To think not everybody regrets terminating

[Struggling2]

I am in this situation now and really struggling with this decision, I have an 8 month old DD and just found out I am pregnant. My marriage is very rocky and DH has been staying at his mums, I really wanted my marriage to work so I have been so preoccupied with that, I feel so guilty that I am in this position, but I know I can’t have another baby in this situation, it wouldn’t be fair on my DD.

I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation, it's one that no one wants to be in.

People have many reasons for terminating a pregnancy, and in some cases it can be a relief. It doesn't have to stay with you forever and doesn't have to be a burden.

You'll know in your heart how to proceed, trust yourself with your decision.

I truly wish you all the best going forward.

I terminated 4 years ago in almost identical circumstances. I have never regretted my die one second.

I've had a termination and although it wasn't exactly pleasant, I have not a single regret. It wasn't the right time, and my life would have been very different if I'd decided to continue the pregnancy.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I had a termination after finding myself pregnant very soon after DC2. Have never regretted it once.

My mum was in your position (I was 18 months old at the time) and she had a termination. She divorced my dad a year later.

She's never regretted it, it was 100% the right thing to do. I think she feels sad and wonders what could have been sometimes, but as I say, she doesn't regret it as she knows it would have been just so difficult.

Hope you make the right decision for you, OP 💐

I didn’t regret mine at all.

it was pre DC though so I can imagine it’s a harder decision after having a LO.

There are lots of women who terminate and know they made the right choice even years later. Best of luck for whichever you choose to do 💕

I had one. I've never regretted it for a second, it was absolutely the right thing to do in the circumstances.

Of course not everyone regrets it.

Having said that, I wish I hadn’t needed mine, but I had a TFMR due to hyperemesis gravidarum, mine was a very wanted and planned baby but I was utterly let down by the NHS and nearly died. It’s a bit different to having an unplanned pregnancy while caring for an infant!

I am the only person I know who regrets their termination and I know a lot of women who have had one. There is every chance you will be fine. 💐

No regrets or guilt here. I just didn’t want another child. Absolutely knew I didn’t.

I don't regret mine. I couldn't afford to bring another child into my life so it was my only option.

Yes I grieved after I had it but I don't regret it.

I terminated 20 years ago and have never regretted it, it was 100% the right decision. Occasionally I work out how old the child would be now and think crikey but it's not with any emotion.

I had one a couple of years ago. There would have been a 7 yr age gap between youngest and baby. I had just felt like i had my life back and my kids were growing up.

No regrets.

I had mine at 25, just spilt from my controlling ex and knew I was in no position to have a baby, especially not with him. No regrets at all but I do think about it, mainly because my sister was 6 months pregnant at the time so I know how old my child would be now

I've had 2- different circumstances in each. Feel sad but not regret

I have not had one, but I know my friend does not regret it. Her relationship was abusive and it was hard enough trying to leave with one DC. She got away and says it saved her life.

Ive had one. Its not a pleasant choice to be faced with, but for us it was absolutely the right one.

I don't regret it at all.

The vast majority of women don't regret it. I've had two - zero regrets. It doesn't need to be a traumatic thing. You don't want to be pregnant and you don't have to be. Good luck.

Never regretted it. Shivers at the possibility of what our lives would have been like if I hadn't done it. It was such a hard decision to make and I could have kicked myself for getting into that situation. In the end what swayed it was thinking of and putting DS first. I'm so grateful I could, and did it. No regrets at all.

Of course many millions of women are relieved to have terminated a pregnancy and go on to always feel it was the right decision.

I'm not going to say Yanbu though because this is a sensitive subject and really shouldn't be trivialised/cheapened by being stuck into the Mumsnet AIBU topic.

Terminated when my live kids were young. Felt emotional but never ever regretted. In fact we donate to BPAS in sheer relief and gratitude.

I’ve not had one but if I were to fall pregnant now I would have one without a second thought and would not regret it.

Never regretted my decision. I was early 20s, the father wasn’t a good prospect at the time. I had (unrelated) difficulties staying pregnant later and still do not regret the decision. I would do the same again if I thought it wasn’t right.

I haven’t had one, but my close friend has and hasn’t ever regretted it. She was with totally the wrong man, and it prompted her to end the relationship and look for someone who she wanted children with. The women I know who have regretted it were pressured into the termination by their partner.

Sorry you're going through this. I am a single mum with 2 kids and if I found myself pregnant again (somehow) I'd definitely terminate. I wouldn't particularly want to but it wouldn't be fair on my existing children. Sending you love 💖