To expect DH to help me whilst the World Cup is on

[Sheilazwheelz]

I mean with the kids? Should I expect him to help me put the kids to bed whilst the footie is on? He seems to think he is exempt now.

As long as things even out, then I think it's fine. It's probably a good opportunity to move to only one parent doing bedtime anyway, that's much more efficient in the long run. Or a compromise could be that for the games he's less invested in, he records it and starts watching a bit later, ie maybe 40 mins behind the live match.

So who does bedtime if they are both watching the football @girlmom21?

The issue is that he doesn't pull his weight and considers you the default parent. If he wanted "off" bedtime, why didn't he offer to do dinner and bath earlier? He thought it was acceptable for him to skip the whole lot because kids and house are your job, which he just "helps" with as a nice gesture.

I'd let him have the World Cup in exchange he does all bedtimes etc for the whole of January

@OoooohMatron where does OP say she doesn’t want to watch the football

As I said earlier, one of them puts the 2 year old to bed before the football, and then does the 5 year old at half time.

Alternatively, they let the kids stay up and fall asleep watching football then carry them up to bed.

How pathetic are you? Cool wives for not minding if their husband watches the football, really? I've heard it all now.

Why so determined to miss the point?

She doesn't but if she did want to she'd have said in her OP surely?

I'm not missing the point. Women are being referred to as cool wives for not being controlling over a bit of footie!

How would it go down if I started calling all those on here who allow themselves to be treated as the default parent and don’t expect equality in terms of childcare/bedtimes etc ‘downtrodden wives’?

*As I said earlier, one of them puts the 2 year old to bed before the football, and then does the 5 year old at half time.

Alternatively, they let the kids stay up and fall asleep watching football then carry them up to bed*

Both of these options would be really disruptive to my four year old's routine and we'd both be paying for it for weeks afterwards, it would absolutely not be worth it!

It's a choice you'd have to make then I guess

In my house, if we both wanted to watch the football (or anything else) we’d just put the kids to bed as usual, record them match and watch it after they were asleep, staying off social media so we didn’t see the result.

You can't really be unaware that many children do not obediently go straight to sleep within 10 minutes and bedtimes are a challenge for many parents?

This thread makes me laugh. Different variables, different styles.
I do what suits me. Years ago when ds's were nippers, (very rarely) I prepared an easy meal the day before, no bath, and they were put to bed early. If it suited me. Selfish bitch I am. Treating darling children so cruelly?

Even now. I've watched nearly as much of the World Cup as Dh has. Some women like football you know. I love having football on endlessly in our house, in the background, as I MN for copious hours.

@aSofaNearYou
Yeah, yeah, I know.
We all have issues. Just different ones.

Maybe such mums should be working on said bedtime routine, generally, instead of worrying about Dh watching one England match.

‘Mums’ should be working on the bedtime routine? Really? Not equally Dad’s domain at all?

So you just assume everyone with a kid who is a challenge at bedtime has never bothered working on their routine?

And even then, why do you not think their dad should be working on their bedtime routine instead of worrying about watching the football live?

@Oblomov22 and it isn't one England match, it's the whole tournament, as has been said many times.

I’ve decided I quite like the term ‘cool wife’ and will be adoption it. It actually is quite ‘cool’ to have a relationship of mutual respect and shared responsibilities. I wouldn’t accept anything else from a marriage. I’ll let DH know he’s a ‘cool husband’ too.

*adopting

For the England game I would say that's fine. If it's every night for every game then YANBU!

I wonder what sort of marriages people have that they would get upset about their DH watching football? Unless they are generally shit why would anyone be bothered about a bit of give and take in a relationship? So strange.

Stop picking. I only said mums because it's op, (female) and other mums, complaining.