To expect DH to help me whilst the World Cup is on

[Sheilazwheelz]

I mean with the kids? Should I expect him to help me put the kids to bed whilst the footie is on? He seems to think he is exempt now.

Well, with some two and 5 year olds, bedtime can be quite fraught 🤣 not all kids are the same, ya know?

We both love football. We just take it in turns. I love cricket and my husband will sort the children out if I’m watching that. He’s a big golf fan so I do it when he’s watching that. Nothing to do with being a ‘cool’ wife or husband. We just work as a team and get to enjoy the things we like - in peace!!

I happily put my 3 to bed on my own when DH is doing sometime else and vice versa. That doesn’t make me a ‘cool wife’, just a normal human 🤷🏻‍♀️
Same here.

Isn't it depressing that expecting a relationship to involve give and take on both sides is such a controversial position to some posters.

Bloody hate this comment. Such a stupid dig.

I’ve got 3 children, one of whom didn’t sleep through the night until she was 3.5, one used to get up 15 times before she’d settle to sleep telling me she needed a wee, a drink, a kiss, a million other things and one of whom is severely disabled and I have to lie with him at bedtime to calm him down before he’ll sleep. I know all kids are different. I still don’t think that, in the grand scheme of things, putting children to bed on your own is that big a deal. Plenty more difficult things going on in my life, I can tell you!

Yep, it seems some people have pretty shit relationships and are feeling defensive.

It depends if you want to watch the football too?

If so then you should take in turns putting them to bed and try and time it for half time or something.

But if he enjoys the football and you don’t then I can’t see why you can’t put them to bed without him.

Exactly

Say it’s fine as long as you’re getting 3 weeks off bedtime after the tournament

My dh expects me to do it when our team play at night (not World Cup just regular games or European games). It really fucking annoys me, he just refuses. Like because he's male and I'm female he has the right to watch it over me 😡 We usually take turns which sometimes works out he is supposed to do it but aw no the games on 🙄

If you don't bother with fball though then just do it I don't see the big fuss. Surely he can do it another night and give u a night off.

If he gives you time to do your own things then fair enough! If not, then I get why you're annoyed.

If it's an England game (or whatever his team is) YABVU, as for the final. But for all the other random games, yes he needs to help.

Aww, let him watch the football. My husband is same, watching every minute he can.

If watching on sky/cable can't you "pause" the game and then watch it after they are in bed?

I'm glad someone said this.

Would anyone ever say I "help" DH by babysitting his kids when he's doing his hobby? Or going to work? Would I ever "help" him by cleaning his kid's rooms? Even if those kids are mine too?

Sounds like the football isn’t the issue in this relationship

for the england games I’d let him off.
for the whole of the World Cup? No way

I think people are being a bit harsh here…I read your OP as: there was no discussion and he has unilaterally relieved himself of his parenting responsibilities and taken himself off to watch the football at 6pm leaving you to do everything - and this has happened every night so far and will continue to happen every night for the rest of the tournament, with no conversation around when your own 3 weeks off will come. If this is the case, I think that’s unreasonable of him and I’d be peed off too!

My DP also loves football like his life depends on it…but he’s still doing his fare share of bedtimes and just joining the match once he’s done. Of course if there were particular matches he was keen to watch all off, I’d take on more than a strictly equal share of bedtimes, but it’s not unreasonable for me to also want a life too! If he just assumed I would do it without at least checking first that I didn’t have plans I’d be very annoyed!

I never get the “do bedtime” thing. In my house it was 10 mins in the bath, pj’s on and into bed, 1/2 hour job at the most 🤷

Which would be 1/3 of a football game missed, an six and a half hours of time spent doing bedtime over a week.

My husband does every bathtime. For the World Cup we are now taking in turns as we’d both like to watch. Maybe he should be complaining about me having to do every one when the World Cup isn’t on!

Do you mean every English game? Or do you mean EVERY game so he is checking out of bath and bedtime for a month?

The op hasn’t actually clarified whether it’s equal. All she’s clarified is that whenever there is football on television, her husband refuses to ‘help’ parent his children.

If it’s an equal thing and it would be easy for her to say ‘ooh a good drama on telly, I’ll be watching that when it’s on twice a week all this month, so you do tea and bedtime and I’ll do nothing’ then of course it’s reciprocal so it’s not a problem! But judging by her feeling her husband is ‘helping’ with childcare I imagine it probably isn’t reciprocal.

Try being married to a Welshmen who watches every blooming match through the year 🙈