Page 8 | To ask for no photos/videos to be taken at school performance?

anotherscroller · 01/12/2022 11:34

Skiphopbump · 30/11/2022 10:49

When my children were in primary school they banned videoing and photographing during performances- it was so much more enjoyable! We were allowed to take photos of our own children in the hall afterwards.

Sounds like a really good compromise.

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 01/12/2022 11:36

Christmasbahhumbug · 30/11/2022 10:42

DD can’t be in photos/videos online. There are genuine reasons for this. School are very good and I think would put a ban in place if I (or any other parent) asked.

In previous years I have kept her home on special nursery/school days where photos/videos might be taken.

Over the summer, DD really wanted to join in and school allowed photos/videos and asked parents to keep them off SM but unsurprisingly this was ignored.

I get it, I really do. I would love a picture/video of DD having fun/performing with all of her friends but we just can’t.

Do I deny other parents/grandparents/children that pleasure by asking for no photos/videos or yet again have DD miss out completely?

You certainly are within your rights to ask the school not to, and I think other parents will be taking photos of their child not yours.

BungleandGeorge · 01/12/2022 11:41

Our school was absolutely no photos or videos unless every parent gave permission. I think the schools that have banned them in the performance but allow photos for those who are happy with it afterwards have got it right. It’s a real shame to just ban outright, especially if the reason is that someone didn’t bother to return their reply slip.

Abraxan · 01/12/2022 13:40

Willyoujustbequiet · 01/12/2022 09:49

I dont think its fair to ask other people not to take photos of their children. They shouldnt share photos of your child but ime people dont.

Sadly, as many schools have learnt, many people absolutely do share photographs and videos which has other children in the background, or alongside then, and without getting permission from those children’s parents.

ALJT · 01/12/2022 15:59

I see both sides of this - my son had a solo singing in one and my husband had to miss due to work and there was a child who’s parents had requested no photos/videos and I was gutted… I wouldn’t of shared on SM but I understand some people do, and if it puts children in danger etc I get it… x

Unmarriedhousewife · 01/12/2022 16:03

Our school have a blanket ban at all events but do provide time immediately after for parents to take photos of their own children/friendship group.

Purple52 · 01/12/2022 16:03

What’s your reason for your DC not being in photos (not that but should matter!) but in a private setting like this it maybe useful to share some detail to give the “do it regardless” club more understanding of the impact it could have.

Rosie219 · 01/12/2022 16:09

I think your child joining in is more important than people taking photos. I wouldn't mind if my children's school banned cameras. The school could take photos and make sure any children whose parents don't want them to be in them aren't.

TeenDivided · 01/12/2022 16:09

Purple52 · 01/12/2022 16:03

What’s your reason for your DC not being in photos (not that but should matter!) but in a private setting like this it maybe useful to share some detail to give the “do it regardless” club more understanding of the impact it could have.

MN isn't private.

Numerous examples have been given in the thread such as hiding from abusive exes & fostered or adopted children.

Smogtopia · 01/12/2022 16:10

I know this sounds extreme but can't you ask she wears some vague form of disguise and gets stood at the back?! Some sort of funny hat / comedy glasses - with them all in uniform and her being positioned at the back and wearing silly Christmas sunglasses and Christmas hat I can't see how she would be recognised

Sennelier1 · 01/12/2022 16:10

I think yabu because there are ways to prevent your DC being on social media : in my grandchild’s school parents can choose yes or no to be on the FB of the school. If that seems necessary, the pictures are fotoshoped with f.i.a blur or a flower pasted over the face of a certain child or children are simply left out of pictures.

We ourselves don’t put any pictures of our grandchildren on social media, but their parents allow it in the school context. That’s how I know some children are “disguised” in pictures of outings and activities 😊

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/12/2022 16:13

Smogtopia · 01/12/2022 16:10

I know this sounds extreme but can't you ask she wears some vague form of disguise and gets stood at the back?! Some sort of funny hat / comedy glasses - with them all in uniform and her being positioned at the back and wearing silly Christmas sunglasses and Christmas hat I can't see how she would be recognised

Why should they? A funny hat or comedy glasses in a Nativity? Maybe the child wants to be an angel. It's supposed to be for the benefit of the children.

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/12/2022 16:14

Sennelier1 · 01/12/2022 16:10

I think yabu because there are ways to prevent your DC being on social media : in my grandchild’s school parents can choose yes or no to be on the FB of the school. If that seems necessary, the pictures are fotoshoped with f.i.a blur or a flower pasted over the face of a certain child or children are simply left out of pictures.

We ourselves don’t put any pictures of our grandchildren on social media, but their parents allow it in the school context. That’s how I know some children are “disguised” in pictures of outings and activities 😊

This isn't about the school FB it's about parents taking photos during school productions.

Abraxan · 01/12/2022 16:14

Sennelier1 · 01/12/2022 16:10

I think yabu because there are ways to prevent your DC being on social media : in my grandchild’s school parents can choose yes or no to be on the FB of the school. If that seems necessary, the pictures are fotoshoped with f.i.a blur or a flower pasted over the face of a certain child or children are simply left out of pictures.

We ourselves don’t put any pictures of our grandchildren on social media, but their parents allow it in the school context. That’s how I know some children are “disguised” in pictures of outings and activities 😊

That is how the school can control it themselves. It if the school lets all parents take photographs and videos then the school, and the op, loses all control over what the other parents do on social media with them.

Sadly, as has been shown time and time again, not all parents will take notice of a school's request to not post assembly/nativity photos and videos to social media, and there is no real way to force them either.

lanthanum · 01/12/2022 16:17

Have you talked to the school about their policy? At ours, it's simple - no photos/video permitted at any performances. After the performance is over, there is a photo call for each group on the stage, with any children like yours kept out of it. The same rule applies every year - I expect there are some year groups where there is no child that needs to be kept out of the photos, but by having a consistent policy there's no issue of anyone wondering which child is the problem.
Last year parents weren't able to attend the performance due to covid so it was videoed. That did unfortunately mean a couple of children sitting out for the recording, although they were able to participate fully in the rehearsals.
The year 6 show is recorded and issued to families on DVD, with due warning about not distributing it, and I suspect it's much less tempting to share that than a clip or photo on your phone.

Smogtopia · 01/12/2022 16:17

@CaptainMyCaptain I completely agree they shouldn't need to but if it comes down to trusting every parent in the school hall not to sneak a photo (which OP doesn't trust) or the child missing out again I thought the notion of 'disguise' could be a happy compromise

Fleabigg · 01/12/2022 16:18

You may well find you’re not the only one. We aren’t allowed any photos or videos at our school nativity because they don’t have permission for every child, and that’s across all year groups so more than one person.

Smogtopia · 01/12/2022 16:18

Also @CaptainMyCaptain there's no mention of it being an actual nativity so more elaborate costumes may fit the bill..

healthadvice123 · 01/12/2022 16:27

I always only put pictures of nine up without others in background or if I have asked the parents if ok
But have seen others put them up and they just don't think

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/12/2022 16:27

Smogtopia · 01/12/2022 16:18

Also @CaptainMyCaptain there's no mention of it being an actual nativity so more elaborate costumes may fit the bill..

No but it would apply equally to Nativities. Whatever the performance a disguise might not be suitable and what if they have a leading role - and why shouldn't they have a good part? I object to young children (who have most likely already experienced difficult times) having to hide behind a disguise in what should be a safe space for them.

Pippylongstock · 01/12/2022 16:28

What a shame your child has to miss out. I don’t think it’s a big ask to say no photos

Smogtopia · 01/12/2022 16:33

I agree @CaptainMyCaptain but OP is stating she won't let child perform
Due to risk of photos. Surely chips performing in face paint or hat or glasses is a compromise?

I wish all parents would adhere to no photos but it just doesn't seem OP trusts that

Notjustabrunette · 01/12/2022 16:38

I would talk to the school and explain your concerns and see if you can can to an agreement. Your child won’t be the first or last that cannot be photographed for a given reason.if I was the head and a parent put photos on social media after being asked not to they would be banned from future performances at the school.

thisisme2468 · 01/12/2022 16:42

At DC’s school it was no photos/videos during the performance but parents could go and take a photo of their child at the end.

Canyoubelievethesepeople · 01/12/2022 16:48

Our school banned photos but took individual photos of each child to share with parents and also did an encrypted video of the performance which was sent to parents but couldn’t be shared only viewed. Simples!