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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lift for 5 years - AIBU?

921 replies

Pinot4me · 28/11/2022 20:07

I go to a hobby / interest 4 times a year. It’s a 60 mile round trip but it’s worth it. I really enjoy it and have met some lovely people.
We always go for a meal afterwards. I can never drink because I am always driving. 5 years ago somebody from the same village as me joined the group. She isn’t really a friend, more a neighbour that I am friendly with. She drove herself there for the first couple of times and then asked me if I would give her a lift. I naturally assumed that we would lift share but it just never happened.
She has never offered to drive me or contributed towards my fuel costs. So, basically we all go out and she has several drinks with her meal and I can only have one small one and we leave.

I have taken some annual leave next week and I asked her if she would drive as I really fancied having a few drinks for a change. She very reluctantly agreed but it was awkward and I could see she wasn’t keen.
She has messaged me today saying that she can’t imagine going out and not being able to have a few drinks (grim ) and that she had booked a taxi at a cost of £80 return. She then said so, half n half £40 each..

AIBU to be annoyed? I can’t afford £40 and I think she is cheeky to ask given that she has had free lifts for 5 years!

I’ve composed the following response but haven’t sent it yet… I suppose I am sense checking in case I am the one who is being unreasonable.

“ I can confirm that is indeed pretty grim to drive whilst everyone else drinks. It is what I do every time we go. I’m not up for sharing a taxi - I can’t afford it. Don’t worry about it, I will see you there”.

I honestly don’t feel inclined to give her a lift in future but don’t want the hassle of feeling awkward or causing upset.

Thoughts please.

OP posts:
EmmaAgain22 · 28/11/2022 21:29

She'll probably act all butt hurt and say she'd have paid petrol money if you'd asked. In which case, say there's no reason she can't pay it now!

oakleaffy · 28/11/2022 21:29

redbigbananafeet · 28/11/2022 21:23

"So if it's £40 each per round trip that means you owe me ... £800"

👏👏👏👏Absolutely this!!

oakleaffy · 28/11/2022 21:31

Speakingofdinosaurs · 28/11/2022 21:10

If OP gets a cheap room & stays over she’ll be asked by CF if it has twin beds - so she can share. 😂

Or worse- A Double!

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/11/2022 21:32

Send the message.

She's a cheeky mare!

ttcttc · 28/11/2022 21:32

@oakleaffy and then ask why Op hasn't paid for her breakfast when she bought her own!

surreygirl1987 · 28/11/2022 21:32

Well done OP!

BirdyWoof · 28/11/2022 21:34

Shinyandnew1 · 28/11/2022 21:15

Would anyone like a little side bet that the CF will ask for a lift home from the event rather than pay out for the taxi ?

Almost certainly! And will ask in front of lots of other people in the hope that OP will be a pushover and agree to the lift to avoid a confrontation.

Absolutely but at this point if I was OP I wouldn’t even bother with a excuse, I’d just say “I’m not able to do so” and then move on.

I’d also probably leave slightly early after saying goodbyes to the others I like so she can’t awkwardly follow her to her car and pull some emotional blackmail shit on OP. At least then when she goes for her last ditch beg, you’ll be already away and the daft mare will have to hassle someone else or god forbid, pay for a taxi.

Suemademedoit · 28/11/2022 21:35

Shinyandnew1 · 28/11/2022 21:15

Would anyone like a little side bet that the CF will ask for a lift home from the event rather than pay out for the taxi ?

Almost certainly! And will ask in front of lots of other people in the hope that OP will be a pushover and agree to the lift to avoid a confrontation.

Yes OP, you have to have an answer ready for this. I would go with something that embarrasses her. A straight up “I thought I’d made it clear that I’ve ended your 5-year run if free taxi rides from me? I suggest you call the taxi that you wanted to charge me £40 for tonight. Wish I had that kind od money to spend on taxis AND booze on top”.

oakleaffy · 28/11/2022 21:35

ttcttc · 28/11/2022 21:32

@oakleaffy and then ask why Op hasn't paid for her breakfast when she bought her own!

Haaaha! 😂

TempyBrennan · 28/11/2022 21:37

I really wanna know what the hobby is 😂

HermioneKipper · 28/11/2022 21:37

Well done! It’s the stuff of dreams calling out these absolute chamfers.

What a rude baggage. Can’t believe she’s never offered you money or a lift in return all these years 😡

blubberyboo · 28/11/2022 21:37

Well done OP and if she asks for a lift home just say you’ve made plans to stay/ visit a relative in another direction

mellicauli · 28/11/2022 21:38

oakleaffy · 28/11/2022 21:29

👏👏👏👏Absolutely this!!

60 miles @ 45p a mile (standard HMRC rates) once a week for 5 years is £7,020. So she owes you half of that (£3,510). £800 would be generous

dawnfromgavinandstacey · 28/11/2022 21:41

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 28/11/2022 20:55

I'd treat yourself to a stay over because if you don't, and she manages to make her way there, she will hit you up for a ride home. Mark my words.

Yes she will! I'd book a travelodge or whatever and not tell her.

She skiing's like that much of a cheeky fucker that she will get a cheaper taxi there and want a ride home.

Her face will be a picture when you tell her you not driving back that night.

Shinyandnew1 · 28/11/2022 21:41

mellicauli · 28/11/2022 21:38

60 miles @ 45p a mile (standard HMRC rates) once a week for 5 years is £7,020. So she owes you half of that (£3,510). £800 would be generous

It’s only 4 times a year, but still taking the piss big time!

Justtheonethanks9099 · 28/11/2022 21:41

Suemademedoit · 28/11/2022 21:35

Yes OP, you have to have an answer ready for this. I would go with something that embarrasses her. A straight up “I thought I’d made it clear that I’ve ended your 5-year run if free taxi rides from me? I suggest you call the taxi that you wanted to charge me £40 for tonight. Wish I had that kind od money to spend on taxis AND booze on top”.

"No, cheeky bitch, I'm not heading straight home. See ya."
(Bolts to car, steps on it)

pictish · 28/11/2022 21:42

TempyBrennan · 28/11/2022 21:37

I really wanna know what the hobby is 😂

Me too!

BMW6 · 28/11/2022 21:44

"FUCK OFF FREELOADER" should do it.

Cluelessdiyer · 28/11/2022 21:44

Hrje

oakleaffy · 28/11/2022 21:44

mellicauli · 28/11/2022 21:38

60 miles @ 45p a mile (standard HMRC rates) once a week for 5 years is £7,020. So she owes you half of that (£3,510). £800 would be generous

Wow- Yes, that really is a lot.
I think what made me realise how cheeky it is not to pay halves on fuel was a friend I had as a teenager
He sold his car and used a racing bike as jecsaid he was sick to death of people using him as a free taxi service.
He was a good natured lad, and found it hard to say ‘No’.

ApolloandDaphne · 28/11/2022 21:44

I can't believe she didn't get the point. What a CF.

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 28/11/2022 21:45

Some people are totally lacking self awareness! She probably genuinely can't see a problem with the way things always were and doesn't think it's reasonable for you to change the plan this year 🙄🥴

Ihatethenewlook · 28/11/2022 21:46

Pm for the pure cheeky fuckery

Thisusernameisfree · 28/11/2022 21:47

I can't believe she had the cheek to suggest you pay half after all the driving you've done in the past!

Does she have any money concerns? Did someone else at the club suggest you give her a lift since you were already going". Just trying to work out how on earth someone would think that's acceptable not to contribute to petrol money... Unless as others have said she's a bit dim!!

ThePoshUns · 28/11/2022 21:48

Good for you OP. What a cheek!