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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lift for 5 years - AIBU?

921 replies

Pinot4me · 28/11/2022 20:07

I go to a hobby / interest 4 times a year. It’s a 60 mile round trip but it’s worth it. I really enjoy it and have met some lovely people.
We always go for a meal afterwards. I can never drink because I am always driving. 5 years ago somebody from the same village as me joined the group. She isn’t really a friend, more a neighbour that I am friendly with. She drove herself there for the first couple of times and then asked me if I would give her a lift. I naturally assumed that we would lift share but it just never happened.
She has never offered to drive me or contributed towards my fuel costs. So, basically we all go out and she has several drinks with her meal and I can only have one small one and we leave.

I have taken some annual leave next week and I asked her if she would drive as I really fancied having a few drinks for a change. She very reluctantly agreed but it was awkward and I could see she wasn’t keen.
She has messaged me today saying that she can’t imagine going out and not being able to have a few drinks (grim ) and that she had booked a taxi at a cost of £80 return. She then said so, half n half £40 each..

AIBU to be annoyed? I can’t afford £40 and I think she is cheeky to ask given that she has had free lifts for 5 years!

I’ve composed the following response but haven’t sent it yet… I suppose I am sense checking in case I am the one who is being unreasonable.

“ I can confirm that is indeed pretty grim to drive whilst everyone else drinks. It is what I do every time we go. I’m not up for sharing a taxi - I can’t afford it. Don’t worry about it, I will see you there”.

I honestly don’t feel inclined to give her a lift in future but don’t want the hassle of feeling awkward or causing upset.

Thoughts please.

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 28/11/2022 21:09

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 28/11/2022 20:55

I'd treat yourself to a stay over because if you don't, and she manages to make her way there, she will hit you up for a ride home. Mark my words.

This!!!
Treat yourself make a night of it!

CloudBusted · 28/11/2022 21:10

Well done. I was too slow with my idea. Hope she learns a lesson but CFs often just don’t see it.

Speakingofdinosaurs · 28/11/2022 21:10

If OP gets a cheap room & stays over she’ll be asked by CF if it has twin beds - so she can share. 😂

NadjaCravensworth · 28/11/2022 21:11

Scottishskifun · 28/11/2022 21:09

This!!!
Treat yourself make a night of it!

Oh no, it would be more fun to jauntily wave as you drive past..... Even better if it was raining

viques · 28/11/2022 21:12

Would anyone like a little side bet that the CF will ask for a lift home from the event rather than pay out for the taxi ?😀

Stay strong OP, you have the power of mumsnet behind you .

IfIGoThereWillBeTrouble · 28/11/2022 21:13

amiold · 28/11/2022 20:12

Your message is fine

Think I'd be inclined to add "I wish someone had halved the cost with me all the times Ive footed the bill for travel"

Good idea

SalviaOfficinalis · 28/11/2022 21:14

Well done OP

Booklover3 · 28/11/2022 21:14

Good! Of course you aren’t being unreasonable!!

Shinyandnew1 · 28/11/2022 21:15

Would anyone like a little side bet that the CF will ask for a lift home from the event rather than pay out for the taxi ?

Almost certainly! And will ask in front of lots of other people in the hope that OP will be a pushover and agree to the lift to avoid a confrontation.

Bemyclementine · 28/11/2022 21:16

Definitely be prepared for the CF to try and get a lift home.

Sisisimone · 28/11/2022 21:16

The absolute cheek of her! Be prepared for her to get a taxi there and expect a lift back OP. We'll done on calling her out on her cheekyfuckery!

cleanfreak12345 · 28/11/2022 21:17

I would suggest that you never give this freeloader a lift ever again

Not only is she not a friend, she doesn't offer any fuel money and never offers to drive you there instead

The one time you've asked for a lift she doesn't want to know

This sort of arrangement really should have been taking it in turns with the driving so that every other week you don't drive and can drink, also saving fuel yourself

pictish · 28/11/2022 21:17

Ah ha haa she’s not going to shell out £80 for a taxi. She’ll have to drive.
Ohh she’ll be kicking herself now.
Watch out for her making this your problem btw.

redbigbananafeet · 28/11/2022 21:18

Shinyandnew1 · 28/11/2022 20:26

Even if she offers now, it’s going to be awkward

Why? I wouldn’t be giving her a lift if speaking to her again after that message, so no awkwardness!

I think OP means if the CF offers to drive it's been an awkward car journey x

Whydothat · 28/11/2022 21:18

Well done op. She is definitely going to try and get lift from you again.

RandomMess · 28/11/2022 21:20

No good deed goes unpunished!!

Noodlehen · 28/11/2022 21:21

Your first post made me so furious that I skipped all the other posts just to see your updates and now I’m even angrier. What a cheeky cow! Please do keep us all updated.

Meltingsocks · 28/11/2022 21:23

OP you're my personal hero!

redbigbananafeet · 28/11/2022 21:23

"So if it's £40 each per round trip that means you owe me ... £800"

OnlyFannys · 28/11/2022 21:23

Well done OP I love it when a CF shoots themselves in the foot, for the sake.of not drinking now and then she has made it so she cant drink any time she goes by being a selfish cow. Fabulous own goal.

StreamingCervix · 28/11/2022 21:24

Well done op, stick to your guns. She might have some bluster about how mean you’ve been, but it’s just because she obviously won’t be able to handle being in the wrong.

HandbagsnGladrags · 28/11/2022 21:24

Am FEWMIN for you! Book the Premier Inn. And don't let the cheeky bitch share your room.

oakleaffy · 28/11/2022 21:28

@Pinot4me My word- Astonishing that she never once offered to lift share with her driving or her paying petrol-
Great response!

murasaki · 28/11/2022 21:28

Well done.

MeridianB · 28/11/2022 21:29

So proud of you, OP!

It’s so refreshing to find threads where people stand up for themselves. Hope you have a lovely, easy solo trip. 🚗