I know I am but this child was talking non stop for 45 minutes

[Eastie77Returns]

Went to a cafe with a friend this afternoon. A woman came in with 2 children aged about 5 who sat next to us. One of the children spoke loudly non-stop for the entire duration of our stay. It was loud enough that my friend and I couldn’t hear ourselves speak at times and when I say non-stop, the child did not stop at all.

On a few occasion child’s mother made a gentle shh sound but otherwise just stared into the middle distance. If we hadn’t ordered food we honestly would have left earlier. The talking was not the problem really it was the shouting and screeching “MUMMY DID YOU KNOW..” constantly. Loud child placed her hand over the mouth of the other child when that child tried to speak and shouted over her. At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop. Mum did not intervene. The people on the other side got up and moved to another table at one point - sadly we were too slow to do the same.

We left as soon as we’d finished eating and got a coffee at another cafe nearby.

Flame away but oh my fucking god. AIBU to be really annoyed that the parent did nothing to stop this annoying child??! And yes, I have DC. One is very chatty and I would not have permitted this kind of loud behaviour.

She's certainly taking the easy way out allowing her brattish sprogs to be so obnoxious, I assume that had some sensible person told them to Shut up she ,might have joined the human race.
Mums do need to realise that they may think their prodigy 'cute', the rest of humanity sees them for what they are, very very ordinary.

So, by that reasoning let’s just let our kids do whatever the fuck they want because they’ll ignore it?!

Pro parenting strats right here!

Love the excuses from other poor parents. The mother should have made some effort.

Yep, that is exactly what I’m saying! My child talks my ear off sometimes at home, so OF COURSE I’m saying she can do every single thing she pleases! 🙄

Sometimes as a parent you have to say enough now, i need you to be quiet for 10 mins. It is not being cruel; it is teaching them that the whole world does not need to hear them.

You had to put up with this for 45 minutes. The parent and other members of the family will have far more as a result of this lack of intervention. The child may struggle at times to make or keep friends if they talk so much. Imagine what they will be like as a teenager.

What you witnessed was not good parenting.

No, I wouldn’t be judging her for that.

I don't let my child with sn talk loudly at strangers in cafes and I don't know anyone else who would. A quick chat maybe but not to the point the stranger has to ignore my child in an attempt to stop them from talking. I wouldn't just ignore the loudness either even though it is hard to get them to use inside voices sometimes

Even if your child has a hearing impediment it's no excuse to let them talk at strangers who are trying to enjoy their coffee and their own chat with friends

She definitely should have dealt with the sibling situation, that’s not helping the other dc. But just chatting well cafes are like that

For the part where the dc talked to the op just respond in a way to not continue

I would be very annoyed too tbh. I probably would have done the same as you and not said anything though

My son has hearing issues he does this from time to time I zone out too there are only so many times you can say "indoor voice please" "ok now you need to take a breath" "try using your mouth for eating" "mummy's ears need a rest so let's tone it down" reality of what I'm thinking? Will this child EVER FUCKING SHUT UP I've also been know to think eight years of speech and language therapy and this is where it gets me it was fucking quieter when he grunted and pointed

OMG you have just reminded me of interminable car journeys with DD between the ages of 5-10 (ADHD/ASD) where we would announce, as if bestowing a great treat, that we were going to play "Who Can Be The Quietest?" and she could be the judge and set the rules. She's hyper-competitive so she just loved that, and she never sussed it out... iirc it had its own theme tune and everything 😆

YABU - children chatter all the time!
My little DGs do NOT stop for breath.
Nothing you can do I’m afraid x

😂😂😂😂 (of course. What if they don't? Will you hit them? Electric shock?)

I can imagine how annoying this was, but it’s not only children who do this. On so many occasions, meals out have been spoiled by groups of adults talking unnecessarily loudly. I have thought about joining in their conversations, as it has been almost impossible to carry out my own 🤣🤣🤣

My youngest is like this. Non stop stalk and no volume control. I often have to ask him why he's shouting and he'll turn it down for a bit. He's 15 now, we've just come back from the shops where I had to ask again as he was going on about whatever gaming console and games he's into very loudly.

He is autistic and has ADHD.

I felt for the mum when you said she was gazing into the distance. Probably trying to remember what silence was like. My son even talks in his bloody sleep! 😂

YABU

you have no idea if that child has a disability, autism, Asperger’s etc.

the mother may just be worn out from it

try and empathise that moan

Children do chatter all the time but it is surely the parent’s (or grandparent’s if they are in charge of the children) job to control the volume of their voices when in a public place. If l go to a café with a friend, I do not want to have to contend with someone else’s child who does not know how to behave in a public space. It is not the fault of the child but of the adults who have not taught them simple good manners. It seems that more and more the children rule the roost and adults almost seem to be afraid to correct them. I would not like to go back to the days when children were to be seen and not heard but there is surely a happy medium. A reminder before entering an establishment that indoor voices are to be used is surely not beyond the realms of possibility. For those of us who are hard of hearing, background noise can make it extra difficult to hear at all.

On a few occasion child’s mother made a gentle shh sound but otherwise just stared into the middle distance.

Am I the only one who feels for this mum 🤣. I know a kid like this, feel for the mother, she has given up.

Well at least you had fun judging another mother! But I note that you feel that nobody on this thread is allowed to judge YOU.

YANBU and I certainly would have asked the mum to ask the child to tone it down……or possibly even spoken directly to the child. It takes a village.

This sounds like one of my children

She is 4 and I suspect has ADHD. She talks incessantly, constantly and loudly and nothing I do makes a scrap of difference.

I do draw the line at talking directly to other people in public if they clearly don’t want to be part of the conversation, but I can’t exactly stop her from talking to me or my sisters, as annoying as that might be for those around us.

Sometimes you just have to accept people are the way they are. You were in a public place, and therefore had to put up with the public (which includes loud and annoying young children).

Not all of them!

Every time I read threads like this I feel sorry for some of the posters who seem to get so stressed and angry by day to day encounters with the general public!

In real life I don't know anyone who gets that annoyed by sharing spaces with other people on a day to day basis. I just don't have that much energy to expend getting mad at loud conversations etc. Or as a teacher maybe I've got a higher rage threshold. Who knows!