To think 3 days compassionate leave is appalling

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How much do you think people should be given?

Then she definitely needs time off for mental health reasons how is an employer meant to make a judgement in this extreme circumstances?

In those circumstances three days seems stingy. However, she may wish to come to work. People cope in different ways.

In those circumstances, sick leave would be more appropriate.

Employer is aware of the tragic circumstances and that she is not processing it very well and not in a good way. Company makes millions and doesn't struggle money wise. No annual leave left this late in the year and bills that need paying so can't take unpaid time off

This pretty much.
I took 1 day for grandparents, 6 weeks for my partner.
Work were happy with the 6 weeks and paid me in full.
Pet leave? No. That makes a mockery of it.

A 'young girl'? Working? How young? Obviously anyone in such tragic circumstances is likely to need more time off than that, but why is she working at all if she's a young girl? Is she at school?

She’d get signed off sick x even if only sick pay better than unpaid leave.

That would be a reason for sickness. No question.

Who is the compassionate leave for? Is it leave taken from a job or a school? It depends on policy - I got 5 days when my parents died - but it takes a lot longer to organise a funeral, organise the death certificate etc so I had to take another 5 days as annual leave.

For many people pets are their family. Losing my dog was awful. I’d never judge anyone for taking a day, or more, off following the death of their dog.

She needs to take sick leave.
I didn’t take any compassionate leave and just took sick leave when my mum died under traumatic circumstances - I simply wasn’t fit for work.

I think it is standard, though some employers will be more liberal and allow longer if it was the death of a very close family member (parent, child etc.).

DH's employer offers the standard 3 days but he was off for a fortnight when each of his parents died. It wasn't questioned and nobody batted an eyelid. His pay was unaffected and nor did they deduct annual leave. It was at manager's discretion.

More recently, he had to fly abroad for the funeral of a member of the wider family, and just had a couple of days.

He also just had a couple of days when my Dad died, enough time to come to the funeral.

I think it is quite fair really, if managers apply empathy and common sense and the employees do not take the piss.

Do you not think early 20s is young to lose your mum? She's not in school but I class her as young. She has bills to pay like any other adult

It's terrible that's happened to her.
I think 3 days is pretty standard but it's the norm to then take time off sick and get signed off for as long as one needs.
There's no way she should be back in work after 3 days.

I understand many are saying sick leave is more appropriate but that simply just doesn't cover the cost of living right now. It's not a financial option. I just think at least 5 working days would give her time to get her head around it all

That must have been awful for her. Its a how long is a piece of string question depending on how the person copes, but how do you every even recover from seeing that. Grief can last days, weeks, months, a lifetime. Some people need to get straight back to work, some need a bit more time. A company offering 3 days as standard seems sensible, if longer is needed because you aren't coping then you get signed off by a doctor - if you can find one, you pull forward annual leave from next year's allocation or you take unpaid leave.

I got 3 days when my mum died. I remember thinking, 'is that it? That's all her life was worth?' and then 'im supposed to be over it in 3 days??'

Still can't get my head around the 3 day rule. I went back after my 3 days but absolutely wasn't ready and have no idea how I managed those first couple of months.

My manager is extremely particular with the rules. Now my head is out of the grief and a bit clearer and I've spoken to colleagues, what I should have done was go off sick for a few weeks after the 3 days were up, but at the time I didn't know this was ok to do, and as I didnt feel ill, taking sick leave didn't occur to me.

Managers need training on how to support those who have lost someone and should know to advise about sick leave etc.. and should try and use more discretion, IMO.

That’s not a young girl that’s a young woman.

Young girl does conjure up the image of perhaps a teenage child. Earrly twenties is a young adult.

That is if we want to be picky over the semantics.

Do you not think early 20s is young to lose your mum? She's not in school but I class her as young. She has bills to pay like any other adult
Its very young op. Most 20yos I know are still "looked after" by parents, especially those still in ft education.

OP, the poor thing. My sick leave is the same.rate as my normal pay as i am a salaried employee. Can you explain her circumstances a bit. Is her boss.sympathetic?

I wouldn’t expect to have to use annual leave or see a Dr for compassionate leave…. Certainly not for the death mother. I did have to use a couple of days leave for my MIL who lived 5 hours away from us ( which made it challenging) but I didn’t have that issue later on with FIL. I think I was given a week for my step-dad then further time off for the funeral. My line managers have mostly been great

I feel like the fixation on young girl or young woman is a bit irrelevant. Either way the traumatic circumstances are the main issue. I wrote the wrong word clearly.

My partner was diagnosed with terminal cancer off the oesophagus in August. He was only given weeks to live so I went off sick to care for him. He passed away on the 16th of November. I hope to go back to work within a week or so, as I need to get back to some sense of normality, but everybody is different.

She can self cert for 5 days then get a sick note from Dr this is quite a common thing to do after the unexpected death of a close relative