To think not everybody regrets terminating

[Struggling2]

I am in this situation now and really struggling with this decision, I have an 8 month old DD and just found out I am pregnant. My marriage is very rocky and DH has been staying at his mums, I really wanted my marriage to work so I have been so preoccupied with that, I feel so guilty that I am in this position, but I know I can’t have another baby in this situation, it wouldn’t be fair on my DD.

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet

This is not the right post for me to list my reasons. MN is very one sided, and it's too early to have people name calling me because of what my reasons are. I simply wanted to make a point that it was unnecessary to throw shade at Christian's when no one here was trolling her or throwing religious views on why she should keep her baby. There are women here who don't regret and some who do regret. OP already has a big decision to make. That's my input.

@Marmiteontoastyum I am sorry you have struggled conceiving, absolutely made up for you that you are pregnant now and I wish you all the best!

I have zero regret. I was so grateful to live in a country where we have this choice to access safe abortion rather than be forced down a dangerous path.
i felt instant relief, a little physical discomfort, and just such a weight off my shoulders.
It wasn’t a hard decision for me in any way, I never had a moment of doubt as soon as I saw the test tell me I was pregnant - I knew instantly that I wouldn’t be continuing the pregnancy.

@Freshmind001 i agree re the Christians comment. I’m a Christian and extremely pro choice. But I absolutely disagree that most pro-lifers are Christian. I hate that it’s the only religion that’s ok to slag off and make assumptions about.

Abyway you’re right this isn’t the thread.

OP hope you are ok, you mustn’t feel one nanosecond of guilt.

You did refer to it as murder, abortion and murder should never be in the same sentence in my opinion, it is bloody hard enough without that.

I completely respect you have a different opinion to me and that’s fine but please don’t kick me whilst I am down. I truly hope you are never in this position because until you have been, you cannot possibly comment.

Zero regrets, grief or sadness after my termination. Just relief that it was over and overwhelming gratitude to live in a country where I could make this choice freely and legally.

A friend found this article useful when she was trying to make a decision recently.

amp.theguardian.com/world/2022/oct/18/pregnancy-weeks-abortion-tissue

did You have any wobbles taking the tablets? I can imagine I will be very emotional when I get there. I am 5 weeks currently so hopefully won’t be too bad and DD will be at school.

I've never ever had an ounce of regret and terminated 11 years ago

I wasn't trying to kick you down, I haven't said one bad thing to you regardless of my views.

I was simply stating it's not fair to name call . Pro-lifers also don't respect being called 'forced-birthers' as pro-choice people don't appreciate being called 'murders'.

Ok no worries.

Just to add OP, I have been in your position (slightly different), and I made my decision just as you will.

not really analogous, one label is accurate and the other isn’t (given that murder is a legal definition, and even when illegal abortion wasn’t classed as murder). Pro life is forced birth. If you don’t appreciate it being called for what it is, then you always have the option of not being a proponent of forced birth.

I’ve had 2, never a question in my mind that it was the right decision, both times I phoned the clinic the second I saw the test turn positive. I never felt anything but relief and I never give them a second thought now.

Of course not everyone regrets it. I'm sure there are some women who do and some who don't. It's entirely specific to you, your feelings, your situation...

I had one when my eldest child was around 3 or 4. I'd been mentally very unwell and was finally getting back on my feet. We'd been extremely poor and things were just starting to look up. I wasn't even living with my partner. There was no way I was capable of looking after a baby at that time. I don't regret it and rarely think about it. I have since gone on to have another child when I was more stable and settled.

Also had an abortion. It wasn’t a hard or agonising decision, or even an emotional one. I knew I didn’t want to be pregnant or have a kid, so I immediately got on with booking the appointment. Never felt shame, guilt or regret.

it’s an incredibly common medical procedure, one of the most common ones in fact. Why shouldn’t it be talked about, or only talked about in hushed and deeply reverential tones?

I agree with this.

Abortion isn’t murder by any definition.

But pro lifers DO not to force women to give birth when they don’t want to. Just own it!

@whumpthereitis

Proves my point, very one sided. Doesn't even merit a proper response.

I was in a very similar situation and chose to terminate. No regrets at all. It was 100 percent the right choice for my family.

‘Doesn’t merit a proper response’ aka ‘I can’t dispute fact’.

Of course it’s one sided. I’m not going to pretend I have respect for forced birthers, or consider them to hold a position of equal merit. It isn’t and they don’t. If you want proof of that then by all means take a look at the statistics for abortion worldwide. Almost half occur in countries where it is illegal, and women are maimed and killed as a result. Forced birth isn’t an ideology that saves babies or protects life, it’s the opposite.

@whumpthereitis

Whatever makes you happy honestly. I refuse to feel the level of negativity you clearly have/feel. May God give you peace even with those you name call.

I had a termination in my 20s and have 4 friends who have also had terminations. Not one of us has ever regretted it. I was sad at the time of course as it’s a sad situation but honestly I genuinely never even think about it now. It was a cluster of cells.

Please explain to me why forced birther is not an accurate term for pro life. It's a binary choice. You either allow women to terminate by giving them the choice, or you take that choice away from them therefore forcing them into carrying to term.

The pro-life movement is actively campaigning to remove this choice for women.

So how is that in any way different from forcing women to give birth?

I might be a little dim, but I honestly don't get it

😂😂😂

You’re absolutely correct! I do not have positive feelings towards people desiring to limit women’s rights and deny them access to safe medical procedures. I also lack positive feelings towards racists and other hate groups, funnily enough.

Overall I’m good on the peace front, but if you’re going to ask god to give me anything I’d appreciate it if he could arrange to have another decent series dropped on Netflix. I just finished one and i’m well up for another.

@whumpthereitis totally off topic but watch Wednesday if you haven't already :D

How horrible. Fucking NHS. I'm so sorry for your loss. X