To not stop DD playing her French Horn just because it annoys my neighbour

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Disclaimer: There was no one more unhappy than me when, last year after DD got to pick an instrument to play at school, she picked the bloody French Horn and not something more reasonable 😂 but sometimes life throws us a child with a penchant for annoying instruments

Anyway. 9yo DD plays French horn. I spend a small fortune keeping her in peripatetic 1-2-1 lessons because she’s good. She’s got a concert in the local cathedral next month and is playing 2 Christmas songs as part of a brass group and one solo. She’s bricking it bless her. We live in an end terrace. Her room is the one at the end side of the end (ie furthest away from neighbours) so she practises in there. 30 minutes after school and then an hour on Saturdays and Sundays. Wouldn’t usually practise so much but this concert means a lot to her and she wants to do well

Anyway she was playing at 1pm today for an hour and the neighbour came banging on the door. Said he’s sick of it, it’s every day and disturbing his lie-in! I said sorry but she’s got a concert to practice for it won’t be forever. He then moaned because when we first moved in we asked him to stop playing his music at full blast (Taylor swift mainly, as if life isn’t hard enough). But he was playing it from 5pm-9pm, in his bedroom which shares a wall with my 5yo! Which he has done again tonight.

it can’t be that loud, it can barely be heard from the far room (DS’s). But WIBU to carry on as normal? It’s not unsociable hours, and it’s only for another 2 weeks.

Those hour and length of practise times are totally reasonable.

best wishes to her for the concert.

What time is she practicing on weekend mornings?

So good that she wants to practise. It could be worse he could live next to us....we have 1 violin, 1 flute, a trumpet and me - who thinks I am Mariah Carey but in reality sound like a cat being tortured.

I hope the concert goes well.

What time was she practising? If it was early morning at the weekend, then maybe she could practice a bit later in the day?

And hmmm no I would not stop her doing it because your neighbour is getting annoyed! It's something that she loves and is good at, so not a chance would I stop that. He's probably pissed off with you for asking him to stop playing his music and getting revenge!

1pm

Can she take one day off or practice elsewhere for one day? I imagine it’s the relentless daily aspect of it that feels like torture. Just knowing each day when he wakes that there WILL be French horn and it WILL be from the family that asked him to turn down his music but they won’t do the same.

Completely fine musical instruments at that time on weekends.

I think you can get something which you put in the end to muffle the sound (you can for a trumpet anyway). Maybe you could look into getting one?

I can see how it's annoying tbh.

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That said teenagers can't win - at least she is doing something worthwhile.

As annoying as the French horn can be, it sounds like she is only playing it for relatively short amounts of time, and at reasonable hours.

Your neighbour is being an arse.

Not sure what you can do about him retaliating with his late night Taylor Swift. Maybe he'll stop once DD stops practicing for the concert? Sorry OP!

He's still in bed at 1pm?! I thought I was a lazy fucker...

This sounds irritating as hell to live next to. Get her a mute store.paxman.co.uk/french-horn-straight-mutes-c102x2908242

Yes, he should be glad it's not a bugle reveille. 1pm is a civilized time to practice.

There are practice mutes for French horns. A little pricey perhaps, but will make a huge difference.

Damn, you beat me to it! 😂

We have a very enthusiastic 10yo trumpet player next door. During lockdown it was not uncommon for him to practice 3 x a day. DD (who was in yr 9) was doing online exams and was finding it hard to concentrate so I texted his mum and said we were very impressed with his dedication but could he avoid playing 9-3 just during exam week! Luckily we get on well and it was fine. They also must have realised that it was quite loud in DD’s bedroom and he cut back to 1-2 sessions a day. The rest of the time I just tell DD to put up with it as it’s part of having neighbours. 1pm on a weekend is perfectly fine.

We don’t know his shift pattern.

What? I thought you were going to say 10 o’ clock and say that if you wanted to be nice to maybe ask your DD to wait until 11. But if your neighbour expects silence until 1 in the afternoon he’ll just need to get himself some earplugs won’t he?

For example; Denis Wick practice mute

This would drive me up the wall but the times are reasonable. I’d definitely look into the mute thingys though as presumably it won’t just be the next two weeks that she’s practising?

The french horn is a fine instrument, your DD sounds great! Tough cheese for the neighbour, her practice times are fine. Neighbour has no ground for complaint since he subjects you to TayTay. All the best for the concerts!

Will look into a mute - will this not affect her playing though?

No

As in recognising notes? With French horn she tells me that making notes isn’t just about using the buttons but about the way you blow into it. So to make the note E (not sure this is accurate but let’s go with it for purposes of explaining) she has to blow a certain way pressing no buttons and for note F she has to blow on it a different way! And obviously identifies if it sounds right based on what comes out the end