To not stop DD playing her French Horn just because it annoys my neighbour

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Disclaimer: There was no one more unhappy than me when, last year after DD got to pick an instrument to play at school, she picked the bloody French Horn and not something more reasonable 😂 but sometimes life throws us a child with a penchant for annoying instruments

Anyway. 9yo DD plays French horn. I spend a small fortune keeping her in peripatetic 1-2-1 lessons because she’s good. She’s got a concert in the local cathedral next month and is playing 2 Christmas songs as part of a brass group and one solo. She’s bricking it bless her. We live in an end terrace. Her room is the one at the end side of the end (ie furthest away from neighbours) so she practises in there. 30 minutes after school and then an hour on Saturdays and Sundays. Wouldn’t usually practise so much but this concert means a lot to her and she wants to do well

Anyway she was playing at 1pm today for an hour and the neighbour came banging on the door. Said he’s sick of it, it’s every day and disturbing his lie-in! I said sorry but she’s got a concert to practice for it won’t be forever. He then moaned because when we first moved in we asked him to stop playing his music at full blast (Taylor swift mainly, as if life isn’t hard enough). But he was playing it from 5pm-9pm, in his bedroom which shares a wall with my 5yo! Which he has done again tonight.

it can’t be that loud, it can barely be heard from the far room (DS’s). But WIBU to carry on as normal? It’s not unsociable hours, and it’s only for another 2 weeks.

@medicatedgift ah I see!

It’s expensive - but Yamaha silent brass is the best practice mute system out there. Has been around for a long time now. I used to use one (horn player in a block of flats). But to be honest, her practice hours are not at all unreasonable.

He doesn’t want to hear the French horn, and you don’t want to hear Taylor Swift. Both are, at the times played, probably unlikely to be legally controlled by any authority so any change to the noise is purely based on courtesy. He did stop listening to his music when you asked, but now he feels that courtesy is only going one way, he’s being less accommodating.

If he’s in a terrace then possibly all of his rooms neighbour someone’s house, and it just happens his Taylor Swift listening room is next to yours.

Am I a lazy fucker though? I wfh - my neighbours won't know my shifts or on calls.

You’re asking the wrong person because it wasn’t me who called you a lazy fucker!

All these terraced have 3 rooms on the top floors, he lives alone, so he’s he couldZ I don’t mind if he plays next to the party wall - just not til 9pm!

I didn't tag you? I wasn't specifically asking you?

If he's beside you and you're mid terrace then all his rooms will be next to someone?

You think his timings were unreasonable because of your lifestyle. Maybe your timings are unreasonable because of his!?

Give and take. He actually stopped when you asked him too… you haven’t stopped, won’t consider a noise canceller, don’t think you should change times and won’t accept criticism on MN when you asked if you were being unreasonable…

Its not that I think your completely in the wrong, but I do think you’re being uncompromising which isn’t right

The elephant in the room is big on this thread.

I don’t think you’re lazy for finishing work at 4am and getting the set amount of time of sleep but I don’t know why you’re asking me when I never accused you of being lazy.

Well you didn’t tag anyone so it’s hard to tell

I'm not asking you. I'm asking generally on the thread. I haven't tagged you?

These are large terraces all with 3 rooms plus bathroom on the top floor and two reception rooms and a kitchen on the bottom floor

We did stop when he came round but she’d done enough practise anyway so it wasn’t too bad.

My son, Bedrock, is 12 and i've had him on Gatorade since he was a wee lad. He has turned out fine, apart from choosing to play the French Horn. My other son, waxed, lightly weathered, cut copper stairs, 72, is now on milk, after I started giving him slurp juice in his baby bottle. This is why Gatorade is much better for babies and childern. Gatorade allows them to play the French Horn better than any of their classmates. I think everyone should try this with their children, and report their results to 069420 696969420420 (Chug Jug ltd)

Good God ,listen to yourself @LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet , you expect him to tone it down but you don't extend the same courtesy to him
If I was your neighbour I'd be playing my music whenever I liked until you learned some manners

The difference is the time and place both things are played. If your neighbour was playing loud music would you prefer it next to your wall or 3 large rooms away?

It really doesn't make a difference - if you can hear it through the walls, it's disruptive no matter where in the house it's being played.

If you hadn't complained to the neighbour about his music being played at a perfectly reasonable time, I doubt you'd be having issues now.

But as it stands, you complained about him and now he's giving you a taste of your own medicine 🤷🏻‍♀️ you can't have it both ways.

Totally unreasonable for any neighbour to object to that amount of music practice (any instrument) at that frequency and those hours of the day!

How else would we have musicians in the world?? All the people objecting - do you listen to music, the radio, have a favourite band? How do you think the people playing learned to do that? ffs.

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet some of the acoustic foam tiles have adhesive backing or you can stick them to the wall using those no nails velcro strips for hanging photo frames. You can also get soundproofing curtains and soundproofing blankets to hang on walls and doors. Putting draft excluders by the door and soundproof matts or just a thick rug on the floor will also reduce sound. It might get a bit pricey but would be worth it to help your daughter practice without annoying your neighbour. I hope she really enjoys her concert.

She doesn't have to stop playing altogether. You just need to make some adjustments to be considerate to your neighbour. You've had numerous suggestions and with a combination of the following you may be able to reduce the annoyance for him.

-practice at school sometimes (even if inconvenient for you!)
-use a muffler thing where possible, even for part of the practice
-ask him what times would be better for him and adjust the practice times to where they are not as annoying

-soundproofing! Another option there

Literally what more can I do oto minimise the noise? I’m not having her do it next to the party wall it’s in a room far away.

So you’re saying that without OP’s DD’s French horn practice, there would be no Taylor Swifts in the world?