I know I am but this child was talking non stop for 45 minutes

[Eastie77Returns]

Went to a cafe with a friend this afternoon. A woman came in with 2 children aged about 5 who sat next to us. One of the children spoke loudly non-stop for the entire duration of our stay. It was loud enough that my friend and I couldn’t hear ourselves speak at times and when I say non-stop, the child did not stop at all.

On a few occasion child’s mother made a gentle shh sound but otherwise just stared into the middle distance. If we hadn’t ordered food we honestly would have left earlier. The talking was not the problem really it was the shouting and screeching “MUMMY DID YOU KNOW..” constantly. Loud child placed her hand over the mouth of the other child when that child tried to speak and shouted over her. At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop. Mum did not intervene. The people on the other side got up and moved to another table at one point - sadly we were too slow to do the same.

We left as soon as we’d finished eating and got a coffee at another cafe nearby.

Flame away but oh my fucking god. AIBU to be really annoyed that the parent did nothing to stop this annoying child??! And yes, I have DC. One is very chatty and I would not have permitted this kind of loud behaviour.

I don't think you are being unreasonable OP. However, I do feel for the mother, maybe the mother was really tired and didn't have the energy to get in it with the child. You mentioned about staring into space - I am neurodivergent and I need that time to process, usually I tell my child and he understands. But it took us a while to get here. Kids at that age don't shut up no matter how much you ask them to, indoor voice is a good idea but sometimes as a mum its a choice between having a bit of coffee and handling a tantrum. I know you've every right to be annoyed and upset, but maybe she didn't have any other choice.

You are not being unreasonable for being irritated by this child when you just wanted a quiet lunch and chat with your friend, whether that child had additional needs or not.

Lol! Kids aren’t they just annoying can you imagine how that mom feels being with the annoying child 24 hours a day

YANBU

Children will never learn to use 'inside voices' unless they are told to. I would've been incredibly annoyed by a shouting child on a nearby table dominating the room like that.

I live next door to a family who don't have 'inside voices' and it's infuriating. I've accidentally answered their kids calling "MUUUM" before now.

Can you imagine what sort of adult that child will grow up into? A politician! (Sorry)

Classic lack of parenting or lazy parenting.
She should have left or moved.

Some children are chatty, but it's the parents' job to make sure they are quiet whilst eating in a cafe or restaurant.
It's not hard. Many children attend church services, where their parents expect them to behave well for the duration of the service.

I think parents with loud children are too used to it, and don't realise how it is for others.
A local child who has been in my sons class for years, just can't stop talking.
I have never seen his parents suggest he does, but they largely ignore it.
He needs help with those social skills as other kids find it offputting too.

My son doesn't apparently need to breathe and can talk incessantly for HOURS. Thankfully, he likes colouring and puzzle books so these live in my bag at all times just to get some peace. In that situation, in a crowded cafe, I would have tried my best to keep him quieter. You have my sympathies. I would have hated that.

@LunchBoxPolice you shouldn’t keep him at home at all. I agree with the OP it’s about ‘trying’ to ensure an indoor voice. That’s it. I struggle with parents who say nothing but expect everyone else to accept screaming or shouting nor running into me with a scooter!!! Just try.

My daughter is Autistic and she does this, she talks for hours about one subject , she knows she's doing it and even appologises but it's something she has no control over! Maybe that's why the mum, who must have been exhausted, didn't tell her more firmly to shush

There could be a number of reasons he was so loud. Hearing problems, autistic, social issues.

Mum stared into the distance? She is "used to it" and doesn't hear it anymore. She is at the end of her tether and is just going through the motions. She has no back up so no break.

Some parents don’t believe in curbing this sort of behaviour and think it’s good for the child’s development. It’s all about striking the right balance clearly this child at some point will learn that when the parents aren’t there from somebody less tolerant.

I hate all the "she should control the child", you are aware that they are human too and allowed to talk! Also control?! We are not in the victorian era! I get it can be irritating but then so can adults, do you know what? such is life, maybe you might have learnt something from his/her did you know statements?!

This!

Probably would've quietened down if child had a screen to look at....but that would be a different complaining thread. Can't win either way

This is why people (parents included) want adult only spaces!

I had one non stop and one silent child - both knew how to behave in public.

The poor mum! My son has ASD and chats non stop… you’re lucky you can move for a coffee.. is she not allowed to go out too? Some children can’t be made to be quiet. You did what you needed to do and moved on..
it’s a no win situation for everyone, but yes I do think you’re being unreasonable to not consider why the child may have been chatting non stop..🤷🏻‍♀️

I would say the OP has definitely learned to move faster next time...

I’m really glad it worked for you… not all ASD children are the same. 🙄
I’m not a lazy parent because my child doesn’t have the ability to understand! Wow!

I hope I never meet your kids.

I chose not to have children so I have no interest in engaging with anyone else's!

And the point of this post is ?
Your a better parent?
Your Dc has better social skills?
Did it not occur to you that maybe this child had a disability being on the autistic spectrum is screaming at me.
Maybe the mother was absolutely frazzled.
pointless post from someone who wants to validate their own fucking perfectionism to themselves

You sound a bit entitled IMO. Children are chatty, everyone knows that.

It is not "entitled" to think you should be able to go out to a cafe and have a chat with others at the same table without having to put up with an extremely loud child! The world does not revolve around children.

imagine how that mom feels being with the annoying child 24 hours a day

Imagine how the sibling feels. Being with the annoying child 24 hours a day and not getting an opportunity to speak.