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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to help me whilst the World Cup is on

227 replies

Sheilazwheelz · 29/11/2022 20:49

I mean with the kids? Should I expect him to help me put the kids to bed whilst the footie is on? He seems to think he is exempt now.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 29/11/2022 20:50

How many kids and how old? Is it for every game or just his team?

Original poster
Sheilazwheelz · 29/11/2022 20:51

Every bloody game! The kids are 5 and 2

OP posts:
NewIdeasToday · 29/11/2022 20:51

An England game in the World Cup is a special event if you’re a football supporter. I’d let him enjoy the game and put the kids to bed myself.

Skinnermarink · 29/11/2022 20:52

Oh mine was too. Weird isn’t it. He’s often not able to help suddenly when his team are on tv, or if the F1 is about to start.

I intend to start following a sport myself quite soon, so that every week or so I can recline in front of the tv eating crisps while it plays out- it’s only fair.

girlmom21 · 29/11/2022 20:52

YABU. You can do bedtime with a 2 and 5 year old if you're not interested in the football. If you are, either of you could have done the 2 year olds bedtime before kick off and the 5 year old at half time.

They're not going to need you to do much at bedtime at the next World Cup.

MolesOnPoles · 29/11/2022 20:52

Tonight wasDH’s turn to do bedtime, but I did it as the match is important to him. He’d do the same if something was important to me.

So unless your DH would refuse to manage the kids if you had something on (in which case you have bigger issues) YABU.

Flamingogirl08 · 29/11/2022 20:52

Oh just let him watch the game!

isthewashingdryyet · 29/11/2022 20:52

You shouldn’t expect him to help you, you should expect him to do his fair share.

what is it with DHs who ‘help’

tirednewmumm · 29/11/2022 20:53

Needs more context? I'm doing all bedtime for World Cup because dh likes football and I don't care. But I'm often popping out with friends/swimming/getting a massage etc so I feel it evens out and I'm happy to do it.

Make some plans for none match days and leave him to it? If he dares complain just look baffled and say 'oh I thought we were taking turns as I did Tuesday night '🤷🏻‍♀️

Simonjt · 29/11/2022 20:53

Not watching the football world cup, but during big rugby games I don’t do bath and bed time, during the euros he didn’t so bath and bed time.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 29/11/2022 20:53

If you are a footie fan, it’s a big deal. Can he make up in other ways whilst it’s going on?

FurAndFeathers · 29/11/2022 20:54

Sheilazwheelz · 29/11/2022 20:49

I mean with the kids? Should I expect him to help me put the kids to bed whilst the footie is on? He seems to think he is exempt now.

Don’t you mean ‘should you expect him to parent his own children’?

helping implies the responsibility is yours by default. Why should it be?

ask him when you get to opt out of parenting? Perhaps throughout the next season of bake off/love island/whatever you watch?

AlwaysLatte · 29/11/2022 20:54

YABU. You can do bedtime with a 2 and 5 year old if you're not interested in the football. If you are, either of you could have done the 2 year olds bedtime before kick off and the 5 year old at half time.
My thoughts exactly!

neverbeenskiing · 29/11/2022 20:56

I have no interest in football and DH loves it. I put the kids to bed so he could watch, but before it started he did their packed lunches, sorted their uniform out for tomorrow and had a glass of wine waiting for me when I came down.

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 29/11/2022 20:57

It started quite late

Get them to bed earlier?

Oblomov22 · 29/11/2022 20:58

It's only a couple of games, every 4 years. I would do the bedtime.

LolaSmiles · 29/11/2022 20:58

YABU

He doesn't need to help. He needs to do his fair share.

If he likes football and there's a match he wants to watch on then YABU to expect him to do bedtime with the kids for the sake of it.
The obvious flip side is that if you want to watch something or go somewhere he also should do bed time with the DC whilst you do something else.

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 29/11/2022 20:59

Op you are just being petty

Kanaloa · 29/11/2022 20:59

I think you’re unreasonable to refer to a parent putting their child to bed as ‘helping’ you.

Does it work the other way? Can you opt out of ‘helping’ him with any parenting when I’m a Celeb is on? Or is it only the football that is more important than doing your basic duty as a parent?

PanicAtTheBigTesco · 29/11/2022 21:01

As long as he does his fair share the rest of the time I think it's fine, the World Cup is a big deal.

DelorisVC · 29/11/2022 21:01

If it's every single game then yanbu.
If it's just the team he supports then yabu unless you want to watch it too in which case in our house we would play rock paper scissors for it.

AnotherAppleThief · 29/11/2022 21:01

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 29/11/2022 20:57

It started quite late

Get them to bed earlier?

7pm? How many children go to bed before 7pm?

I think it's nice to be nice, luckily DH feels the same so we do nice things for each other all the time.

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 29/11/2022 21:02

MolesOnPoles · 29/11/2022 20:52

Tonight wasDH’s turn to do bedtime, but I did it as the match is important to him. He’d do the same if something was important to me.

So unless your DH would refuse to manage the kids if you had something on (in which case you have bigger issues) YABU.

This.
I'm banking it for a night out next week in return.

BendingSpoons · 29/11/2022 21:02

Depends how often he does bedtime. DH and I generally both do parts of bedtime, so I'm happy to do more of it when he has something on, including watching football. Although tonight DH showered them and got them into pyjamas bf

Creameggs223 · 29/11/2022 21:02

2 and 5 you should beable to put them to bed without help unless there are reasons you can't?