AIBU for not inviting family to Center Parcs?

[Saju1]

My sister is annoyed for not inviting her son (my nephew) to CP.

I have booked a lodge to celebrate my birthday, and there is room for 1 more person, however I don't want anyone else to come. The issue I have is that she treats my nephew like a child when he is an adult, therefore I am going to have to collect him and take him home, that adds an extra hour to the car journey (it already takes 1.5 hours) when I already have a young baby in a car. I am going to have to babysit and pay for all of their food and activities.

Also, my nephew doesn't call me on my birthday, so I feel like they just want a free holiday.

AIBU? If not, how do I tell her I can't take him?

He's 18, not sure why he'd want to go to CP with you anyway, all sounds a bit odd

Why on earth would you invite your nephew if your sister isn't going? Very strange. YANBU.

We are missing part of the story here. Does your sister take your child away with her? Why would you take her (adult) child?

"Hahaha could you imagine babysitting an 18 year old man on our family break? Poor lad he'd feel so awkward!"

"ah, no, we're just having a little family break not dragging everyone along. I'm actually really looking forward to it being just us"

"planning some very loud drunk sex, would scar him for life haha!"

"ah, no, that wouldn't work this time"

This makes no sense. Why would she think you would invite him? Who else is going? Who does she take on her holidays?

@Ragwort so it's my parents, partner and baby going. We had to get a bigger villa due to my aunt going (my mum begged for them to go) my aunt told my sister we were going. My sister seems to think that because I am his aunt I have to pay for everything.

Well your sister's expectations are so far off what a reasonable person's would be that she doesn't deserve any other response than 'No I'm not doing that.'

so it's my parents, partner and baby going

and your aunt? How many bedrooms?

Just tell your sister that won’t be happening and you can’t afford to pay for another adult to go. It’s not your responsibility to pay for/collect/entertain anyone else’s offspring.

Do you think your mum will ‘beg’ for your nephew to go as well?

So the 18 year old's grandparents? Would they pay for and entertain him? Would he want to be with this group on holiday?

@RumpleDumple the same happened when I went to the lake District, except he had his sister to distract him. This is how I know he will be dependent on me paying.

Does he have SN?

You just say no! “Sis, nephew is 18 and this is not a holiday an 18 yr old is going to enjoy, nor can I afford to pay for him. If you want him to go on holiday, then you take him.”

My mum doesn't mind him going, but I feel like I want as much of a care free holiday as I can. Looking after a baby is hectic, and having to look after an 18 year old is not what I want to do that week

@Greydogs123 yes

Is he at home with your sister, and he’s useless, jobless and a brat by any chance?

She’s prob desperate to get rid of this freeloading manchild.

No way I’d be taking him unless there was some kind of precedent she’d set by taking mine.

18 year old, tut, what’s she thinking.

Your whole family sound like pisstakers

I have booked a lodge to celebrate my birthday, and there is room for 1 more person

I don’t get why this is even a problem. Have you ring her and said, ‘there is a spare bedroom in our holiday lodge and I just don’t know what to do!?’

Presumably it’s 4-bed? Mum/dad, aunt, you/DH? Then put the baby in the fourth and job done. All rooms full. Nobody else can come. So, you don’t invite him, you don’t collect him. Isn’t he at school/university anyway?

Are your parent/aunt paying their own way or do they want you to pay for them too?

If you feel like you can't just say no (it sounds like your family have bulldozer personalities and you'd end up giving up) you could like and say the baby has been sleeping really badly so you and your partner will be taking it in turns to sleep in the spare room so you can catch up on sleep.

Or invent a family member from your partner's side who cancels last minute. Such a shame.

I don't usually lie, but I have no problem with lying to people who won't accept no for an answer. Not everyone can stand firm in the face of people like that.

Exactly!

Not that he should be there if you don't want him there but why would you have to look after an 18 year old and why would it fall on you to pay for him whilst he's there?

Jesus, are you responsible for the happiness of all your extended family?
With a new baby, you need to nip that in the bus ASAP.

herefore I am going to have to collect him and take him home, that adds an extra hour to the car journey (it already takes 1.5 hours) when I already have a young baby in a car. I am going to have to babysit and pay for all of their food and activities

Don’t offer and if she asks say no. Problem solved! She can’t make you drive to collect him and pay for him all holiday!

Are you going to update with any more information? Has she actually asked you? What did you say?

So your Mum has modelled demanding family dynamics and your sister is following suit. If you don't say no this will be your life.

Well if he has SN and other extended family members are going that changes the whole tone of why she might hope you’d take him but you are still perfectly reasonable for not wanting to have him there. Just say sorry but no.

have to say posters that post one sentence posts missing the most pertinent details are infuriating and it’s just tedious trying to unpick what the actual family dynamic is.

Are his parents hoping you and the grandparents are going to offer to take him and give them a break?