Hour many hours sleep at weekend

[sleepyrant]

I'm trying to establish what is normal for a grown adult male.

My DH seems to think that 12/ 15 hours is normal.

And that I am a nag/ unreasonable for suggesting that sleeping like a teenager is normal for a grown arsed male.

Should I LTB?

I meant DH gets up to take her 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It'd be something they could do together though 😁

Yes he is lazy.

I'm calling him out on it and that's why I'm being called a nag.

I get up at 5.30am mon - Friday. Most of it broken sleep . I dont go more then 3 or so hours before I wake up this is every night . I lay in at the weekend. My body naturally wakes me at weekends it's normally after a 10 hour sleep . Obviously my body needs this to catch up.
If my husband nagged me for this I'd tell him to get fucked.!!! It my bodies way of recouping after early starts and broken sleep during the week. No I'm not lazy nor a slob , my job is physically and mentally draining

I used to live with a girl at university who is narcoleptic. She actually used to fall asleep standing up.

It was really debilitating.

The problem is that you have already put up with it for 15yrs so why would anything change now?

What does he say or do if you suggest getting up early and doing something together?

And you would be right to be pissed off.
This is not my situation.

I wouldn't like this, I like to be up and things done and then have a relaxing afternoon.

I do wonder what answers you would have got if you said your children were babies or toddlers.

OP it would absolutely drive me nuts too! My partner doesn't sleep as many hours, as he goes to bed late. However, he sleeps in late. Didn't get up until 11.15 this morning, then watched TV for an hour then spent over 2 hours on the toilet. We have a 3 year old and it ruins our whole weekend. By the time he gets up, I've done all the house work, looked after our son all morning, taken him to the park. Partner said he'd take our son and DSS to the park, they left 20 mins ago and it's the earliest he could leave the house. Drives me nuts.

I know, it has been an on/ off row for years.

He will get up if I plan something specifically for the morning and functions perfectly well.

Totally different answers because it's a totally different scenario, I would imagine.

Babies and toddlers need parental involvement from the moment they wake up, whereas OP has teenagers who can generally be independent at the weekends.

So how does he get up for work if he needs so much sleep?

He doesn't come downstairs before 'logging on' . Works from home now. Has breakfast in his first 'break'.

When he was having to commute he was able to manage on less sleep otherwise he couldn't have held his job down.

Oh I'm sorry he's so lazy and inconsiderate.

He's not likely to change from my experience.

As others have said he's not going to be changing. Up to me if I'm prepared to continue putting up with it.

This is the top and bottom of it. It's a lonely place to be when your partner doesn't value time with you, where you have to do all of the planning to actually do something together and they never so.

Life is too short for that. He's not going to change now after this long.

Yep.

The point of this thread was to see if others agree that the amount of sleep he is having is unreasonable or excessive.

As he is claiming it is not unreasonable or excessive.

If either DH or me sleep in later than 8.30/9 on a weekend we're straight for the headache meds.
We definitely couldn't sleep in that late....
Although DH may doze off on the sofa in the early evening if the weather is shite and not much to be doing outside.

I think it's too much and if he works from home and then sleeps the majority of his weekend then when is he actually going outside the house?

My DH used to be like this, but we have children and a dog who are not just my responsibility.

he actually admits he functions better when he gets up with us in the morning. If he lazes about till midday in bed he feels worse for it.

If when the children are older he slips back into the sleeping all weekend we just wouldn't work as a couple.

I'm not a morning person at all, I despise my weekday 6.30 alarm. But I still wake naturally between 8-8.30 at weekend and I would hate to miss half of my two precious days off by sleeping. Yanbu. I couldn't live with someone who's only interest in life is sleeping. He needs to start pulling his weight.

The thing is, it's not about whether it's unreasonable or excessive. He thinks it isn't, you think it is - neither of you are right or wrong, you just have different views.

It's upto you whether it's a dealbreaker or not.

Me , DH and DD don't get up until 11 or 12 on the weekend. If no plans 🤣🤣🤣. It's bliss. Everyone has a different requirement for sleep some people are long sleepers. I'm narcoleptic so it's very important I have extra rest on my days off..

The thing is, it's not about whether it's unreasonable or excessive.

Well it kind of is.

If loads of people were coming on here and saying 'yes it's totally normal for people to need to sleep 10-15 hours per day', then I wouldn't have a leg to stand on by saying to him that I think it is excessive.

I know you sleep a lot, and I know that there can be health reasons for people to need sleep (which don't apply to my DH) , and that if people work long hard jobs with little sleep in the week they may need to catch up.

The fact is that he is choosing to sleep over spending time with me. As you said he is an adult that is his choice.

There is a big difference between choosing to spend your life in bed and needing to be there for health reasons when it comes to relationships with other people.

But the impact on you is the same regardless.

I don't understand why you're so keen to prove one of you is being unreasonable. It doesn't matter. He likes to sleep in at weekends, you don't - nothing anyone says is going to make any difference to that.

Some people especially on their day's off aren't naturally early risers. I'm more of a night owl especially when unmedicated. Trying to force someone to change their natural sleeping pattern is quite mean.

But the impact on you is the same regardless.

No it isn't. What a one dimensional way of looking at things.