To think not everybody regrets terminating

[Struggling2]

I am in this situation now and really struggling with this decision, I have an 8 month old DD and just found out I am pregnant. My marriage is very rocky and DH has been staying at his mums, I really wanted my marriage to work so I have been so preoccupied with that, I feel so guilty that I am in this position, but I know I can’t have another baby in this situation, it wouldn’t be fair on my DD.

Everyone has an opinion and are allowed to voice it...

Obviously not.

Never regretted mine. Would’ve destroyed my life otherwise

I strongly believe every woman should have the choice to terminate a pregnancy if it’s the right thing for her. Only you can fully understand your circumstances and know what is best in your own situation. Trust your own wisdom in this situation, and do what is best for you and your family. 💐

I had a termination. I fell pregnant whilst on the contraceptive pill when my son was around 9 months old. I was in the process of leaving his toxic father and my son was on the waiting list to undergo a life changing surgery. I did not feel a single ounce of guilt/regret and I never have done (over 18 months later).

Best of luck whatever you chose. ❤️

I hope this isn't unhelpful, but for balance, I have never got over my termination. The difference may be that I was persuaded into it when I knew I didn't want to. I knew I'd regret it at the time and have lived with the pain of it ever since.

I know many/most women thankfully don't suffer long term though after a termination and so I hope you are able to make the right decision for you.

I was told by my mum that a termination was the best thing to do when I was 17 and 13 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend of 3 and a half years was so excited to be a dad. We both worked after leaving school. I was a care assistant he was a trainee mechanic. We really wanted the baby but my mum kept digging bad thoughts in to my head. I had the termination in the end. Totally broke my boyfriends heart and killed our relationship. I still can't get over what I did and I think of my baby every day. Its made me a very bitter person on the inside but I always hide it. My baby would be around 25 now and it still breaks my heart. I've been married for 20 years now and I have kids of 19 and 16 now but I still can't get over what I did.
I broke my boyfriends heart that day and it still hurts but I will never forget and will never forgive my mum. One thing that does torture me is I don't know if it was a boy or girl.
Termination is a really tough decision to make, I'm still punishing myself years later. Do what YOU think is best and don't get talked in to anything, make sure it's your decision. Take care and I hope you are ok.

I terminated a pregnancy around 10 years ago. I had a young baby/toddler at the time I terminated. I’ve never once regretted it and I barely even remember I’ve had a termination unless something makes me think of it. It doesn’t have to be the big deal that some people like to make it out to be. You know in yourself whether it’s the right thing for you.

Had an abortion at 20, no regret.

If I would have had that baby, the ones I have now wouldn't have existed.

Oh god loads of women don't regret terminating. I know for a fact that I would terminate with no hesitate if I were to fall pregnant right now.

No shame. You know your situation.

I terminated my first pregnancy as it wasn't the right time/circumstances. At the time I felt some regret despite knowing it was the right thing to do.
Didn't take long for the hormones to die down and the regret to fade away. It's like a distant memory now despite being less than 4 years ago.

My MIL terminated in the same circumstances as OP and has never regretted it.

I had a termination many years ago, it was 100% my decision. I’ve thought about it over the years, but have never felt regret. My life would have turned out much differently, and probably not for the better. These options are there for a reason.

I really believe that making the decision myself and myself alone meant that it wasn’t complicated; it was not coerced or forced on me, just very clear cut.

Good luck with your decision.

I loathe the narrative that the default feeling women have about abortions is regret and shame.

Im overjoyed and unashamed that I had mine. My life is 100% better because of it. And I’m proud that I was astute enough to make that decision, go through the excruciating pain and come out the other end a happier person. Yes that’s right - I am proud I took the decision to have an abortion and other people should feel the same.

Apparently, feeling horrendous guilt after a termination is a myth. IIRC there was a study done a few years ago that showed the overwhelming majority of women felt great relief and got on with their lives. Good luck OP, do what you think is best for you.

I terminated a much wanted pregnancy for medical reasons (my child had a serious condition). I had so much grief, but I have never regretted it, not for a moment.

Of course they don't.
Y best mate terminated at 16. My sister at 20.

Best thing they ever did. One is an academic with a PHD the other is a doctor.

Also don't feel guilt. The Christian's have pushed that on you. You're eradicating a tiny collection of cells. It is not a child. It's a cloud of cells.

Why shouldn’t it be here? Do you want it shunted off into a dusty corner, where it’s talked about in hushed and shameful tones? Or you could just accept that for a lot of women who have terminations, it’s a straightforward decision that they don’t regret.

Thankfully we have largely moved on from the days when an abortion is automatically seen as a traumatic event followed by a lifetime of shame and guilt.

I had two and although it was sad at the time I never regretted it or even think about it now. Not the right time, not the right situation. Honestly it was very early and quite a straightforward process.

Wow I can’t believe the replies! Honestly thanks so much. Sorry if I offended anybody by putting it here but I don’t see why it shouldn’t be here, it shouldn’t be a dirty secret that women are ashamed of, and surely you are aware this is not a decision taken lightly, I have been through hell this week with this and now I don’t feel so alone, so thank you.

I had a termination 10 years ago. I was in a relationship that I wanted to end and we already had young children. Although we were definitely past the baby stage, my youngest was 6 at the time and I just couldn’t bare the thought of having to go through all that again.

It is not something I did lightly, all my children where unplanned pregnancy’s as such so I have been used to making the best of unplanned situations.

My, now ex partner did not want me to have a termination (he knew he was losing control) but I did anyway. I do not regret it one bit, I regret getting pregnant (I was on contraception) but given what happened in the years after the termination I really don’t know how I would have coped with another baby. I left my partner, not that he was very helpful anyway but he basically abandoned the kids we do have. I went back to work full time (could never gave afforded nursery fees) and sold out family home.

I do think sometimes, I should have a ten year old. But I know 100% that I made the right decision, I don’t regret it but like I said I wish it had never happened.

I'm glad this has been helpful for you. I had a termination years ago and have never regretted it. Nor did my DF who had one a couple of years later. Both pregnancies were at the wrong time.

It didn't stop either of us having children at the right time.

Also don't regret mine. I put my existing children first and made the decision to terminate. It would have changed their lives for the worse for many reasons (not least financial) and mine - I would not have taken the career move I did and now love - and I would have been tied to life to a person who at best is very toxic and at worse, has a serious personality disorder.

When he subsequently got someone else pregnant and abandoned them and the baby, I was very pleased I was not connected to him for life.

Good luck! Glad it’s been helpful

I think YABU because I believe MOST women who choose to have an abortion don’t regret it.

Why would they? They wouldn’t have chosen to have it, otherwise.

I don’t regret mine - I felt, and to this day feel, nothing but relief.

Ignore the silly poster who said this isn’t the right forum to discuss this. It’s absolutely fine to post here, and s/he could so easily just not have clicked on the thread. Couldn’t help themselves though, could they?