I know I am but this child was talking non stop for 45 minutes

[Eastie77Returns]

Went to a cafe with a friend this afternoon. A woman came in with 2 children aged about 5 who sat next to us. One of the children spoke loudly non-stop for the entire duration of our stay. It was loud enough that my friend and I couldn’t hear ourselves speak at times and when I say non-stop, the child did not stop at all.

On a few occasion child’s mother made a gentle shh sound but otherwise just stared into the middle distance. If we hadn’t ordered food we honestly would have left earlier. The talking was not the problem really it was the shouting and screeching “MUMMY DID YOU KNOW..” constantly. Loud child placed her hand over the mouth of the other child when that child tried to speak and shouted over her. At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop. Mum did not intervene. The people on the other side got up and moved to another table at one point - sadly we were too slow to do the same.

We left as soon as we’d finished eating and got a coffee at another cafe nearby.

Flame away but oh my fucking god. AIBU to be really annoyed that the parent did nothing to stop this annoying child??! And yes, I have DC. One is very chatty and I would not have permitted this kind of loud behaviour.

I totally agree that you deserve to eat your lunch in peace. That mother should go somewhere appropriate. Next time tell the staff to discreetly tell the mum that you need to discuss a gynaecologist issue and you can’t hear each other when talking quietly due to the child in the next table. Then 5 mins later say omg the itching is terrible 😂😂😂

YANBU, but the fact that the Mum was staring in to the middle distance implies to me that maybe the daughter has ASD or hearing problems, and the Mum is probably exhausted.

Or she may just be a neglectful parent, but I hope not.

Ah yes, this sounds like my DSS whom I strongly suspect is ASD. He talks VERY loudly about things only he is interested in. When he was 5-6 years old this didn’t seem that incongruous. Now he’s 13 it’s starting to become quite obvious he is just different to other children. He still loudly talks about his interests in a sort of fact-delivering way. There isn’t much two way dialogue. It’s loud. It’s impervious to other people. And yes, it’s extremely annoying. Unfortunately my DP has always thought him rather charming! So he allows this to continue thinking everyone else must think how wonderful and charming this all is. It isn’t. I wonder if this child you speak of is ND and the mum is so used to it she doesn’t think to intervene. I don’t blame her. It is difficult being parent of a ND child (both mine are ND) but I also don’t blame you for finding it bloody annoying!!! I have to leave the room when my DSS is in full flow. Though my DP still finds this utterly charming in every way. Sadly I do not. And nor does anyone else…..

A child was talking in a cafe?!? I don't know how you coped in such a horrible situation. Thoughts and prayers.

@Dinodigger the kid was talking to the OP and her friend while they were having lunch and the mother didn't move her away. How is that acceptable.

Yes, letting her get away with putting her hand over her sibling's mouth is a pretty good indicator of what the sibling's life is like.

I love this 😂. I remember having 2 under two and going to the dentist for root canal treatment. He told me that I was the only patient he'd come across who had slept soundly through the whole process.

I was bloody exhausted, and that dentist's chair was so comfortable... 🥱😴

Yes I think yabu. I had a child with ADHD & it was extremely hard work, I was on the brink most of the time. I once went to a GP surgery with my other child who was unwell, & had to bring DD - then 2 years old, who was hard to manage. There was no toys books etc, I felt the judgement from the other people in the surgery. I could not manage both sick child & ADHD - loud, running around. I was hoping that one person in that surgery might ask if they could help. No-one.

Anyway, a few days later I got a call from the surgery, another patient had complained about my DD, (hasten to add that DD didn't do anything terrible, just pretty loud & annoying). The surgery basically barred her, at 2!! I pointed out that there were no toys to help distract DD but they just didn't want her going back. This is an unusual response from a surgery though. I never experienced anything else like it since ( now all my children have grown up).

I have a lot of sympathy for parents with difficult children, I know they're annoying but you have to feel bad for the parents.

Maybe the child has adhd (or aspergers) and talking is the only outlet in a small confined space (cafe). Imagine if they started running and jumping to let off steam.
I agree, the mother should have tried to have a 2 way conversation with the child to control the volume and flow. especially when their child is interrupting strangers who are trying to have a peaceful meal. But I wouldn’t be annoyed about it

my child talks obsessively and enthusiastically about a subject and he needs to get it out. bottling it up would mean it comes out in other ways, I.E. a meltdown. he does understand an inside voice , calm manner and not to cover someone else’s mouth whose trying to speak.

Unless you have that child with misunderstood neurodiversity needs then the world would be a better place if people weren’t so judgemental.

when I see the parent as you described - withdrawn and lost in their own world , I only have sympathy as they’ve not learnt the tools to cope. Imagine it’s hard at home too

I don't know where you have got the idea that a poorly behaved child must automatically be autistic.

On point with my post. How shocking for the surgery.

You are NBU because you didn’t DO anything about it. It’s fine that you left.. your call. If you had spoken up or reprimanded the child/mother you would been BVU.

There but for the grace of God etc…

@Dotingmumandgranny .. and don’t know where YOU got the idea that the poster’s use of the word “maybe” means she thinks they MUST be autistic?

My professional experience shouts (pardon the pun) ASD/ADHD however. Also the probably exhausted mother who was picking her battles

YANBU. But then I've realized that I don't actually like children at all in general. I love my own DD, but other people's kids...no thank you. Yes, I'm a terrible person.

Your professional experience enables you to diagnose a child with ASD/ADHD on the basis of my post?

What do you do for a living?

But there are adults only spaces.
I believe they are called pubs. Maybe the OP should have gone to one if she wanted a child-free zone.

I think this is my daughter 😂 I often zone out for my own sanity

Let me guess, autism "wasn't around in your day"?

Most pubs allow kids in the day.

Validate my perfectionism to myself😂

Yes but most have an age limit. Some pubs won't allow parents to bring children under 10.

Posters quoting me saying that I must have Victorian attitudes and be totally lacking in both compassion and empathy need to grow up. You have no idea what you’re talking about. However, I’m not surprised to read it.
I don’t discriminate against disability, but I hate selfish, lazy, entitled people who have no consideration for others.
Specialist schooling can be really helpful for certain conditions, much more so than subjecting children to constant bullying and harassment in mainstream schools. There are many on this group who will agree that this is a major problem despite supposed or real interventions.
Obviously I don’t condone caning of deaf children - you may be amazed to know I don’t support child sacrifice either!

Wow do you polish your parent of the year awards on an evening!?
I don't " give up or give in" to my daughters autism I understand it, I nurture her and hope the adult world will do the same, I shudder to think the implications of being so strict her natural impulses are reined in, the long term effect of this can't be good
It's sometimes easier ( lazier) to shout at or restrict certain behaviours than it is to encourage and accept !

Nah, kids have ruined pubs as well. And some twat had their kids running and shouting around the steam room and sauna at my gym the other day.

Unless it is a specific play area, kids should be well behaved. Cafes, pubs and restaurants are not playgrounds.