Mil took DS without car seat

[Cybermondayyay]

Can I ask how would you feel if your MIL took out your 7 month old son out without a car seat?

OH argue she’s peer pressured into thing’s by FIL and always has been. Doesn’t want to bring it up to her as she’s very sensitive and will upset her!

Would it not have been a better idea to leave the car seat with the baby? Otherwise it is a bit restrictive for MIL

I am a granny to a baby who is nearly 5 months old. I grew up in the era of no seatbelts - when I was little, the car didn’t have any seatbelts, and then cars started to have front seatbelts but no rear ones, so mum and dad were safely strapped in while dsis and I were loose in the back. I even remember dsis stretching out along the back seat to sleep, and me having to perch on the edge.

But once rear seatbelt kits became available in the UK, dad had them fitted, and dsis and I were actually in four point harnesses - which made me car sick, but safe.

By the time my dses were born, seatbelts for every passenger were compulsory, and all three had proper car seats, properly fitted.

So I could well be the same generation as the OP’s in-laws, and have the same experience of the history of seatbelts and car seats in the UK, and there is no way I would take my precious grandchild on my knee in the back of the car, unless it was an emergency and there was NO other option. So I don’t think there is any excuse for the OP’s PIL or BIL. Unless they have been living in a cave for more than 30 years, they have no excuse for not knowing the law, or the reasons for the law.

Why didn’t you leave a car seat with them in the first place OP?

I'd have left the car seat with the baby (unless it's isofix and il's car didn't have it, or one that requires a base - they're the only reasons I can think of for not doing), but that'd be the last time mil would have my child alone for quite some time!

@saraclara well focus on EVERYONE ELSE TOO AND STOP SINGLING ME OUT FFS!

@SnackSizeRaisin
Thats just lunacy, esp as it's the driver who is held responsible for the child. And the driver who gets the 3 penalty points.

I'll let my kids do short taxi trips without carseats, it's not always practical to take seats with you.
Twice two days when emergency situations have caught me out, both times I risk assessed in my head and concluded that I'd argue my case in court if I needed to.

In an accident, even with a speed as low as 30mph, DS would become a projectile with a weight of around 200kg and therefore MIL would be unable to hold on to him, he'd most likely end up going through the windscreen. He'd likely already be internally decapitated from the force of the impact though, so at least he wouldn't suffer.
Is that really not enough to convince you to 'find your voice'? It's your responsibility to keep him safe, not keep the peace.
And yes, that would still happen in a taxi, despite it being legal.

This is the most ridiculous and OTT response I have seen on this thread so far

No it's not OTT. Read the previous response of what happens to an infant in even a low speed collision. If there is no suitable seat then the child does not go in the car. The introduction and legislation around car seats has lead to a steady and substantial decline in vehicle deaths of kids under 5.

injuryfacts.nsc.org/motor-vehicle/historical-fatality-trends/deaths-by-age-group/

Also the grandparents have broken the here so 101 is not an over the top reaction

It's a bit pointless phoning the police after the event nothing the police can do.

However if BIL is regularly driving his own kids around without car seats it's worthwhile giving them the tip-off with details on the car he drives and where and when he's likely to be in the car with kids.

What is in the Ops control is not letting the ILs have control of any of her kids.

Can I ask what you feel is ott? I'm not goading I'm interested, as it is illegal for an infant to be in a car without a car seat unless there are exceptional circumstances. Going to dinner is not an exceptional circumstance. And I would not allow them to have my child again when they show such poor safety judgement.

I understand that it would be after the fact, however with dh not supporting the op it may wake him up to have details of what would happen if the police were involved at the time. I did say the non emergency line as well so that police time is not wasted.

The question is what could or would the police do?
My thoughts is nothing, they are hardly going to track the ILs down to give them a talking too.

With regards to their own baby and children best bet is just don't let ILs babysit.

I reported exh for not using a seat when ds was 3. They pulled him over. He said he was just going to the local shop - he had been on the A1 for 30 miles...police were not arsed at all... He did it all the time.

@Sprouttreesareamazing I'm surprised they went to the bother of pulling him and not doing him. Thats an easy one for them to hit their targets. Are you sure he didn't get a fine & points?

Wow that's appalling! My child would not be going in a car without a car seat and she's nearly 8!
By the way, a child needs to weigh 22kg or more in order to use a booster. If they get pulled over they'll be in a heap of trouble!

He's lying, he will have got points & a fine

Police themselves justified his short journey. Said he only had to use a seat if one was available and he didn't have one...

@Sprouttreesareamazing how long ago did that happen? The car seat laws were tightened up about 3 or 4 years ago.

The short unexpected journey loop hole was removed (it had only been put in so people didn't end up driving past a neighbour because they didn't have a seat)

Was 15 years ago. Exh was above the law in his own eyes. Seems he was too. Really pd me off.

Luckily he wasn't above The Grim Reaper....
My ils were never allowed to take dc anywhere. Times I had mil never got out of second gear and she wore glasses to help fil with his driving. .
Surprisingly their ds agreed with me.

I don't find it unbelievable at all. For a start, some people are infuriatingly stuck in the past, with their childhood memories of 10 children being piled up in the footwells and boot of their parent's saloon car. I recently discovered that my mother didn't even know that seatbelts are compulsory for backseat passengers. I said, "mum, that's been the law since I was a child, so at least the mid-90s". She argued that it definitely wasn't the law back then 🙄It became law in 1991. Thankfully the conversation came about because she got flung into the footwell when the driver braked sharply, not a child.

MIL is a bit better, and does have an array of different-sized car seats for her grandchildren, but they are all bought from car boot sales, very old, and some of them are so flimsy that I cannot see what use they would be in anything but the mildest of shunts. She seems to have the view that the main purpose of car seats is to follow the letter of the law so you don't get a fine if you get pulled over, and protecting the child is an extra "nice-to-have".

Did you say anything in the end op? 🤔

The Car seat laws have been tightened up since then. You wouldn't get away with saying it was a short trip.
There is still an exemtion for emergency buy that's about it.