school again.

First week of secondary school someone tried to shove me around, a dig in the stomach ended that idea. Never had another problem.

YANBU. I don’t buy the violence solves nothing line. I tell my son that he should always ask for help from a teacher if there’s one nearby, but that if someone hurts him and won’t stop and there’s no one to help then he should hit them with whatever it takes to stop them.

Why?

The only person who should be ashamed are the bullys parents.

I hate this narrative that bullys can get away with it,but the minute they get a taste of their own medicine the school suddenly spring in to action.

Had the same with my D's,he was much bigger than his peers which meant he was picked on.
I was sick going to the school.
One day D's snapped and punched the bully.
He was never bullied again.

Maybe she has but some kids like this bully still fucking carry on???

I'm a big advocate for self defence, I was taught boxing by my dad when I was young and my 3 yo DS is good at boxing already. Bullies need to be put in their place.

^ Likely to get the shit kicked out of you with that attitude. What do you propose, a sit down meeting?

OP good for him. No he shouldn’t have had to resort to violence, but schools do nothing. I know two teachers and both have said you have to stand up to the bully and hit hard. Just ensure your son knows it wasn’t really the right way to handle things going forward. Fingers crossed he will never be bullied again.

It shouldn’t be this way, but it is.

My friend’s DD did the same. A lad, twice the size of her, had been bullying her for months, made her life absolute hell, and despite numerous complaints the school did F all. One day he pinched her glasses, so she lost her rag and decked the little bastard. The school rang my friend complaining, and she just said, ‘well you did nothing about it so good for her for sticking up for herself.’ Friend gave her DD a reward. Perfectly sound parenting decision imo.

i’ve always told my DS, the least aggressive, least violent person you can imagine, that you never start a fight, but you jolly well finish it.

Its a shame you haven’t taught your child how to be confident and stand up for themselves without resorting to violence.

Oh and you’re gas lighting OP with that comment too.

I am not sure I would feel proud as such. I might feel angry with the school (depending on how it has been dealt with to date), upset with the other boy (who had driven my child to this), possible relief that it might be over, fear for my son (will there be retaliation?) and anxiety (will my child learn that violence is the answer?) I don’t think I would feel pride.

i would however give my child a big hug, listen and be completely understanding about him snapping.

I hope this ends for you all now.

@TicketToParadise absolute rubbish

Aye, everyone knows bit of witty repartee will stop some cunt from beating the shit out of you.

Back in the real world people are allowed to defend themselves.

Absolutely agree with this.

Some of the responses on here sound like something from Eastenders or one of those real life magazines ("Oi'd givvim a slap too").

Classy.

Sometimes people need talking to in a language they understand. My DS was punched by a violent kid in Y1. He smacked him one back and was never bothered again. The boys who didn't fight back, on the other hand, were subjected to three years of kicking and punching until this kid was removed from school. One of them even had his front teeth kicked out by this boy. My DS was never touched after he fought back. So I think your comment is sanctimonious and ineffective.

Well done to your son. I suspect that, as most bullies are cowards, your son will have no further trouble.

And it’s a shame your parents didn’t teach you not to be a gaslighting, passive aggressive little turd but here we are.

Yes it’s very estate school playground in these comments

Sounds like the bully got exactly what he deserved.

Has it been confirmed by the school that this other boy has been bullying your DS? I only ask because I work in a school and see many incidents at break times, when we talk to the children involved they will always blame the other etc. When I then speak to the parents about it they will almost always say something along the lines of "ds said this boy has been picking on him non stop" when actually the reality of what is going on is much different and it's normally a 50/50 split of who is in the wrong.

Good for him!

I'm sorry that the school didn't sort this out before he had to resort to this. I hope that this is the end of this.

Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. I wouldn't have a problem with what your son did.

Good for your son. I wish I’d had the courage to do the same to my bully (well bullies).

Proud of your son! Love that he did that

Absolutely believe in never start a fight, always finish one. Well done to your son. Pacifism is great unless you're getting your face smashed in.

Good for your DS. I bet the bullying stops now!