To ask for no photos/videos to be taken at school performance?

[Christmasbahhumbug]

DD can’t be in photos/videos online. There are genuine reasons for this. School are very good and I think would put a ban in place if I (or any other parent) asked.

In previous years I have kept her home on special nursery/school days where photos/videos might be taken.

Over the summer, DD really wanted to join in and school allowed photos/videos and asked parents to keep them off SM but unsurprisingly this was ignored.

I get it, I really do. I would love a picture/video of DD having fun/performing with all of her friends but we just can’t.

Do I deny other parents/grandparents/children that pleasure by asking for no photos/videos or yet again have DD miss out completely?

The head teacher at my children’s school always mentioned at the start of the play that we could take photos but to please not put them on social media…I’d never put the photos on social media anyway as my children would have been mortified and I’m very conscious nowadays about their digital footprint.

One of the schools my dd attended had a policy of standing the dc who could not have photographs taken of them either at the back or to the side of performances so they couldn't be seen and banned parents from taking videos/photographs but the school took videos etc themselves and then distributed them on their social media etc for all to see for those with dc that had permission to be photographed.
You should absolutely ask for school to make it work however they choose to,

I wish they'd just stop it and only allow the school to take photos/videos then as a PP said their school do, blank out the face of a child who can't be photographed.

I was at an event recently - not a school event but some schools were participating. There were many parents on the audience who were up and down off their seats taking videos/photos of their child's group. They were spoiling the performance for the other paying punters (some of whom were sitting behind the parents) who had no connection with the schools and who had paid good money to watch the event. I wouldn't be surprised if a photo ban is put in place for future events.

YANBU to ask the school to block photos/videos to protect your child but the school may respond with not having your child participate (as other schools seem to do) which is wrong in my opinion.

I do think it might be worth discussing creative costume choices for school performances but that won't help with things like sports day.

I've seen photos and videos banned for main performance but a special moment at end where parents could take one photo of their own child which worked well.

My kids school make us sign something before every performance, sports day etc to say we will post on social media or send to anyone else. It works well and everyone follows the rule. There are a few adopted children in my childrens school and this is well known as well children who are NC with one parent and other reasons.

I know of a parent (different school a few years ago) who got in trouble for posting the photos of her kids and other kids on social media from a school play, someone had reported it and she had to go into the school for a meeting then posted how disgusted she was about the school being ott, the school was not being ott, she just didn't follow the rules.

please speak to the setting to ask what they can do better about the whole situation.

Schools I know have a total ban on photos etc during the performance, people are free to take photos of their child in costume etc after the event, the school also makes a video during the dress rehearsal with a few camers which is then edited into a much better copy than a shaky home video with backs of heads etc. This is then made available cheaply to raise much needed funds for teh school.

V glad that schools are considering this. Don't shoot me down in flames for this but not long ago had the chance to attend some performances at a Steiner school, no photography or filming allowed. Dont know if this is always a policy, but tbh it was a blessed relief. Everyone focused on being there and the performance and conversations afterwards.
I have colleagues with adopted twins. This issue is very delicate for them.

When my girls were at primary school we started off with a record but don’t share policy, which unfortunately was ignored so they banned recording/photographs completely

School would set up a time slot where you could go and take a photo of your child, and only your child, in their costumes or whatever before or afterwards.

As I said, I dont like my own DCs faces online, but I do think it's a shame not to document school plays, sports days, services etc at all. They're important moments and interesting for future generations to look back on and learn from. It just has to be done in a controlled fashion. I think the compromise is that an official photographer should take pictures but black out the faces if published online.

You can ask but I can say it won't be followed. Your child will need to not participate if her appearing on social media will cause a lot of harm.

I think you need to speak to the head with the attitude "how can we make this work so that DD is safe" rather than "can you ban photos". It is going to be a problem every year so if you can come up with a solution that works early on that can only be good.

Our school did this too. They also got the school photographer to take some staged photos of the kids in character and then we had the option to purchase laminated printouts for 50p/£1 each. The money went to the PTA. Making this suggestion could work as it means people can still have photos of their own children and classmates (who's parents give consent to photo sharing) but not photos of your child x

That is awful. To exclude a child potentially because of their experiences of and risk of abuse.

I think honestly you can't ask for people not to take any photos. Because actually it's the harm of people sharing them, not having them that creates the risk. The people who ignore the request to not post on social media will probably still be the same ones who take a sly photo anyway and still slap it up on Instagram.

BUT the school absolutely needs to be taking this all more seriously. I would have a good talk with them about (1) sending out a message to re-iterate the importance of not taking photos and WHY. Some people are selfish and they can't actually think beyond their own circumstances to conceive of why this would be a risk for some children, but not their own. And also to state that they will consider imposing a ban on all photos if people can't respect this request. And then (2) they need to be more serious about policing their request and the safeguarding lead needs to follow up with parents who do post photos of other people's children on social media. It won't be hard to figure out who those are.

Last year when we went to dss nativity we were told no photos could be taken and it was explained that this was a security issue for certain children. Not one person took a photo. I'm sure if you speak to the head teacher something can be arranged.

I prefer a no photos rule, it improves the experience. In your case I'd tell the school exactly what you've put here - it's important to the safety of your child that they don't end up online and you know that in the past photos from these events have ended up on social media, and you need assurance that can't happen again. Then leave it to the school to sort out - it's not your "fault" - your priority is keeping your child safe.

Could you ask them to do a ban of recording during performance (with threat of being caught, those parents not allowed at any more school performances whilst their chilenischen at school)?

Suggest all the children go back on stage for an encore of one of the songs which can be videoed without any children who don't want to/can't be filmed.

Suggest they get a photography student in to a dress rehearsal to take individual shots of kids in action which would be sold at a very reasonable price to the parents.

Our school had a no photos rule during the performance, but gave parents a chance to take pictures afterwards, once any children who had opted out of being photographed were removed. Always seemed reasonable to me, plus it stopped parents ruining the show by trying capture something for the 'Gram! I would ask.

In Reception Year, they sent out a similar from, saying that if they didn't want photography, their child would not be in the play

That's really unfair. Taking part in plays is part of the curriculum. Having your photo taken by strangers isn't. Schools should prioritise the children, not parents who want to take photos!

But my child goes to school to learn and take part, not so that their face can appear on SM

I think your child getting the opportunity to participate trumps people wanting photos. I know of a family in our school in a similar position and it has not been an issue because no-one has ever shared them. Our school is very strict about no taking pictures of children who are not yours.

I would expect my child to be protected by the school community.

Can you get school to issue a short paragraph explaining why photos are not allowed to be on social media? I think a lot of people don't understand how important it is in terms of keeping people safe and that is why they just ignore it.
Doesn't have to be specifically about your child/situation just pick a reason that people will understand like: it is important that adopted kids are not identified online by their birth families for safety reasons.

I think the parents would be more careful about sharing photos online if they understand there is a specific child who would be endangered by it.

It’s a bit like allergies, if parents know there is someone who is allergic they are more careful than just thinking they are having to go along with a blanket ban.

I think it's reasonable to ban them. My children's school don't allow photos/videos during but you can take a picture of your child in costume etc in the hall after just as long as no child is in the background

It was made exponentially clear that photos were not to be shared on SM at our school, for safeguarding reasons. If people can't understand that they are fuckwits. I would hate for someone's child (ren) to have to miss out on things.