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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil took DS without car seat

346 replies

Cybermondayyay · 28/11/2022 11:21

Can I ask how would you feel if your MIL took out your 7 month old son out without a car seat?

OH argue she’s peer pressured into thing’s by FIL and always has been. Doesn’t want to bring it up to her as she’s very sensitive and will upset her!

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 28/11/2022 11:22

How on earth did this happen?

Sprouttreesareamazing · 28/11/2022 11:23

Send the 3 of them links to fatal car accidents involving dc... Fuck I would be livid..

GreenWasTheColour · 28/11/2022 11:23

Her feelings are not what matters here. You either bring it up in no uncertain terms or she never, ever has your child unsupervised again.

Coffeaddict · 28/11/2022 11:23

Well she wouldn't be left alone again with my child I'd she did that.

Absolutely not OK

Takingabreakagain · 28/11/2022 11:23

MIL would never look after my child again. If she is that easily led over something so dangerous what else could happen?

Fladdermus · 28/11/2022 11:23

They'd never be allowed unsupervised access to my child again. And my DH would be given the bollocking of his life over him prioritising not upsetting his mother over keeping our child alive.

DailyMailHater · 28/11/2022 11:24

How would I feel…..I would be fuming and would be questioning if I could trust her not to do it again.

honestly I am not sure I could forgive my child being but in danger like that.

Nevermind31 · 28/11/2022 11:24

Of course you need to bring it up to both mil and fil. This is not acceptable- why don’t they have a car seat if they are looking after him?
is OH not concerned?

Pictograph · 28/11/2022 11:24

This is really bad OP. You must put your foot down. DS can't travel in a car with them if they refuse to use a car seat.

ApolloandDaphne · 28/11/2022 11:24

I assume she took him in the car? I would be horrified and would never allow her to take him out again unless she could be trusted to strap him safely into a seat. It is the law that they must be safely secured. Whether she is influenced by FIL is neither here nor there. The safety of your child is paramount.

wewishyouamerrychristmas · 28/11/2022 11:24

Oh god that is really bad. Id not allow her access by herself again. Id be really angry too. No excuses for that.

flai · 28/11/2022 11:25

Oh no, that’s awful! Was she just sat holding him?

EndlessRain · 28/11/2022 11:25

How did this happen? Was she holding him in the car?

For me they would not be left in charge of him alone again. This is a huge error in judgement and I simply would not be able to trust them. so dangerous, and so unnecessary.

doodlejump1980 · 28/11/2022 11:26

How did she hold your child? Unforgivable. Were they strapped in in any way??

PeekAtYou · 28/11/2022 11:27

If she is in an abusive relationship where FIL pressures her into making dangerous decisions then you make sure that her contact is supervised. No car seat is extremely serious and on the same level as neglectful behaviour like not giving medicine or feeding a child. By supervising her time with your child, you make sure that FIL can't bully her into harmful behaviour.

spotsmix · 28/11/2022 11:27

In the car? Not acceptable. Bus or train? Not an issue

Remaker · 28/11/2022 11:28

Dear god. You want her to be upset. She needs to feel very, very upset at the terrible decision she made. And realise that it could have jeopardised her future relationship with her GC, not to mention risking his life.

I think I would buy a car seat for their car and have it professionally installed. And make it very clear this is never to be repeated. Also give your husband a swift kick. What’s more important- his mother’s feelings or his baby’s life?

Climbie · 28/11/2022 11:29

Took him "out" how?

SquigglePigs · 28/11/2022 11:29

I often think some of the responses on here about never letting Grandparents have the grandkids again are ott after a relatively small incident but something like this... No way would they have my child alone again. And I'd be seriously considering any sort of meaningful relationship if they were willing to take that sort of a risk with their grandchild's safety. I'm shocked your DH is minimising it so much.

PossiblyOverstepping · 28/11/2022 11:29

i Thought you were going to say the child was 7 years!! 7 months… no no no no no

savehannah · 28/11/2022 11:29

Absolutely unacceptable. I would be saying she can't take him anywhere in future unless I see him strapped into a safe, suitable car seat.

JennyForeigner · 28/11/2022 11:30

I would be fucking furious and no, they would never ever get care of my kids again. Not even when the kids were old enough to vote.

There's stupid and then there is so unbelievable dangerous and cavalier that it becomes a whole new category.

Also get a new partner because yours is broken. What an idiot.

SkylightSkylight · 28/11/2022 11:31

doodlejump1980 · 28/11/2022 11:26

How did she hold your child? Unforgivable. Were they strapped in in any way??

There was no child seat.

how do you imagine they might be strapped in?

RoyKeaneisRight · 28/11/2022 11:33

I don't care how upset she'd be I would be livid, and would let her know. I'd never allow them to take DC in the car again, in fact if this is their attitude to something as absolutely necessary as a case seat I'd be very worried about their attitude to safety of my DC in general.

BeardieWeirdie · 28/11/2022 11:34

Fuck her feelings (and your husbands’ if he’s minimising this so as not to upset mummy). My child would never be entrusted into their care again.