To ask for no photos/videos to be taken at school performance?

[Christmasbahhumbug]

DD can’t be in photos/videos online. There are genuine reasons for this. School are very good and I think would put a ban in place if I (or any other parent) asked.

In previous years I have kept her home on special nursery/school days where photos/videos might be taken.

Over the summer, DD really wanted to join in and school allowed photos/videos and asked parents to keep them off SM but unsurprisingly this was ignored.

I get it, I really do. I would love a picture/video of DD having fun/performing with all of her friends but we just can’t.

Do I deny other parents/grandparents/children that pleasure by asking for no photos/videos or yet again have DD miss out completely?

I totally agree. No child should lose out because they need protection.

I’d be a bit upset if I was told I couldn’t take photos at all. I don’t share pics of other children on social media but I do like to have photos of my children taking part in events like sports day and plays. You should raise your concerns with the headteacher so they can remind all parents and there should be consequences for the ones who ignore that request rather than ruining it for everyone. Other suggestions like being able to go backstage to take photos of your individual child are also good but I think a blanket ban will just create bad feeling.

I think photos should be allowed but not sharing onlone.

No one ever listens when asked not to post on social media. But I also understand its unfair denying other parents their pictures and videos as they can't get this time back. Maybe ask for a role where your child's face is covered. Ask school to send out a message saying along the lines of "Due to safeguarding issues with a pupil, photos can only be posted if it's ONLY of your child, other children MUST be removed from the photos. If any pictures are found on social media your child will be excluded from all future performances"

I would absolutely ask the school for a no photos policy. Perhaps they can set up an area in a side room for parents to photograph their own child in costume.
Plenty of parents don't want their kids online for various reasons. All of the kids being able to participate and have privacy trumps some parents want for a few photos.

Given that you can't guarantee other parents listening, I'd suggest DD doesn't take part if it's likely to cause harm. Too big a risk. Plus, then you're not the bad guy at school with other parents.

It was a while ago now, my youngest is 23, but when my kids were at primary school parents weren't allowed to take photos of videos, but they allowed you to take photos of your child at the end of the play.

Is there any chance that you could arrange for your child to have a costume in the activities that cover the face - like a mask of a donkey for example.

That way the photographs wouldn't matter

There were several adopted children in my son’s class at primary school and we were asked not to share photographs.
Of course there was already the odd parent who ignored, but I think it’s a reasonable request.

Is it a welfare concern in your case ?
I admit I always recite and take pics , but very aware to never share them and mostly try and argent the pics to my own child , if on occasion I post a pic then everyone else’s face is covered . I would never post anything with others children visible .

No, no NO.

Why should a child who has security concerns for a good reason have to miss out on yet more normal childhood experiences because other parents can't be trusted.

School should ban photos, make their own available and say very clearly that any family found to be breaking the ban will not be permitted to school events ever again .

Our school has a no photos or videos policy for all events. Families have to sign a form to say if they permit their child to be photographed or filmed for school purposes and always respect the parents/carers wishes

A mask to be a donkey is a good workaround in yR, but not so good when your child turns out to be pretty good at drama and gets a main role.

Can she do the performance but not be in the whole group bit at the end where photos can then be taken? They can do photos of scenes without her in?

Completely reasonable
.... the problem is it's impossible to enforce because it's too easy to covertly film, and as cameras get smaller and more sophisticated this will only get worse ☹️

A mask to be a donkey is a good workaround in yR, but not so good when your child turns out to be pretty good at drama and gets a main role.

I was suggesting a solution that wouldn't rely on other parents following the rules, as we know it'll just take one

Your childs safety is the most important thing and you should not feel guilty or unreasonable for doing what you need to do to protect them

I don't think it's that easy to covertly film. The parents either side would see what is happening, and you'd have to hold the phone/camera up high enough to get over the people in front.

No, they're not automatically a douch bag!! FGS.

people sometimes aren't aware that it could be an issue & just post photos of their child where other kids are in the background. Sometimes it's family uploading photos they've been sent.

Theres no need to name call.

@Christmasbahhumbug Im sorry you're in this position.

If it were me I'd ask if they could get a professional video & ban the recording & photography by 'the audience' with a reminder at the beginning, it's FAR better to say there are some children in the school who are completely unable to be be exposed in SM, than some bland 'Safeguarding' blah'. People respond much more positively when the understand there are individual actual children at risk, rather than some 'policy' blah!!

when my dd1 was in reception the school videos the rehearsal without any parents in attendance and any children that were not to be filmed were taken out.

They banned any filming or video and then sold the video to any parents that wanted it - but of course only the children allowed to be filmed where in the film

a bit of a faff in some ways but the filming was good and the school raised money this way

The problem is that some parents are just dicks about recording every breath their child takes. I had to ask one parent and his fancy pants camera to move 3 times from the taped off space where an entire class was going to sit , he was furious, didn’t I realise that this was the best position to see the stage, er yes Mr Dickhead, that was why we had planned it and clearly taped it off. I was a bit tempted to let him be overwhelmed in a tsunami of over excited year two children armed with stuffed sheep. But I didnt.

No, it's 1) not fair on everyone else 2) not enforceable. People will take sneaky pics.
Try to make sure your DC isn't in obvious grp photos and if you do see SM posts with your kid in the pic speak to school who will speak to the parents.
Sorry, but the world doesn't revolve around you.

We are allowed to share as long as everyone else is blurred out I had a phone call once asking me if I had blurred correctly as someone was questioning my picture I showed the school they agreed I had and that was it this was one of my so called close friends as I only share family and close friends so they soon got removed from that group

Realistically, if your child can't be in photos the only way you can be sure that won't happen is for them not to take part.

Non-sharing of photos is not enforceable. Even if the parents don't share it on fb, they'll send it to granny or to auntie and next thing you know that photo is online somewhere.
Even if they ban picture taking, there will always be a few people who think that doesn't apply to them.

Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility