I know I am but this child was talking non stop for 45 minutes

[Eastie77Returns]

Went to a cafe with a friend this afternoon. A woman came in with 2 children aged about 5 who sat next to us. One of the children spoke loudly non-stop for the entire duration of our stay. It was loud enough that my friend and I couldn’t hear ourselves speak at times and when I say non-stop, the child did not stop at all.

On a few occasion child’s mother made a gentle shh sound but otherwise just stared into the middle distance. If we hadn’t ordered food we honestly would have left earlier. The talking was not the problem really it was the shouting and screeching “MUMMY DID YOU KNOW..” constantly. Loud child placed her hand over the mouth of the other child when that child tried to speak and shouted over her. At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop. Mum did not intervene. The people on the other side got up and moved to another table at one point - sadly we were too slow to do the same.

We left as soon as we’d finished eating and got a coffee at another cafe nearby.

Flame away but oh my fucking god. AIBU to be really annoyed that the parent did nothing to stop this annoying child??! And yes, I have DC. One is very chatty and I would not have permitted this kind of loud behaviour.

Chatting isn't necessarily bad behaviour from a 5 year old.

I would love to see the OP living with a child like that 24/7. You have no idea what is going on in her life.

I had a non stop chatterbox (ASD spectrum, if it makes a difference) and an abusive marriage. No family around. Years of no sleep.

It was HARD. Sometimes I did let DC talk to strangers just to have a break. (Not for long as I felt guilty)

The only thing the woman in your anecdote could do was leave. Some children don't do as they're told. (But people refuse to believe that, until they have one).

I have two such children. No one deserves their private information.

One day when I'd picked my two up from school, we walked back with one of the other Mums and her son apparently talked incessantly to me.

I say apparently, because I hadn't noticed. He just seemed a bright, interested in the world, little boy. Bit like DD2 - and how my mother had described me. But his Mum was thanking me for being so patient with him and saying how difficult it was for her 'because he never stops - in all my years teaching Reception, I've never known any child to be like it'.

It's a matter of perception - if you've never experienced it or don't have a brain that is constantly pinging thoughts and ideas and questions and tangents and whatnots 21 out of 24 hours a day like a pinball machine in a powersurge, you can't keep up and, for those people, I can see why a) it's annoying when it's somebody else's child, so you're not contractually obliged to be nice to them, but can't tell them you're actually a witch who is on a diet so you're trying to only eat one child a day today and you're saving your appetite up for the noisiest, most fidgety and talkative child you meet and b) if it's your own, the idea of them doing it to somebody else for ten minutes is going to feel like a holiday in your own head. Even if they do tell little Harry that they're a childeating witch in the process...

No one said they want complete silence but the experience shouldn’t end with a full blown migrain either.

I don’t blame you. Plus why should the dc feel they need to be explained to every adult.

She's probably immune to hearing it. And of course ever has different tolerance levels.

if the mother was just staring into the distance it sounds like she was just trying to have a short break and zone out for a bit.

if you want quiet stay home or go somewhere which isn’t child friendly. You can’t dictate other people’s volume in a public place, especially children x

Another fine example of absolutely shit parenting. If they can't control their children they shouldn't be allowed to wreck everyone else's day.

She is probably losing the will to live.

Well, she needs to do something about it. And allowing one child to put a hand over another child's mouth (siblings?) is appalling.

Yes, it's tough for the mother, but why should this suffering be inflicted on other people? No-one else asked for it & her children are her choice.

@Eastie77Returns described being shouted at by this child for 5 minutes non-stop. I think I would have said something VERY sharp to both child & mother. A 5 year old is old enough to start to be asked to take some thought about the situation they're in.

I don’t understand why parents don’t do something in this situation. It’s so important to teach kids about having an inside voice and teaching them about volume control. You can’t just be shouting in a social place non stop. I’d be annoyed too

As mentioned in my initial post: there was one spare table but the customers sitting on the other side of this child’s table moved to it. They kept glancing at her and were obviously equally annoyed. I also mentioned we would have left but we’d already ordered food. Once we’d eaten we did just as you suggest and left to continue our afternoon in peace in another cafe.

I took the time to post here about something that annoyed me as I thought that’s what AIBU was for. I didn’t realise annoying children was a banned topic.

Howled at this 😂

I have a student that doesn’t stop talking.

Literally from the second he wakes up, in between eating and drinking and until his melatonin kicks in at night. (I wouldn’t be surprised if he talked in his sleep tbh).
He has a timer and has to stay quiet during those times to give the other kids a chance to get a word in and he’s moving about on his seat like he’s got ants in his pants.

Not long ago I was with 3 other staff and he was chatting on like he does. He asked us a question and none of us answered and he kept on answering over and over and we could hear him talking, see his lips move but not register what he was saying.

He thought it was hilarious but we felt awful.
But it’s really easy to just zone out and I remember doing it with my DD too when she would ramble on about peppa pig or something and you just naturally start thinking of other things and just hear them in the background.

I agree. I have a 1 year old. Obviously she young and she is going to scream but that still doesn’t justify me taking her someplace public and letting her scream her head off and just expecting others to deal with it. That is so entitled. She is in a screaming phase at the moment especially when she sees cats or dogs. She screamed in a cafe and I told her calmly and gently “if you are gone to scream then we will have to leave and you can’t have your donut.” she stopped immediately. I gave her a toy to distract her while we waited for our order. I don’t have a five year old. They are clearly in a very different developmental place but surely there are options then simply suffering through it if a one year old gets it?

I used to tell mine when she was little, that she only had 1 million words to last her whole life, so if she didn't want to run out by the time she was (whatever age I felt would work), then it was best she saved a few and kept quiet for a while. Worked a treat. DD is an adult now and got a throat infection recently and lost her voice. She sent me a text " I've run out of words mum" 😃

Best answer ever 😂

If she was silent with an ipad in front of her for 45 minutes, surely you would be probably judging for that too.

Eat inside your own home.

YABU - there’s plenty of times I’m in a cafe or restaurant and there’s a gobshite adult I wish I could tell to pipe down, but they don’t seem to get judged as much as children do.

I also have a child who can occasionally be a gobshite! I have to just try and ignore it because it if I tell her to be quiet, she will usually get louder. The mother probably needs a break.

Why on earth is it 'entitled' to want to go out with a friend and have a pleasant chat over a meal without interruption and disruption from someone else's' child?

The parent should have at least TRIED to intervene

Silly question. If your child ignores you asking them to quieten down, why wouldn't you take them out?

She isn’t like that in public, she saves it for car journeys or bedtime. But my original point stands.

Apparently if your child’s answer to asking them to be quiet is to become louder then that means you should just stop trying. 😂

There is no reason for a parent to abdicate responsibility by saying that’s just how they are. A parent’s job is to teach their children what is appropriate. When my children were small I never allowed them to bother other people when we were out. I taught primary for many years and found that some children had not learned basic manners at home but were able to quickly learn when there were standards expected in the classroom.

YANBU they need to learn what's appropriate where