I know I am but this child was talking non stop for 45 minutes

[Eastie77Returns]

Went to a cafe with a friend this afternoon. A woman came in with 2 children aged about 5 who sat next to us. One of the children spoke loudly non-stop for the entire duration of our stay. It was loud enough that my friend and I couldn’t hear ourselves speak at times and when I say non-stop, the child did not stop at all.

On a few occasion child’s mother made a gentle shh sound but otherwise just stared into the middle distance. If we hadn’t ordered food we honestly would have left earlier. The talking was not the problem really it was the shouting and screeching “MUMMY DID YOU KNOW..” constantly. Loud child placed her hand over the mouth of the other child when that child tried to speak and shouted over her. At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop. Mum did not intervene. The people on the other side got up and moved to another table at one point - sadly we were too slow to do the same.

We left as soon as we’d finished eating and got a coffee at another cafe nearby.

Flame away but oh my fucking god. AIBU to be really annoyed that the parent did nothing to stop this annoying child??! And yes, I have DC. One is very chatty and I would not have permitted this kind of loud behaviour.

I have a child like this (adhd). I do try to get him to tone it down when we’re in public, but I can’t just stay in the house forever to please other people.

The poor mother is probably exhausted.

I've been the parent of an OTT young child and it's extremely difficult. Don't think she's not aware of the issue and nor aware of your judgement. There's only so many times you can ask a child to be quieter or to stop doing something before you lose the will to live.

You could have taken the opportunity to tell the child if they could whisper quietly for 5 minutes you’d give them 50p

I have 3dcs, middle one is loud as fuck.

We are constantly reigning her in when it comes to public places.

OP its hard sometimes, the mum should have been more in control but be thankful its not your daily life as it is hers.

My DD1 was like this! I remember being on a nearly silent coach in Majorca on the transfer to the airport to go home. It was night time and people were tired.

I had the pleasure of sitting next to her and she chatted non stop.
Me: Let's see who can be quiet the longest. The winner gets 20p!
Her: OK...<slight pause>... oh, I'm no good at this game. You win!
Me: 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

She was only 5. She's 15 now and we're lucky if we can get a grunt 😂.

DD2 was the absolute opposite.

Oh god I have a chatter box 5 year old and my nephew is currently here who is also a chatter box 5 year old and I'm about ready to jump out the window.

When we're out and about I do try and shush them and tell them to use their inside voices, but 2 5 year olds rile each other up and they just become the human embodiment of a din.

She probably left the house to try and get some normality and be around non-shouting kids while completely forgetting/not realising that she is just inflicting the cacophony on other people.

I think that you are being unreasonable.

You're in a cafe, a kid is talking. What is the issue?

The kid was talking to her?

If I’m in a cafe and a random kid starts talking/shouting at me for several minutes, I’d expect the parents to intervene. Surely? How is that unreasonable?

The child wasn't talking to OP. The child was talking to its mother. Read the post!

Why is she "entitled"? She's talking about the volume and the unrelenting nature of it, and the mother not intervening. I'm sure most people expect children to chat.

🤣🤣 Brilliant! I’m going to bank that one!

The mother ah she’s zoning out stage rather than losing it. Probably for the best

Oh i got the 'wrong end of the stick' - I thought it was the original poster's child who was talking to HER. Obviously if your child is constantly talking to another person who is enjoying their time having a coffee then that should be stopped!

"At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop."

Maybe you should read Op's post.

How do you know this child doesn’t have a heating impairment? This could be my child who does have a hearing impairment! Maybe try and show a bit of kindness towards the mother and the child instead of being so ignorant.

@BertieBotts

Quoted from the OP…..

At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop.

I think you’ll find the child was talking to OP-why don’t you try reading the post?

The child wasn't talking to OP. The child was talking to its mother. Read the post!

I've read the post. The child was talking at her mother for most of the time but 'bellowed' at OP for five minutes too.
The trouble was, I gather, the child wasn't chatting, she was talking loudly at people non-stop. That's why it was so unpleasant.

Hearing impairment even 🤣 we’ve all got heating impairments at the moment! 🙈

But the majority of the time the child was talking to people within their own group. Those posts made it sound like the child was talking to strangers for 45 mins.

No of course YNBU

Is it really in doubt?!

This used to be my DS. He wouldn't stop or lower his volume! I did get death stares and a lot of tutting I recall. Now he's older, he still has to keep up a constant stream of conversation but at a normal volume thankfully. He has ASD, not saying that kid has it but he's obviously got some issues and the Mum has learnt to zone out.
It's annoying for you but think how the Mum feels, she has it constantly.

The issue is that it's unpleasant, ruined the experience of being there, and the child's mother could have prevented that.

Poor woman is probably like a zombie and tuned it out. But YANBU.

It does sound annoying, but I bet it's more annoying to live with.

If it was as simple as parent tells/asks/threatens/whatever child to stop and they would stop, then probably she would have done that. The fact that she did not, especially combined with the OP's description of "staring into the middle distance" suggests to me that it is not that simple.

Why does MN always jump to the conclusion that random child's parent must be a blibbering idiot who had not already tried this most obvious of approaches?

😂😂😂

Reminds me if a friend who told me she almost cried with relief when she was admitted to hospital as it gave her a break from her DC

So it may not have come across in my post but I do sympathise with the child’s mother because I cannot imagine how exhausting it must be to live with this child. And if I hadn’t been meeting an old friend for what was supposed to be a pleasant catch up I wouldn’t have been so annoyed. I honestly don’t mind chatty kids and I can usually tune them out in public places. It was just the incessant chatter and then the non stop questions about my book. At least she now has an impressive level of knowledge about Jane Eyre.