AIBU for not inviting family to Center Parcs?

[Saju1]

My sister is annoyed for not inviting her son (my nephew) to CP.

I have booked a lodge to celebrate my birthday, and there is room for 1 more person, however I don't want anyone else to come. The issue I have is that she treats my nephew like a child when he is an adult, therefore I am going to have to collect him and take him home, that adds an extra hour to the car journey (it already takes 1.5 hours) when I already have a young baby in a car. I am going to have to babysit and pay for all of their food and activities.

Also, my nephew doesn't call me on my birthday, so I feel like they just want a free holiday.

AIBU? If not, how do I tell her I can't take him?

I’m also confused as to why you have a spare room. You say it’s you, your partner, parents, your baby and your aunt. Surely that’s a 3 bed villa (so already costing you more to have give from 2 to 3 hrs) - 1 room for aunt, 1 for parents, 1 for you two and baby (babies don’t count i headcount). If you have a spare room that suggests you have joined a 4 bed, which is a lot more money and so the others should be contributing to that cost.

i guess you want your parents there for babysitting duties - but I don’t understand why your mum begged you to invite your aunt… and you did! I might have understood if she’d begged to invited your sister and her son, but unless there’s a huge drip feed that your aunt raised you most of your life, it just seems odd.

tell your sister no. I’d personally tell my aunt there’s been a mix up and she’s not invited, but I get you might not want that confrontation. I’d certainly be telling mum and aunt the extra they owe you for the extra bedrooms.

YANBU. Its your birthday not a babysitting service for a severely autistic 18yr old!

Clearly I'm the only one who chuckled at the idea of family joining in your visit to 'Center Parcs' 😅

I can understand you paying for the villa for you, your DP, your baby and your parents, but why is your aunt coming if you didn’t personally invite her? I think that’s just as weird as your sister wanting her adult son to come along.

Doubt that an 18yr old would want to tag along anyway, regardless of the request to take him which is totally unreasonable and odd. You could say that you want the extra bedroom to try baby sleeping on their own, but you don’t have to say anything other than No, sorry. If you did want him to come, maybe as a helping hand with babysitting or day care, then suggest she bring him over to you and collect him after the holiday, saying that you would totally expect help with child care, although I fail to see how an adult can’t get the train or bus himself to you. Does he have issues perhaps?

Sorry, hadn’t read the whole thread. Still think you should just do what you want which is a holiday, not an anxious time looking out for a severely Autistic young man.

I find this thread v strange.

Why on earth would your dsis think she’s within her rights to ask you to take her 18yo ds on holiday?

Why does she think he’d WANT to go - surely any 18yo’s worst nightmare?

Your comment about “having to look after”your 18yo nephew - 18 yo’s are adults, they don’t need babysitting!

Sooo bizarre, all of it.

Happy Birthday!! 🥳 🌺enjoy yourself without the 18 year old.
Cheers 🥂 x

Have you actually read the whole thread, or even the OPs posts?

I don't get what you mean?

YANBU. My stepdaughter has always wanted us to have her daughter - now 16 - on days out, holidays etc. Never sent her with any money to spend, never thought of contributing for expenses. We just stopped doing it.

I think it used to be code on here for indulging in some less than plain vanilla marital fun…..🤣

Can someone fill me in: what is Center Parcs? Is it something big in this country?

Center - American spelling?
Parcs - French spelling?

I first heard of it when there was a big row about people being thrown out of it during the Queen's funeral. Is it like Nando's?

I have honestly never heard of it before. It sounds like it is a big thing.

Be honest tell her it’s your birthday & that your not Aunty charity case, if he wants to go he needs to book his own lodge & travel by himself he’s a big boy now; if she doesn’t like it tough luck she can always help with his costs & stay with him, freeloading family are like parasites always causing that guckinv itch that won’t piss if completely x

It’s a place to go on holiday hence the talk of how many rooms and the lodge she has.

You are not being unreasonable. In future only invite who you want to invite. I am an autistic adult and to me it sounds like your sister wants someone else to look after him so she can have a break. If you are in Bedfordshire or Hertfordshire I suggest your sister contacts Autism Bedfordshire or Autism Hertfordshire for support. If not in these areas she can contact local charities for help. It's your birthday and it's not fair everyone wants you to do things for them like inviting your aunt and nephew and being "babysitter chauffeur". Neurodivergence runs in families so all the odd shenanigans in your family could be because you have a lot of relatives with undiagnosed Autism and/or ADHD and all the fun that comes with that.

It's a holiday resort you go to if you enjoy anal sex.

@ncnc22

😂. Sudden surge in CP bookings reported, due to Mumsnet thread

Every person over 18 pays their portion and no to your nephew, it’s your birthday.

Maybe give your place up for your sister and then her son will be able to come also leave your child with their grandmother and aunt to be spoilt and you fly off somewhere warm?

What @ncnc22 said 😅😅

I wouldn't invite any family Haha

No you most certainly are NOT being unreasonable!!! Your sister should have suggested to at LEAST give him his own money (if he is still in baby mode and not working!! CP is expensive just for the villa never mind the activities and bikes that are essential for getting around the complex) its YOUR birthday and YOUR wishes and feelings that should be being considered here, not Dear Nephew's! Especially if he is the way you described! I mean.. would anyone here want an extra, out of the way, babysitting Job on their birthday??? I for one absolutely would not!!

Happy Birthday for the big day OP and it really is your choice, sissy will have to understand her boy will be adding extra pressure on finances, both in travel AND for bits to do while at CP!! - do not feel bad at all.

If Sissy offered to contribute towards petrol and all his activities, would you be willing to take him then? If the answer is still no because of the way he is, then i'd politely say as another person on here wrote and say it's an immediate family only break for you to spend quality time on YOUR day.

Please emphasise on it being YOUR day, not neph's or hers. Good luck!!

Your sister is being unreasonable.

Why doesn't he travel with his mother?

Practice your no so you can role model to your children. It’s a shame you didn’t say no to your aunt - promise yourself next holiday not even your parents are invited!!

I'm astonished that 3% of the people responding to this AIBU thought OP was being unreasonable. Clearly this is CF territory. Thinking about it from dsis's POV, I can believe that she would really like a break from an autistic 18 year old, but there are other ways to do that than imposing him on somebody with a young baby.