To ask for no photos/videos to be taken at school performance?

[Christmasbahhumbug]

DD can’t be in photos/videos online. There are genuine reasons for this. School are very good and I think would put a ban in place if I (or any other parent) asked.

In previous years I have kept her home on special nursery/school days where photos/videos might be taken.

Over the summer, DD really wanted to join in and school allowed photos/videos and asked parents to keep them off SM but unsurprisingly this was ignored.

I get it, I really do. I would love a picture/video of DD having fun/performing with all of her friends but we just can’t.

Do I deny other parents/grandparents/children that pleasure by asking for no photos/videos or yet again have DD miss out completely?

Our school says no photos during the performance so as not not disrupt things, but allow a photo at the end with all the kids on stage. Could you ask for that and then not have your child there at the photo time.

Even if you ask and school agree doesn't mean parents will listen, our school have always had the no photos video rule but certain parents think it doesn't apply to them and record on the sly.

@teendivided There's a big difference between what should happen and what does happen. You can't guarantee how strangers will behave, or what school sanctions may be. You can only do what you can to keep your own children safe.

More recently the school has asked for no photos as prior to that nearly everyone with their phones / cameras up was a bit much

I prefer it, enjoy the show and people can get a dvd if they’re keen

My kids' school had a ban on photographs/videos at these things and then made time for kids to be photographed afterwards with their mates. People grumbled but that was all, because I think most understood there are reasons for this type of thing. In any case it means people are focusing on the now and not the created 'memory'!

I would rather all the kids get to participate and experience that than be able to take photos and videos personally.

Completely understand your situation OP but also I would be very upset if I wasn't allowed to take a video myself as our school doesn't record plays etc themselves. I think it sounds like your school need to be clearer with parents about social media and why it is an issue (without saying anything outing obviously). Some parents literally don't understand why it's an issue, I've parents parents say before that it's just because some parents choose not to put photos online - they simply don't make the connection with it actually putting a child at risk.

Could you ask school to communicate better and explain why it's so important. Also, they could reiterate to parents that they should report to school if they see anything shared on social media. I would have no qualms about reporting something if I saw someone had ignored the rule about sharing videos and photos. Some are just plain ignorant and think they don't have to listen.

You can ask but it’s up to the school ultimately. Photos being allowed or not is not your decision.

I’d ask if they can push the point that photos of other peoples children shouldn’t be shared, in the newsletter, at the play and again after it. If the school stated that anyone found to have uploaded pictures of other peoples children then they will be banned from future events, that should be enough deterrent.

Yes I know that. But that's no reason not to try.

But school should be a safe place for our children who have often lost so much before. If a school is clear enough on the reasons and the consequences to a family for breaking the ban that will be enough for a number of the the at risk families.

It's about risk management. The school should do everything they can do. That will be enough for many families. For some others it still won't be and they will need to make their own choices.

I'd ask them to push the not sharing photos online element, rather than stopping people from taking them.

It doesn't bloody revolve around you either and why on earth should your right to spam social media with pictures of your precious darlings doing the nativity trump another childs right to safety? Some people really blow my mind with their selfishness

Our school allowed photos at the end only, after they had discreetly removed the children who weren't to be photographed. We were also told not to post the pictures on social media.

Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of people who misunderstand why people say not to post photos/videos online- they think it's because people are worried paedophiles might see them and find them exciting, which they think is ridiculous so they just ignore the request. I have had to explain to quite a few people that banning photos is nothing to do with paedophiles and is actually to protect children from being found by abusive family members or birth parents etc. But then lots of people also happily share those 'help me find this child' pictures that haven't been posted by the police.

The attitude most people seem to exhibit now I rather suspect that even if photos / video were banned there would be “ covert filming anyway sadly “ it’s my right … I’m only filming my kid “ etc.

safly I’d keep them home

Depending on settings, teachers or school admin don't have access to parents' facebook pages and what they post - if they are set to just friends or friends of friends - so there's no way really to police it.

How long before the abusive ex that you need to avoid is able to send an undetectable camera mounted on a drone into the school hall to keep tabs on your child?

That's a good idea.

The families might actually enjoy the event more if they weren't trying desperately to make a low-res video of it, too. And the children might like to see their faces instead of the backs of dozens of ipads.

We all need to get a bit more clued up on sharing children's images on social media, I think.

With camera phones it’s impossible for the school to police a no photo rule. They can ask parents but there is no guarantee that will be respected. Really you have no choice but to remove your child from performances if she absolutely cannot end up online.

I wonder if people would stop the sneaky filming/photos if the schools did and emailed out "official" ones in which certain children's identities were obscured? One of my DC's orchestras does this. The added bonus is that it makes for a far better viewing and the videos are better as they're done on a tripod from a good angle.

Yes. There are many reasons why some people don't want their children's names, faces, locations and daily routine broadcast on social media and recorded in perpetuity.

Children who have a no photos rule for safety reasons usually have their area .
/ school secret from the risk adult. That's the whole point. So the child isn't linked to the school online. Reverse image searching means that children can be found via their school.

And your desire to overshare on sm doesn't trump a child's safety. And why should children who have already experienced a lot be denied these normal and enjoyable things?
Why can't parents just enjoy the moment without shoving a phone in their kids face and posting it online.

My DCs nativities have been spoiled by selfish, entitled parents blocking the view because they simply had to video every second. Last year one of the dc cried on stage and one of the video happy parents shouted for them to be removed for spoiling her video... nevermind the children with safeguarding concerns that could be put in real danger because some dickhead with 5000 online friends and no privacy posted a video, tagged everyone they knew and identified the school.
^
But yeah sure, you're desire to show off (spoiler: no one really cares) comes first.^

I’ve found a simple request to enjoy the moment really effective, people are reminded that filming everything isn’t key and pretty much all don’t

Then they usually ask for no posting on social media

How long before abusive ex partner's/stalking increases in prevalence such that a tipping point is reached and schools decide that there will be no more more performances so that no more filming can take place?

How unfair for the children involved! DS's school filmed the dress rehearsal instead so children could still be part of the main event.

Can they not give your child a part so she is unrecognisable? Mine were always donkeys, cattle and a camel one year!

Or if an angel one with a voil or something over the face?

I still think that no sharing should be a rule regardless but it would give an additional buffet and let her join in