Adult ADHD - anyone else fed up of the constant battle.and of constantly losing it?

[WhoHasMovedMyBrain]

EVery evening I think that the next day will.be different. That I'll do my work, work when I have to, that I won't stuff my face, that I won't be late, that I'll tick off at least one tiny little.thing on.my.to. do.list. and every day I fail. I'm winging life because I've got a very organised and hard working husband, a very supportive family who have always carried me and because I can sort of.work when I'm.in dire straits..just before a deadline comes crashing down. I'm.so.fed up of the constant stress,.the constant self loathing, constantly underperforming, constantly fighting a losing battle. I feel.as.if..im.wasting my life away.

My psychiatrist is happy to prescribe meds but before.that I need to.make an appointment with my gp to get some blood tests done and I just can't do it. I can't.make the appointment to.do.the blood tests. I mean how stupid can you get?

And now I'm so late to.pick up DC that I can't have a shower. Though I've been looking forward to.it all day.

I know.im.lucky and. I've got it better than most so.i hate complaining but I hate my brain..I don't care if it's ADHD or.if I'm.just lazy, crazy and stupid but i hate being this way.

Can anyone relate?

I essentially got fired for this, post diagnosis but was too naive at the time to fight for my accommodations. Suicidal at the time. Wish I'd taken the bastards to the cleaners under the DDA.

Galls me a bit these days when I see the firm posting all over socials about employee mental health and diversity.

@OMG12 honestly, I'm actually amazed I'm still alive.

I’ve searched the internet and there’s loads and loads of stories about people with adhd being unable to complete timesheets, literally unable to do it. This has been my nemesis for 20 odd years, I could cry knowing there’s a reason rather than just being useless (writing this whilst I should be doing my timesheet)

Mine is expenses. I hate them. Never ever manage to do it right.

There's a wee app called Session on the apple app store. It lets you track what you are working in, and plays nice music to help you focus.
I paid for it for the first year, £30 app but it saved me that in the first week, by tracking what I was doing!

I found it by trawling the app store in the vain hope of finding something anything to help me focus and get stuff done at work.

Might be worth a look, there's a free cut down version too.

Ugh, timesheets. Terrible.

I still need to claim mileage back for a work thing I attended and my company's cut-off for claims is three months, which is in a week's time. The worst part is that it's a pretty small claim so my ADHD is whispering in my ear to just write it off

@OMG12 timesheets and spreadsheets are an absolute nightmare for me. I hate them so much, which is not fun when I have to use them to send info for my tax return. :(

im with you, each cell is like it’s own version of hell.

I don’t think I’ve ever managed to claim expenses for anything. I’m just incapable of it. The systems are always opaque. I can never remember how to use them. Figuring out the sodding cost code will prevent me from claiming. Remembering to keep receipts. All awful.

I hate time sheets too. Loathe them. I only recently started having to do them and I’m shocking at it. Bad enough trying to remember to do the thing weekly, but if I can’t attribute the whole day to a project I really struggle. Same with ensuring I have all the right project codes. Luckily I’m currently 100% assigned to one project so I can just put in whole days every day.

I’m dire at admin.

I think what it is I can’t conceptualise a link between task undertaken and time spent

Yes! It is quite an abstract idea. Luckily I don't have to use timesheets, but find the idea quite baffling. I suspect it is one of those things that NT people just do without any deep thought, but my brain would ask a lot of questions. Also, because some days I am ultra focused and others I am a bit of a space cadet it skews everything - plus being focused doesn't necessarily get more done, as I tend to go deeper into things than I need to and spend lots of time making something 'perfect'. So I waste time in both modes! I think I also have ASD, so my brain would want the timesheet to be accurate too - I would be anxious about saying 'I did this for an hour', when I'd also made a coffee, popped to the loo, etc, during that hour.

Thanks for this thread - I have a diagnosis of ADHD.
The Timesheets thing resonates - I think it's due to us holding ourselves to very high standards - I have worked in jobs requiring timesheets most of my long career and it still has me full of stress and guilt - but I think that's a facet of honesty, too.
I suspect colleagues just make it all up without caring.
One of the cleverest people I ever worked with once said to me "If you think about it, the idea that every single day will have exactly 8 hours of concentrated work in it is ludicrous in most (not all) jobs"

I have just been diagnosed with ADHD by a private assessment.
The letter from the clinic tells me I must inform the DVLA about the diagnosis and whether that or the medication affect my ability to drive safely. Is this just a routine thing - I live in the countryside with no public transport so being unable to drive would be a disaster.

I wasn’t told this. I’d been driving for 20 years before my diagnosis without any issue so there’s no need for them to know.

Unless your diagnosis specifically mentions that your ADHD is severe and significantly impacts you, I don’t see how it matters?

there’s more info on this link, but again my ADHD doesn’t impact my driving so I don’t see the need www.gov.uk/adhd-and-driving

This gets said a lot on ADHD groups on FB and panic ensues.

Unless it’s changed recently I’m sure it’s that you only need to tell them IF it affects your driving.

I posted a few weeks ago and wanted to share that today I received my diagnosis. I hope, hope that this means life might get a little easier but I'm also really sad that I've spent so long thinking I'm just inadequate.

Hugs OP. Well done on getting your diagnosis as well, for me it was the beginning of the path to self-discovery, understanding myself more, and being kinder to myself

Sorry this was meant for @Auntiedear

Just a win for me this week - I've finally managed to rearrange my bedroom so it's more user friendly. Took a while, but I feel like I've won a little bit. I namechanged from dolor to this because it seems more apt.

Well done discobrain sounds like a big win, anything to make life easier!

Anyone battling with their employers for reasonable adjustments? I've been assessed by Access To Work and also an Occupational Health Physician and they've both recommended Dragon Software. I spend sooo much time thinking about what to type, trying to refocus etc that by the time I've typed up a report I'm mentally drained and working (unpaid) overtime. I know this can be costly but ATW will fund 80% of it, while my employer keeps trying to put me off and make it seem like it'll be a hindrance. Why is it such a battle to want to have the same work output as others in the same timeframe?! Pricks 😡

I got my diagnosis today.

It was through the NHS and I had to wait about 7 months for the appointment.

The psychiatrist is referring me for an online coping course.

He also wants me to have physical examination and monitor blood pressure to see if I am suitable for meds.

It feels a lot to take in but finally I feel like there is an explanation for how I am . I am not lazy and weird.

My job takes up so much of my energy to mask and compensate for my symptoms that it explains why I am so wiped out most of the time.

@takemebacktothe1990s did you get any adjustments ?

I start a new job very soon so will have to talk to my new boss about my diagnosis.

It’s exhausting. I was diagnosed one year ago and its taken me until this week to start medication due to me needing lots of health checks and the nhs making everything cripplingly slow. Thats one year of admin/chasing/remembering appointments which is practically impossible when you have adhd. All while being a single mum. Is there anyone you can ask to help you with practicalities? You have to prioritise this because it will make everything else so much easier. (Easier said than done i know)

I will have to make sure I prioritise getting it sorted.

I am a single parent with no financial help so I have to make sure I don’t jeopardise my income . My house and other things are in a shit state as I just don’t have the energy to manage much apart from working and paying bills.

I've finally taken the first step and seen my GO. DD received her diagnosis in July and it spurred me on to get mine in check! I've done an initial questionnaire ASRS which I scored 6 in which apparently gives a strong indication of ADHD. Now just to wait....

I think there is a gap in the market for an ADHD coach. Getting us on track with meds, habits routines and general adulting that we find so difficult