To think not everybody regrets terminating

[Struggling2]

I am in this situation now and really struggling with this decision, I have an 8 month old DD and just found out I am pregnant. My marriage is very rocky and DH has been staying at his mums, I really wanted my marriage to work so I have been so preoccupied with that, I feel so guilty that I am in this position, but I know I can’t have another baby in this situation, it wouldn’t be fair on my DD.

Statistically terminations are more common in women who already have children. The image of women who are having terminations is often a younger women, perhaps single but this just isn’t the case.

If I did become pregnant again (incredibly unlikely) I would have to terminate. Having another baby wouldn’t be in the best interests of my children.

No regrets for me either. Wrong time, wrong circumstances, wrong person.
It was all straightforward and then I got on with my life, and didn't look back.

Glad you feel less alone.

And no need to apologise. There’s absolutely no reason this shouldn’t be in Aibu.

Had a termination when I'd just turned 19. Been with my boyfriend 6 months, we were inexperienced and each others first times. Condom came off, I even took the morning after pill. I just remember taking the pregnancy test and thinking- I don't want this right now, I'm not ready to be a Mother. 18 years later, still no regrets. I feel lucky I had the option.

I actually didn't have to have an abortion because I had a miscarriage the day before the appointment but regardless I knew I didn't want the pregnancy to progress. Zero regrets, just pure relief. At the time I was in an abusive relationship and trying to get out and the thought of being trapped with this man even further was terrifying.

Do what you need to do for you OP.

Lots of reasons to terminate, any and all are completely valid. I found myself pregnant, had a 2 year old, in a solid marriage, good job etc. Had a termination because I simply didn’t want another child; I know it would have negatively impacted my mental health, my ability to be a good mum to my DD etc. Felt a bit of an idiot for getting myself into the situation in the first place, but didn’t regret the termination for a minute (it was 2 years ago now).

You can make your point without trying to throw shade at 'Christians'. I know many Christians who have that same belief as you. OP probably feels guilty because she's HUMAN and it's a massive decision for her. Don't go around throwing stupid comments that can be offensive to others 😒

Only you know the ‘right’ decision in your circumstances. But know this, if you make the right choice it’s not as hard as you imagine.

Just be sure it’s your decision, made for you, by you.

Hugs to you @Struggling2 💐 and I hope you have someone irl you can talk with.

I relt relief and no regret.

Not a Christians are forced-birthers, but almost all pro-birthers are Christians. Your point is moot...

I certainly have no regrets. Never gave it another thought

I've never regretted it for a single second. I knew the minute I found out what I wanted to do and couldn't do it quick enough.

Almost 30 years later I very rarely think about it, in fact until seeing your post OP I can't remember the last time it crossed my mind.

I do think it’s every woman’s choice. I’ve not personally had one but in your circumstance I would never judge anyone.

I did take the morning after pill when young and in unsteady relationships. I wouldn’t want to bring a child into a rocky relationship.

I’ve done a pros and cons list and the only thing on the cons is regret and a sibling for my daughter but she needs me
more right now and I can’t have a baby for fear of regret.

Terminated when I got pregnant 3rd time. We could not have done it financially and I was already very tired at that time. Termination was very straighforward and I do not regret it. It was a correct decision. I do not think about it often at all. I was scared because I thought I would regret it but it is not true at all.

What do people mean when they say women shouldn’t ‘take the decision lightly’. For me, I got a positive pregnancy test and I immediately booked the abortion. I gave it about 4 seconds worth of thought, the 4 seconds being “I don’t want a baby”. I didn’t mull over alternative choices, at all. And anyone saying I should have can fuck right off

@RandomMusings7

Referring to them as 'forced-birthers' is like me referring to you as a 'murder'. Both sides could argue and defend that label. Let's put the name calling to rest. I didn't see one 'Christian' on here come and troll OP or other women so it's uncalled for, for anyone to throw shade when it was clearly unnecessary. I am personally pro-life but doesn't mean I should be subjected to any form of abuse since I am not throwing abuse at anyone. I wish OP the best, and hope she gets the help she needs regardless of what anyone here says.

I feel so guilty that I’m in this position, I was too focused on getting my marriage back on track. I was foolish.

Please, I do not need anybody referring to this as murder when I feel the way I do.

Can I ask why you’re pro-life, and in what circumstances abortion should be allowed?

Pro life = forced birther. Nice talking, bye bye

I wanted to add that in my position I was scared that I would feel some terrible guilt after, but I actually just mainly felt relieved. I think we know what we want deep down even though it's hard. And part of it is that it feels like you SHOULD feel deep sadness and guilt even if you don't.

I really don’t think it’s helpful for the Op for this to become a pro choice /pro life debate.

Its really unfair to derail the ops thread, when she is going through a difficult time.

You have all been so supportive, I do told my mum and she agrees it is the right thing to do too. I’m honestly overwhelmed with the support you have all given me.

OP for what it’s worth I am pregnant with an IVF baby after 4 years of TTC. I do NOT judge you one bit and despite my struggles would strongly consider abortion if I was in your situation.

The far right Christian extremists have always got something to say. I was watching an American Christian extremist taking about how ‘abortion is wrong’ but when asked ‘do you believe in the death penalty?’. ‘Yes! Ofcourse. 100%’. None of it makes sense. Their pro-life agenda is about recruiting numbers for the church not morality.

You are carrying a heavy heart right now, don’t make it any more painful for yourself by placing unnecessary weight on the opinion of extremists x