To not stop DD playing her French Horn just because it annoys my neighbour

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Disclaimer: There was no one more unhappy than me when, last year after DD got to pick an instrument to play at school, she picked the bloody French Horn and not something more reasonable 😂 but sometimes life throws us a child with a penchant for annoying instruments

Anyway. 9yo DD plays French horn. I spend a small fortune keeping her in peripatetic 1-2-1 lessons because she’s good. She’s got a concert in the local cathedral next month and is playing 2 Christmas songs as part of a brass group and one solo. She’s bricking it bless her. We live in an end terrace. Her room is the one at the end side of the end (ie furthest away from neighbours) so she practises in there. 30 minutes after school and then an hour on Saturdays and Sundays. Wouldn’t usually practise so much but this concert means a lot to her and she wants to do well

Anyway she was playing at 1pm today for an hour and the neighbour came banging on the door. Said he’s sick of it, it’s every day and disturbing his lie-in! I said sorry but she’s got a concert to practice for it won’t be forever. He then moaned because when we first moved in we asked him to stop playing his music at full blast (Taylor swift mainly, as if life isn’t hard enough). But he was playing it from 5pm-9pm, in his bedroom which shares a wall with my 5yo! Which he has done again tonight.

it can’t be that loud, it can barely be heard from the far room (DS’s). But WIBU to carry on as normal? It’s not unsociable hours, and it’s only for another 2 weeks.

And there's nothing wrong with normal noise at 9pm

Sonce when was full blast music ‘normal noise’. Especially next to a shared wall.

Taylor Swift is noise, a child practicing an instrument is a happy sound of childhood.
Stick them on a screen, right? YABVU

It sounds like he's picked up on this to complain about in response to you previously complaining about him playing music. Neither 9pm at night (for him) or 1pm (for you) are considered 'anti-social' hours for noise. However, both would be equally annoying if you don't personally want to listen to it, so it's very much a case of pick your battles or deal with the consequences.

Probably not every night, that also means doing 2 school runs or hanging around 5 days a week when we have activities and other things booked.

IIf had asked a neighbour to be considerate and they carried on well good look to them. If a neighbour asked me to quieten down and I did only for them to start making noise in a regular basis I would and have taken things further using whatever legal means are available.

I don’t think he will manage to get an injunction on a French horn played for a little while in the afternoon by a child

You’ve asked him to compromise and turn down his Taylor Swift, but you’re unwilling to compromise and have her practice at school one or two evenings because it would mean an extra school run?! I’d say you’re looking at another two weeks of Shake It Off on the party wall, at least.

Bring it on, Taytay

It sounds like you weren't happy to have Taylor Swift but think your neighbour should just suck it up because he is a grown up.

No... it's 9pm in a room with a party wall with a 5yos bedroom vs 1pm in a room on the other side of the house to his.

As I’ve said I’m not sure she’ll be able to practice at school, I’m not sure if they use few the rooms they have already for after school clubs. It’s only another 2 weeks and we will go back to twice weekly practices. We already have all the doors closed and her turning towards the outside wall - like I say I’ve been in DS’s room when she’s played and can barely hear it so there’s no way it’s that noisy for the neighbour

I think, as a PP said, that the neighbour is going to have to put up with the practice. A mute is a solution but not for the entirety of the practice, as tone quality is important. It’s a balance when living in terraced housing.
But, please keep encouraging her. I have travelled the world, performed in major venues, and most importantly made life long friendships because I played the horn. It’s definitely the best instrument to play!

Its not his fault the 5yo is in the room next to his. 9pm isn't unsociable.

1pm isn't early and 9pm isn't late.

You both live in a terrace and you're both going to have to learn to live with noise. So shake it off...

Yes exactly, the two aren’t the same.

I get that with living in a terrace you ah e to tolerate other people’s noise a bit but it’s one thing tolerating noise and the other playing loud (shit) music late at night knowing full well it’s disturbing a child on the other side.

Aw that’s so nice to hear! She struggles with confidence a lot but she loves playing the horn because it’s something she knows she good at so really boosts her

Ignore the neighbour. I had a friend who played it, very difficult, a lot of respect for your daughter here. Play well and prosper ! Timing and length : It's perfectly fine.

Of course it’s unsociable when you’re playing full blast music!

Noise abatement orders include loud musical instruments. If a complaint is made the council have a duty of care to investigate, and advise on how to record the noise.

Noise disturbances are any that unreasonably and substantially disturb the use or enjoyment or a home for example.

People assume that noise is only a problem when it’s after a certain time of the day.

If it wasn’t loud the neighbour wouldn’t be able to hear it would they?

Is every noise you hear a loud one?

30-60 minutes per day at a reasonable hour is not unreasonable.

They are the same, though! Noise is noise: yours isn’t better or more worthy because it’s French horn vs a singer you don’t like.

Your entire argument boils down to: “our noise is important, and his noise is annoying, but he thinks his noise is important and ours is annoying, how dare he.”

You asked him to turn down his Taylor Swift and he did. He’s asked you to dial down the French horn and you won’t. How can you not see the double standard?

Every time you respond I feel my blood pressure going up and my willingness to help you going down. If you're having the same effect on your neighbour then expecting him to obey your arbitrary curfew is something you're going to have to keep for your wildest dreams.

Half an hour or an hour a day is not relentless, Is he even home weekdays? People build entire houses 7am to 4pm bang crash bang for 5-6 days a week for months and the neighbours have to put up with it. That’s relentless. Or the 24h a day works near me on a train line that the people who live next to can hear. Now THAT is relentless. A 9yo playing French horn at 1pm? He should count himself lucky. I’d ask her to play it at 8pm as well until his music goes off!

No, my argument is that our noise is as far away from his house as you can get, for short periods, in the daytime. It’s a necessity for the short time being.

His is right next to our party wall, at an unsociable hour.