To ask for no photos/videos to be taken at school performance?

[Christmasbahhumbug]

DD can’t be in photos/videos online. There are genuine reasons for this. School are very good and I think would put a ban in place if I (or any other parent) asked.

In previous years I have kept her home on special nursery/school days where photos/videos might be taken.

Over the summer, DD really wanted to join in and school allowed photos/videos and asked parents to keep them off SM but unsurprisingly this was ignored.

I get it, I really do. I would love a picture/video of DD having fun/performing with all of her friends but we just can’t.

Do I deny other parents/grandparents/children that pleasure by asking for no photos/videos or yet again have DD miss out completely?

No, you can't ask this. Yabvu.

Maybe suggest that your kid is in the beginning or end and no photos are allowed before or after a certain point.

A blanket ban on photos/videos is very entitled.

Wanting her child to have the same school experience as other children and to stay safe whilst doing so is not entitled, it is good parenting.

If the school does ban photos it is because of other parents who didn't follow the no social media rules previously.

Photos and videos are banned at our school. We went mad a few years ago when the school know it all, pta leader, perfect mum shared a lot of photos with numerical looked after children in and included the name badge of the school on them. There’s only a few schools of that name in the country. She never spoke to us again but better the children be kept safe.

Insisting that you have the right to photograph other people's children whether they are put at risk or not is what, then?

We say no photos or videos in all our performances.

Mainly for safeguarding reasons - we always have 1 or 2 children in school for can't be online and xan’t rely in parents keeping recordings away from social media - past experience.

It's also really annoying for other parents to have another parent in front with their phone up all through the show.

We do, however, take out own photographs and videos to share with parents on password protected sires, having edited the child out who can't be shown. It means they can take part though their position on stage is often more carefully chosen to make editing easier.

Our head was extremely clear during ours that videos and photos were not permitted during the performance (Our school has very good reasons for this - a looked-after child who's identity needed to be protected.)

What they did do is give the parents an area of the stage where they could individually photo their kids in costume afterwards. Ensuring that other kids were ushered out of the way so they didn't accidentally appear in photos. Worked pretty well as a solution.

'Well, that narrows it down to Jamie in the Robins class, as I know the other Mums haven't got exes and were pregnant around the same time as me...wonder if his Dad's a criminal? Or his Mum's a bit older, maybe she's a foster carer? Could be a family of addicts and drug dealers..he doesn't seem as bright as the other kids, maybe he's a cocaine baby, have you heard the way those poor little things cry?'

'Why does she think her kid's so special that we have to go without photos? I won't be told what I can and can't do with my own child for her to get attention. If she doesn't want him online, then she should take him out of school'

'I think it's terrible, taking children away from their fathers. Maybe his grandmother is desperate to see him - I've never liked his Mum, she looks like the type that would make up stuff about his Dad being violent to punish him. My Sean was talking to somebody last week who's just started at his work and wondered where the main schools are round here...'

'Jamie! Are you adopted? Is your Mum dead? Or are you hiding from your Dad? I heard my Dad saying we can't send Grandma a video of the show because you're not allowed photos'

'Yeah, going to the kid's play this afternoon. Load of bollocks, we aren't allowed photos because there's a new kid there who's adopted or something. Bridge Place Primary, the one by the park. Dunno, Lily reckons he doesn't really say much but just wants to hang on to his toy zebra most of the time'

In short, saying that would then also identify the child at risk and possibly put them even more at risk than before.

School plays don't exist so that you can take photos of it!

You really don't need to take photos of every thing your child does. Just watch and enjoy the play and then you'll be able tell family and friends about it. They really don't need to see a photo of your child to be able to imagine their nativity play

So instead of banning parents from taking photos they made Reception children miss out on being in the play at all. That's terrible.

Honestly my dh always struggled to make nativities etc.as he works away abit.I'd always take a pic of little video for him so he could see. I don't do any social media so would never share them, they are just for us.

I'm not sure it's strictly fair to ask for a blanket ban.

People managed OK before everyone carried the means to take photos and videos at all times. The single most important thing is that every child gets to take part in the performance.

If by managing ok you mean that some working parents never got to see their kids saying their their line or in their angel costume, then yep they managed ok.

Could your DC wear a costume that involves a mask?

Yes. Teachers themselves quite often don't get to see their own children in performances so they are aware of this but the school is there for the benefit of the children not the parents .

My sons old primary school used to make the children who couldn't be in photos wear a coloured wristband and make an announcement that those children absolutely could not be posted online.
My children aren't allowed on SM either and I'm now at the dreaded time of year where he will be filmed by god knows who and end up with his face god knows where.

There’s nothing worse than parents holding up their phones and so intent on taking video’s that nobody else can see the performance. Just ban the bloody things and anyone who doesn’t comply can leave and miss out altogether.

This notion that people are entitled to take photos of their little darlings regardless of the cost to others is ridiculous.

Yes please please please see if a role can be found for her like this
Or even a Wise Man with a big beard and low crown hat thing

But in many cases it's about need/wants and priorities.

The child’s need to be safe against a parent’s want to watch a few minutes of a recorded nativity.

The child’s safety is the priority. It should always be the priority, even more so if there is a known safeguarding issue.

You should be able to trust people not to put stuff online but you never will be able to as there will always be one idiot who does. Even if they have a ban on people taking photos/videos it’s impossible to police as if they want to do it they will find a way.

Would it be possible for your child to be given a part where they need to wear a mask? If you and school tell them it’s so important they stay in character by keeping the mask on then your child can enjoy being part of the play and when some idiot does post a photo online your child’s identity is protected.

I don't see why a child should have to be kept out of the play, wear a wrist band or cover their face with a mask just so that entitled parents can get their own way.

When we lived in England and our children took part in the nativity (I miss them SO much!), we were allowed to take a photograph of our child after the performance, but a ban on any photographs or filming during the nativity. Which was so much more preferable as we didn’t get people standing up all the time to take pictures.

Was also less distracting for the children too. And meant the parents were ‘more present’ too.

It’s a shame that most people do not understand safeguarding risks.

I dont think its fair to ask other people not to take photos of their children. They shouldnt share photos of your child but ime people dont.

Every school I've ever heard of has a blanket ban of nothing on social media, and all parents have always adhered to it.

It's a very standard policy. The Head always stands up before the performance and reminds everyone.

Absolutely agree with this.

I'm with@Aussiegirl123456 and @CulturePigeon and am absolutely amazed to find that posters think that their right to take photos trumps a school or nursery child's right to take part in school or nursery activities.