Hour many hours sleep at weekend

[sleepyrant]

I'm trying to establish what is normal for a grown adult male.

My DH seems to think that 12/ 15 hours is normal.

And that I am a nag/ unreasonable for suggesting that sleeping like a teenager is normal for a grown arsed male.

Should I LTB?

I’d love that peace and quiet, don’t do all the chores though, he can do his share when he’s up.

It doesn’t sound like he’s going to change after 15 years. Are you doing all the cooking and cleaning while they are asleep? Just stop if you are.

People need to sleep for different amounts of time, I don't think it's being lazy. It's not healthy the way we have become so tired and stressed as a society.

Does he have trouble getting to sleep or wake in the night?

I get that it's annoying if you expect to spend the time together, but it's his choice too and he is choosing to get more rest rather than cram his time full with activities. Don't use this time to do housework on your own, if you don't need the extra sleep then use the time to do something for your self that you enjoy so you can feel less resentful. Plan family/couple time for the afternoons and get them to do their share of the housework in the weekday evenings.

I wouldn't like it. We used to sleep in pre kids but now we are up at 6ish every day and it's amazing what we achieve before midday.
You must feel quite lonely in the mornings and I bet you feel like you have to creep about the house and do all the jobs. If I were you, I'd meet up with a friend for brunch every weekend or go for a massage/haircut etc and let them stew in their beds, one of the days at least.

Why are you doing all the chores while he sleeps? Just do your share and then get on with your day.

I didn't get out bed until 11am today - I had no reason to. If DH nagged at me to get up just because he was up, I'd be pretty pissed off.

Completely agree with you OP. How utterly boring to lay in bad all morning both days of the weekend.

Yes you could go off and do something on your own but personally I like doing things with my husband and would hate to have all that time wasted.

The odd lie in/duvet day is fine but both days every weekend? Not for me.

Also I would hate that he just assumes I was going to sort the dogs. He should be getting up and doing the dogs sometimes too.

Im not an early riser. But id be bored shitless with a man who spent that long in bed every single weekend. Up for a few hours them back to sleep again? Nah Id be gone. Not that I don't gave mega lie-ins but, I dont live with my partner so its just me. I dont have to consider anyone

I didn't get out bed until 11am today - I had no reason to. If DH nagged at me to get up just because he was up, I'd be pretty pissed off.

This is not a one off/ occasional lie in.

& does this man not have a hobby/interest? Although I suppose he's neither interested orl interesting given the sheer amount of time he spends in his pit

Yep. This about sums it up.

Am going to take your advice and start just going out on my own.

You simply didn't post about the actual problem so posters didn't know how to respond.
The actual problem is that you are doing all the chores?
Don't do them then?
Or do half then go out and do something you enjoy?
If he wants to spend his leisure time sleeping, that's kind of up to him. As it's up to you what you do with yours.
If you're not compatible, and you're unhappy, and it's logistically possible, then, leave.

Our dd is now 9 and I don't think we wake up before 9 on a Sunday. Saturday she has swimming at 9 and dd gets up to take her. It depends really

It's not for me either. If I'm not working a weekend I'm rarely out of bed before 11am. I have no reason to be.

One of us will normally get up, let the dog out and feed the cats, but then it's back to bed to sleep/chill/drink coffee in peace.

What's the big rush to get up and get moving? Make your own plans if you're bored.

If he wants to spend his leisure time sleeping, that's kind of up to him. As it's up to you what you do with yours

Do you think it's healthy for teens to see a parent sleeping all the time, rather than getting out and actually doing things? Wow.

Is he hungover?

Why feel that you need to get up and do chores? I think if that was me, I’d do the dogs and then go for a run/go to the shops/watch a film. Do whatever you please, don’t wait for the rest to move.
dp and I would be up at 8.30 ish at the weekends, sometimes 8. Teenagers surface at around 10/11.

No he doesn't drink, or very rarely.

I'd start informing them that as of next weekend you're more than happy for them to sleep in, infact it could be to their benefit as you to are changing your weekend routine where you only cater for yourself and the dog. (Can't really expect the dog to look after itself, and it probably does appreciate you)

What's unhealthy about spending your leisure time doing things that benefit you and make you happy?

Why feel that you need to get up and do chores?

I don't know. I can't bare coming back to a mess.

Stop doing chores in the morning.

Asign everyone a day to get up and let the dog out at an agreed time. They can go back to bed on a week3nd after they've done their dog duties.

What's unhealthy about spending your leisure time doing things that benefit you and make you happy?

Do you actually also sleep 10-12 hours every night? And 12-15 at the weekend?

How does that benefit you?

What time does he go to bed?

10pm like clockwork.

Eh? Where on earth did I say that? Besides, you said they were all asleep too. I can't imagine it's that 'healthy' for them to see a parent who can't think of anything at all to do other than twiddle their thumbs/and or do chores and wait about for someone else to entertain them, either.